


Awareness

by BeccatheBiscuitBaker



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson, Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe, Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Arguments, Artist Connor, Coffee Shop, Connor loves art, Evan knows he is a fictional character, F/F, F/M, FIGHT ME!!, Fights, I Ship It, I need suggestions!!, Jared is insecure, Jared loves bathbombs, M/M, Readers help move the story along!, Suicide Attempt, Tree Bros, Tree nerd Evan, Yes Jared is shipped with Grover, better?, evan becomes self aware, its difficult to explain, its easier to explain if you read it, i’ll tag as i go, let me try again, readers have influence, shit post
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2019-06-07 21:46:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 35
Words: 40,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15228531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeccatheBiscuitBaker/pseuds/BeccatheBiscuitBaker
Summary: Evan is just living his life. The Murphy’s hate him, Connor is dead, life just sucks.That’s when Evan learns about a musical called Dear Evan Hansen.•Suggestions are heavily needed for the story to continue. Updates are unpredictable•





	1. Waving Through A Screen

**Awareness**

Evan groaned at the sound of his alarm. The teen hated getting up to have another day of everyone hating him. Granted the boy knew it was his own fault, he made the mess that is his life.

”Who said that” Evan squeaked.

Wait...you can hear me?

”Y-Yeah” Evan whispered. “Who are you?”

Wow. Okay, umm...Evan, you can call me Becca. Becca the Biscuit Baker.

”Where are you” Evan asked, climbing out of bed.

I am currently writing this wonderfully horrid fan fiction for the Dear Evan Hansen fandom!

”The what?”

Okay, umm...Dear Evan Hansen is an amazing Broadway musical. It’s really popular actually. You, Evan, are actually the main character. It’s about everything that happened with Connor and the Murphy’s and what you did. Anyone who is reading this knows about it.

“Reading this” Evan gasped. “Someone can just read my thoughts?”

Yes Evan. At least in this particular work they can. I am quite confused on how you became self aware. Now I have to change the tags. I am the author of this work, I control this world.

”What do I do now” Evan questioned. “Wait! Fan fiction? So that means somewhere I have to have a happy ending, right?”

Oh definitely. I’m the creator of a few myself. Most of the time we writers will create worlds for you and Connor to be happy.

”Connor is alive in other worlds” Evan mumbled. “What does he do in them?”

Usually he ends up dating you. You and Connor are the most popular relationship.

”I’m dating Connor Murphy” Evan blanked. “But I liked Zoe.”

Poor poor Evan. You have no idea of what we have created as a fandom. And it doesn’t help that the musical never establishes that you are bisexual.

”I am?”

If you weren’t before, you are now. How about we get you ready for the day?

Evan was going to say something but the author snapped her fingers and Evan was transported to his living room, dressed and ready for school.

”Can you make your talking a different font or something” Evan begged. “It’s confusing to read what’s happening and when you are talking.”

•I’m too lazy to do that. I’ll just use these dots to show when I’m talking.•

”That works” Evan nodded.

•Evan, with my powers as a practical god, what if I gave you another shot? I can give you another chance, you can start over and not worry about anyone hating you anymore.•

”How” Evan asked.

The author made a motion with her hand and the scene changed. Evan was back at school, his white cast on display. Jared was approaching.

“How does it feel to be the first guy to ever break his arm while jacking off” Jared laughed.

”T-That’s not what happened Jared” Evan muttered. “I fell out a tree, and yes...just like an acorn.”

”How did you know I would” Jared trailed off.

“I just did” Evan whispered.

Jared walked off to bother someone else, giving the author time to talk with Evan.

•I’m proud of you! You managed to get Jared to not make the Instagram joke. Now, when Connor comes into play, don’t mess it up. Going back in time hurts like hell.•

Evan nodded and could hear the familiar laughe that belonged to Jared Kleinman.

”Wow Connor, I’m really digging the new hair style” Jared smirked. “Very school shooter chic.”

”Don’t be an asshole Jared” Evan cried. “Just because the only thing you’ll ever date is a bathbomb doesn’t mean you have to be a dick to Connor.”

“Screw you Evan” Jared mumbled, clearly insecure. “Asshole!”

Jared stormed off and Connor turned to Evan. Fear setteled into the shorter boy’s chest as the older Murphy approached.

”Thanks” Connor said.

The talker teen stalked away and Evan scurried to class. The room was empty thanks to the power of writing, giving Evan the chance to talk with the author.

”Did I do alright” Evan asked.

•You did wonderful Evan! Now, when lunch comes around continue talking with Connor. Don’t write your letter about Zoe because you don’t like her anymore, print off the letter and let Connor come over like last time. Don’t worry about Jared, he’ll come back next chapter.•

Evan nodded and focused on class, the room suddenly filling with his peers. Evan found it easier to focus when he already went through the class once before, and with the powers of writing, lunch cane quickly. Evan pulled out his computer and started his letter.

_Dear Evan Hansen,_

_turns out today won’t be the greatest day  and it won’t be the best year. Why? Because you are practically alone. No one would notice if you fell off the edge of the earth, because why would they? You don’t matter. All you want is to belong, but with your luck the best you’ll ever get is a blank cast from “falling” out of a tree. Yeah..._

_Sincerely, your best and most dearest friend,_

_Me_

Evan printed the paper and waited. He heard the doors to the library open, but waited for Connor to say something.

”How’d you break your arm” Connor asked.

”Oh, umm” Evan stuttered.

•Tell him the truth Evan.•

”I jumped out of a tree” Evan stated. “I-I don’t think that mattered to you but umm...you asked and...yeah.”

”That’s the saddest fucking thing I’ve ever heard” Connor deadpanned. “No one signed your cast.”

”No” Evan nodded. “I know.”

”I’ll sign it” Connor offered.

”Y-Youndonthavetodothat” Evan rushed.

•Evan, shut the fuck up.•

”Do you have a sharpie” Connor asked.

Evan handed Connor the sharpie from his cast and watched as the taller boy’s name was wrote on his arm. Clear as day: CONNOR

”Now we can both pretend we have friends” Connor nodded.

•THATS YOUR CUE•

“We don’t have to pretend” Evan squeaked. “I’m clearly a huge loner, I hang out with Jared Kleinman, and we aren’t even friends. He just uses me for his car insurance. I’d like to be friends with you.”

”Okay, sure Hansen” Connor sighed. “You wanna be friends with the school shooter, go ahead. Oh, is this letter yours? Dear Evan Hansen? That’s your name so I’m assuming.”

”Oh, yeah” Evan chuckled. “That’s a therapy assignment. Could I have that back please?”

”Because you are practically alone” Connor read. “You didn’t just jump...you were gonna off yourself.”

”Clearly it didn’t work” Evan muttered.

•Some people have wrote it to work out.•

Connor handed Evan the letter and squeezed the shorter boy’s shoulder.

”Apparently not” Connor mumbled.

”Ill see you tomorrow Connor” Evan smiled, walking out of the library.

Evan walked to his next class and smiled to himself, it wasn’t too bad of a day.

”Is he gonna kill himself” Evan asked.

•We will find out soon enough. If anything, if he does...I can just rewind and try again.•

”Can’t you fast forward to tomorrow” Evan begged.

•Nope. Well...I could. But I think I’m gonna leave the chapter off here while we let the readers decide what happens next. Should Connor survive? Leave your suggestions in the comments below!•

”Who are you talking to” Evan blanked.

•The readers. Okay, Evan focus on class until I start writing the next chapter. Love y’all<3•

”Was that a heart” Evan chuckled.

•It’s how I end most chapters Evan! Just focus on class!•


	2. Anybody Have a Keyboard?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “WE CAN SUMMARIZE STUFF!”  
> •Evan, it’s not a big deal. Honestly this is probably a good summarization.•

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Notes?”  
> •I usually leave a stupid note and do my send off,•  
> “Do the send off!”  
> •ENJOY MY LOVELIES!•  
> “That’s lame.”  
> •YOURE LAME!•

**Anybody Have a Keyboard?**

Evan awoke with a surprisingly good feeling. If Connor survived the night, he could become his friend. A real friend.

•CAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE TONIGHT!•

”Why did you do that” Evan groaned.

•Cause I felt like it. All the comments said to have Connor survive. So...let’s get ready.•

”Can’t you just snap your fingers and I’ll be at school, ready for the day” Evan asked.

•I could, but I won’t. Get ready Evan, Heidi is going to come up soon.•

Evan rolled his eyes and got ready for the day, the author giving him the privacy he deserved for the morning. Soon Evan was trotting down the stairs and into the kitchen. Heidi was sitting at the counter.

”Hey Ev” Heidi cheered. “How did the first day of school go?”

”Good” Evan nodded, he wasn’t used to Heidi being friendly with him. “I made a new friend. Maybe two?”

”That’s great honey” Heidi beamed. “I hope you have another great day, I’ve got class in thirty. I might get off early tonight, but I’ll see you tomorrow hon!”

Heidi rushed out the door, leaving the teen and the author behind.

•Heidi will get better, just not this chapter.•

“Can we go to school now” Evan sighed.

•Eat first.•

Evan reluctantly ate a bowl of cereal. Once he ate the teen ran around to grab his things.

”You said that people ship me with Connor” Evan recalled.

•Hell yeah! Tree Bros for life my man!•

”Tree Bros?”

•It’s the ship name. You are also shipped with Jared, and while I don’t ship it, Kleinsen is kinda cute.•

”What about Zoe?”

•She is usually shipped with Alana, if not you. And it ain’t you very often. They are called Galaxy Girls, I seriously have no clue why.•

The author brought Evan to school, ending the conversation. Evan walked to his locker and frowned as Jared approached.

”I’m sorry for being an ass” Jared whispered.

”I want to forgive you” Evan sighed. “But you need to stop pushing me aside. We both know that you don’t just hang out with me for your car insurance.”

“Okay” Jared squeaked. “I’d love to stay and chat, but Murphy is coming over and I want to live until tomorrow. Bye!”

Jared pranced off as Connor approached. Evan shook off his anxiety and turned to greet the taller boy.

”Hi Connor” Evan smiled.

”Hey Hansen” Connor greeted. “Thanks again for yesterday. You have no idea how much it means to me.”

•Yes he does.•

”N-No problem” Evan chuckled. “Y-You have English f-first hour, right?”

”Yeah” Connor nodded. “You do too. I’ll grab my shit and see you in class.”

Connor walked away and Evan went to class. Evan never realized how pale Connor truly was. Or how part of his right eye was brown, complete contrast to the usual striking blue.

”Are you making me think this” Evan muttered.

•Honey, this is a Tree Bros fic at heart. Obviously I’m making you think this.•

”Okay then” Evan sighed. “What about Connor? You are gonna make him feel the same way, right?”

•I might make you do all the heavy lifting on that. Just be nice for now.•

Connor walked into the room and plopped down in the desk next to Evan. The smaller boy smiled and Connor returned it. 

“So” Connor drawled. “We’re friends now, what do we do?”

“Umm, what do you want to do” Evan asked.

”Meet me at the doors after school” Connor offered. “I’ve got an idea.”

Evan nodded and the two teens socialized until class began. Evan felt his whole world pause, and in an instant it was after school.

”What did you do” Evan hissed, opening his locker.

•I went to paint my nails. After I came back I decided to skip to the end of the day. Now, hurry off to Connor.•

Evan nodded and walked out of the school. Connor was sitting on a bench.

”Hey Connor” Evan greeted.

“Hey Hansen” Connor nodded. “Ready to go?”

Evan nodded and the two walked to Connor’s car. Connor started to drive and Evan took the time to mumble to the author.

”Where are we going” Evan asked.

•It’s time for the classic A La Mode ice cream scene!•

”Oh boy” Evan hummed.

The teens finished the drive while chatting. Evan was amazed at how well the two got along, it was almost like they mirrored each other. It was like looking back at a reflection in a wacky mirror.

•WAVING THROUGH A WINDOW!•

If Evan could punch the author, he would have. Connor pulled up to the old ice cream parlor and hopped out.

”What do you want” Connor asked, walking into the building.

•ITS BASICALLY CANON FOR YOU TO GET VANILLA! YOU CAN CHOOSE FOR YOURSELF!•

”How about brownie” Evan shrugged.

Connor nodded and walked up to order. Evan found a quiet table near the back for them to sit at. Connor came to the table and handed Evan the dish of ice cream.

”How much do I owe you” Evan asked.

”Nothing” Connor assured. “We’re friends, you just get to pay next time.”

”Okay” Evan nodded.

The two ate in a comfortable silence and Connor drove Evan home after.

”Hey Hansen” Connor mumbled. “Do you ever feel like you shouldn’t be somewhere. Like something doesn’t add up?”

”I mean...sometimes yeah, why do you ask?”

”I just feel like the world is off kilter” Connor shrugged. “Like something should have happened that didn’t.”

Evan and Connor said their goodbyes and Evan hopped out of the car.

”See you tomorrow” Evan called.

Connor nodded and drove off. Evan walked into the house and flipped down on his couch.

“I think he’s onto us” Evan groaned.

•Want me to check up on him next chapter?•

”Like, make a chapter from his perspective?”

•Exactly.•

”Ask the readers” Evan yawned. “I’m gonna do my homework and get to bed.”

•Okay then. Should next chapter be from Connor’s perspective? Leave your suggestions in the comments below. And, should I truly go through with the Tree Bros concept? Anyway, I’m gonna leave this off here, we’ve got notes to write.•

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “More notes?”  
> •I have do my sign out.•  
> “Then do it.”  
> •Love y’all<3•  
> “I still don’t like the heart.”  
> •Shut up Evan!•


	3. Connor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A chapter from Connor's prospective.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •I'm kinda glad to have a break from Evan, I love him, but he is quite annoying.
> 
> Enjoy my lovelies!•

**Connor**

Connor Murphy felt broken that first day of school. He just wanted to die. So that's what he planned. The teen stole a bottle of pills from the cabinet in the bathroom and continued with his day.

When Connor arrived at school and Evan Hansen of all people defended him, it was a surprise for sure. Connor decided to thank the smaller teen at lunch before offing himself, just so Evan didn't think it was his fault.

Of course Evan had to be the stuttering person he was and ask to be Connor's friend. When Connor realized how broken Evan felt too, he couldn't say no. So now Connor Murphy, future school shooter, had a friend who expected him to be at school the next day.

Connor put the pills back where they came from and acted like his usual angsty self for the rest of the day. Connor actually felt hopeful for the first time in ages.

So obviously the next day he offered to take Evan to the best place in earth, A La Mode. Connor noticed that Evan mumbled to himself in the car, but that was probably his anxiety. Connor expected Evan to get something bland, like vanilla, but the blue clad teen ordered brownie ice cream. Connor recalled Zoe liking it when they were younger, but Connor never had the taste for it.

Connor gladly drove his new found friend home and hurried to get home himself, Connor had a very secret Tumblr account that he posted horrible art on, and occasionally some random shit about his life.

**Okay, I've got a friend. First time having one since like...second grade? And my gay ass thinks he's hella adorable. So...damn  it, gay thoughts...ugg. Anyway, here's a drawing of a forest, because reasons.**

Connor closed the tab after posting the picture. They teen decided to turn off his computer and actually eat that night. He knew it would end up with a fight, but whatever, he was hungry.

Connor ate in silence, for hope of no one yelling at him. Surprisingly, it worked. Connor bound to go his room after dinner and actually did his homework for once. There wasn't a battle that evening.

The next morning Connor felt even more hopeful. He had never  felt this happy, at lease...not in a few years. Connor decided to be a good friend  and drive Evan to school. The teen rushed to get out of the house and over to Evan's. Evan was walking out the door the moment Connor pulled up.

 "C'mon Hansen" Connor called. "I'm driving you today."

 Evan smiled a quite adorable smile and climbed into the car.

 "Thanks Connor" Evan smiled. "I appreciate it."

 Connor started the drive to school. Evan looked excited, like he had accomplished a big dream.

 "Who poured sunshine in your cheerios" Connor chuckled.

 "I'm just happy" Evan sighed. "I had this really messed up nightmare where you committed suicide and it felt so real, that seeing you today just made that fear to away."

 •I gotcha Evan.•

 "That's weird" Connor mumbled.

 "You w-wouldn't do that, right" Evan asked.

 "Before I met you, yeah" Connor confessed. "Now, I don't think so. I planned on it, the first day of school. But now, I don't really want to."

 "I'm glad you're doing better" Evan whispered.

 "Me too Ev" Connor nodded. "Me too."

The rest of the drive passed in a comfortable silence. Evan still seemed a little concerned about Connor's mental state, and the taller teen understood why.I

 

The two teens split up to grab their things for class and they sat next to each other like the day before.

 "Wow" the teacher chuckled. "Connor Murphy at school three days in a row? Isn't that a new record?"

 " Wow" Connor scoffed. "Sir, isn't that your fourth donut today? Talk about diabetes."

 "Office" the teacher snapped.

 "Gladly" Connor smiled. "See ya later Ev."

 Connor walked down to the office and the secretary just sighed. Connor sat for the rest of the hour and was released so he could go to art. Connor passed Evan on his way and nodded at his friend.

Art was the one class that Connor relaxed in, excluding study hall because he usually naps during that class. And since it was senior art, he could do whatever he wanted. If Connor wasn't napping, he was in the art room during study hall.

 "Mr. Murphy" Ms. Leland called.

 "Yes" Connor replied, looking up from his doodle.

They teacher saved Connor over and the teen walked to her desk.

 "I see that you are making improvements to your behavior this year" Ms. Leland noted.

 "Yeah, I want to graduate after all" Connor joked.

 "I'll make you a deal" Ms. Leland whispered. "You are a very talented student. One of the best I've seen in years. If you keep a C average all year or higher, meaning no D's or F's, I will talk to my sister and tell her to give you a full scholarship for one of the finest art institutes in the state."

 "Are you serious" Connor gasped.

 "Yes Connor" Ms. Leland nodded. "Do we have a deal?"

 "Yes" Connor grinned. "Oh my god, thank you!"

 "Now, back to work" Ms. Leland commanded. "I expect great work from you Connor."

Connor walked back to his spot and decided to start work on a new painting. Today was a good day, Connor couldn't wait to tell Evan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •Kinda short, but I think it's good this way. I wanna try daily uploads.
> 
> Love yall<3•


	4. Back to Evan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> •Screw the summary•

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •Enjoy my lovelies!•

**Back to Evan**

"So what did you establish last chapter" Evan asked.

 •Connor likes you.•

 "What do I do now" Evan squeaked.

 •You've known him for four days now Evan. I don't know. Ask him out?•

 "You sure" Evan mumbled.

•If you get rejected I can just go back in time. Now, Connor's here to take you to school.•

Evan grabbed his bag and ran out the door. He hopped into Connor's car and they drove off to school. Connor seemed really happy.

 "Still excited about the scholarship" Evan chuckled.

 "Yeah" Connor sighed. "I'm excited."

 "Cool" Evan nodded. "Do y-you want to go out with me sometime?"

 Connor stopped at a red light and turned to Evan.

 "You serious" Connor questioned.

 "Y-Yeah" Evan whispered.

 "Of course" Connor smiled. "It's Friday, we could do something tonight."

 "Okay" Evan grinned. "Now I feel awkward."

 "Don't feel awkward" Connor chuckled, grabbing Evan's hand.

Evan squeezed back and they finished their drive to school. They split up to grab their things for English class and spotted Zoe and Alana talking in the hall.

•Matchmaker Evan, activate!•

Evan walked over to the girls and pushed Alana lightly. The girl fell into Zoe and Evan walked away.

 "Hi" Alana breathed. "I like your eyes."

 "Hey" Zoe smirked. "I like your glasses."

 "What was that" Connor snorted.

"Anyone could see the romantic tension waving off of them" Evan shrugged.

"Today just keeps getting better" Connor sighed happily.

The pair finished their walk to class and sat down. There wasn't any snarky comments from teachers, Connor didn't get detention, everything was going fine.

Evan plopped down next to Jared at lunch, he had a jaw breaker in his mouth. Connor sat next to Evan on his left, and Galaxy Girls were across from them a moment later, hand in hand.

"Finally a couple" Jared asked, his words slurred because of the candy in his mouth.

"Yeah" Zoe beamed.

"Congrats" Connor nodded. "We should go on a double date or something."

"Who are you dating" Alana questioned.

Connor wrapped an arm around Evan's shoulders in response. Jared spit out his jaw breaker and stared at Evan.

"You're dating the school shooter" Jared hissed.

 "Jared" Evan sighed. "That's not even a jaw breaker, it's a tiny bath bomb."

 "Shut up Hansen" Jared mumbled.

 "Do you want to sing the song" Evan chuckled.

 "Song" Zoe blanked.

 "Now I'm just" Jared sang. "Jared in the Lush store. Jared in the Lush store cronching bath bombs. Put em in my mouth. Jared in the Lush store, Jared in the Lush store cronching bath bombs. Please don't kick me out. I'm eating them all, cause they taste so good. They make my lips soft, like I knew they would. I'm just, Jared who you don't know! Jared who's a freakshow! Jared in the Lush store by himself!"

 "Why don't you say crunch" Alana laughed.

 "I don't love the crunch" Jared explained. "I love the cronch!"

•This is why I love Jared.•

 "Duble date or nah"  Connor muttered.

 "After school" Alana nodded. "We can all meet by the door."

 "Okay" Evan smiled, leaning closer to Connor.

 "Ev, c'mon" Jared called.

Jared pulled Evan up, but Connor stopped him.

 "Maybe he doesn't want to go" Connor suggested.

 "He doesn't belong to you Murphy" Jared smirked.

 "Back off" Connor whispered.

 "I don't see your name on him" Jared chuckled.

 "Bitch" Connor grinmed, holding up Evan's left arm.

 "I can speak for myself" Evan mumbled.

 "Okay then" Jared nodded.

 "I wanna go write my letter" Evan stated. "I'll see you both next hour."

 Evan walked off and went into the library. He pulled out his laptop and started writing.

_Dear Evan Hansen,_

_Today is going to be a good day and here's why: today, you got yourself a boyfriend. Is it too soon to call him that? It might be. Okay, you're going out with a guy you really care about. That's better._

_You hooked Alana and Zoe up, that's great. Jared is starting to act like a real friend, even if he doesn't appreciate Connor all the way yet. Your day has been grand, let's keep it up!_

_SIncerely,_

_Me_

•Imma end it here so the people can choose what the date is about. What should the double date be? What should they do? Should Jared crash the party? Tell me your suggestions in the comments below!•

 "Please make it fun" Evan whispered. "Dating Zoe was an awkward experience for me back before this, and I want to enjoy myself, but I want the others to enjoy themselves too. Thank you!"

 •Make a great date for this innocent little twink!•

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Love yall❤"  
> •EVAN!•  
> "Sorry."  
> "Love y'all<3•


	5. All We See Is Sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'M GOING OUT WITH CONNOR!"  
> ∆DOUBLE DATE!∆

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ∆I'm changing my symbol to a triangle for a chapter.∆  
> "Good to know."  
> ∆Evan!∆  
> "Don't you dare!"  
> ∆GOOD FOR YOU! GOOD FOR YOU, YOU, YOU! GOT A TASTE OF A LIFE SO PERFECT-∆  
> "ENOUGH!"  
> ∆Enjoy my lovelies!∆

**All We See Is Sky**

Evan was nervous. Well, he was always nervous, but today it was more. Evan was piled in Connor Murphy's car with Zoe Murphy and Alana Beck. He was about to go out with Connor Murphy on a double date.

They had been driving for ages. Evan was starting to get restless in the passenger seat. Connor caught on and rest a hand on Evan's thigh. Evan's knee stopped bouncing and they continued the drive in peace.

 "We're here" Connor announced.

 "The orchard" Zoe questioned.

 "Yep" Connor nodded, popping the p.

The four climbed out and Connor hopped the fence. Evan glanced from his arm to the fence and frowned. Alana found a gate and beckoned for the other two to follow.

Connor lead the way to a grassy field and plopped down. Evan stretched out next to Connor with the girls a few yards away. Just enough so they could hold personal conversations but be in shouting distance.

 "I would have suggested a camp fire if this season hadn't been so dry" Connor mumbled.

 "I like it here" Evan smiled. "Trees, a field, it's great."

 Connor chuckled and grabbed his friends hand. Evan was starting to wish that the author could show this story to the readers without narrating every move he makes.

∆It's the only way!∆

 "Hey Ev" Connor mumbled.

 "Yeah" Evan responded, turning his head to face Connor.

 "Theres nowhere else I'd rather be" Connor smiled.

 "Me too" Evan chuckled, cringing internally at the fact that the author made them say those lines.

Did she forget that he remembered what happened before?

Connor suddenly shot up and dashed across the field. His long legs carried him far. Connor stopped on the other end of the field and turned back.

 "Follow me" Connor called.

Evan hopped up and ran across the field. Once Evan was closer, Connor walked behind a small grove of trees and sat on a fallen log. Evan sat to join him. The sky looked perfect.

∆Hence the title of the chapter.∆

Evan chanced leaning against Connor's shoulder. The taller teen just put a comforting hand in Evan's and intertwined their fingers. They say like that for a few minutes before walking back.

∆Evan smelt the smoke first. Evan looked up and saw a patch of grass up in flames. At the center of it all was Jared Kleinman, his body lit like a torch.

 "HOLY SHIT" Zoe screeched. " JARED, YOU'RE ON FIRE! "

 "Well then" Jared chuckled. "I guess you could say that I'm...smokin hot!"∆

"That's not what's happening" Evan mumbled.

∆I know, but a comment suggested that and I loved the idea so I had to include it.∆

 "What did you say Ev" Connor hummed.

 "I was talking to myself" Evan rushed. "Sorry."

"It's okay" Connor assured.

The pair finished walking back to the girls and Evan saw Connor's loving from when he saw Zoe curled up next to Alana. So he did care.

 "C'mon losers" Connor sighed. "By the time we get back it'll be dark."

 The four teens walked back to Connor's car and started the drive back home. They thankfully stopped for fast food on the way back. Connor was right, it was dark when the teens pulled into the school's parking lot. Alana and Zoe hopped out and drove off in Alana's car, since Connor was taking Evan home, and Alana drove past the Murphy house on her way home.

Connor was nice and walked Evan inside. Heidi was passed out on the couch, so they snuck past her to get upstairs and into Evan's room. Evan sat down on his bed and Connor sat next to him.

 "Thanks for today" Evan hummed. "I had fun."

 "No problem Ev" Connor nodded. "Thanks for pushing Alana into my sister earlier."

 Evan nodded awkwardly, looking down at his feet. Connor rested a hand on Evan's shoulder and the shorter boy perked up. When a pair of chapped lips pressed against his own, Evan instantly kissed back. The author made his crush on the taller boy grow more and more throughout the day.

 "Connor" Evan breathed, pulling their lips apart. "Maybe you don't have to leave yet if you text your mom."

 Connor seemed confused for a moment before everything dawned on him. Connor pulled out his phone and had a quick little talk with his mom over text before throwing his hoodie off. Connor's lips were back on Evan's in an instant. The slow and sweet kisses were driving Evan crazy.

 "Too bad we aren't ever completely alone" Evan grunted.

 "Who's here" Connor asked.

 "The voices in my head" Evan answered.

∆Oh.∆

 "Let's try to quiet them for awhile" Connor grinned.

∆Alright, fine. Have fun, I'll end it here. Bye! Be safe!∆

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ∆SO YOU DID WHATCHA HAD TO DO! GOOD FOR YOU!∆  
> "Please stop."  
> ∆Fine, Love y'all∆  
> "❤"  
> ∆Yay! He accepts the heart!∆


	6. Oh, That Actually Happened?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> •WHO NEEDS A SUMMARY?•

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •I don't even know what this is gonna be yet.
> 
> Enjoy my lovelies!•

**That Actually Happened?**

Evan woke up sensing a warmth next to him. Evan rolled closer to said warmth and wrapped his arms around it. Evan opened his eyes and Connor stared back.

 "Hey" Connor chuckled.

 "Hi" Evan squeaked. 

 "How are you" Connor murmured.

 "Good."

 •If you wanna catch Heidi before she leaves you need to get downstairs.•

 "Is it okay if we tell your mom" Connor asked.

 "Tell her what" Evan blanked.

 "About...whatever the hell this is" Connor sighed.

 "Uh, yeah" Evan nodded. "She's downstairs so...let's go."

The boys walked down the stairs and met Heidi in the kitchen. The mother beamed at the sight of Connor.

 "Hello" Heidi greeted, holding out her hand. "I'm Heidi, Evan's mom. It's so great to meet one of his friends."

 "Hi Ms. Hansen" Connor smiled, shaking the mother's hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Connor Murphy."

 "I hate to make this meeting brief but I have class" Heidi babbled. "Evan, don't burn down the house."

 •RICH SET A FIRE AND HE BURNED DOWN THE HOUSE! WOOOOOAHHH!•

 "I won't" Evan assured.

Heidi wrapped Evan in a hug before waking out the door. Evan went to grabbing a package of pop tarts for himself, and tossing one to Connor.

 •Evan, I'm bored with your life. Would you mind having a step brother?•

 "I don't care" Evan whispered.

 "What" Connor jumped.

 "Nothing" Evan sighed. "Talking to myself."

 Connor nodded and wrapped the shorter boy in a hug. Evan couldn't help but smile. Connor was alive, his life wasn't a mess, and no one hated him.

•And cue the newest characters.•

 Someone knocked on the and Evan answered. A man with a beard was on the other side. A lanky teen about Connor's height was behind him.

 "You must be Evan" the man smiled, he seemed kind. "I'm Joseph Heere and this is my son Jeremy."

 "Hi" Evan mumbled. "Why are you here, if you don't mind me asking."

 "I was hoping to catch Heidi before class" Joseph explained. "Did she leave?"

 "About five minutes ago actually" Evan answered, picking at his cast. "Sorry."

 "I'll catch her at work later" Joseph chuckled. "It was nice meeting you Evan."

 "You too" Evan nodded, closing the door.

Connor was on the phone when Evan came back. Evan avoided listening in and busier himself with watering his plants. They were his babies.

 "Ev" Connor called.

 "Hmm" Evan hummed, putting his watering can down.

 "I've gotta get home" Connor sighed. "I'll see you later, okay?"

 "Kay" Evan smiled. "Bye."

 "Bye" Connor grinned, planting a kiss on Evan's lips before leaving.

Evan finished watering his plants before combing his hair and deciding to head to the near by lake. Evan begged the author to stop writing for now and she happily obliged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •I'm so uninspired! I wanna do something wacky! What should happen at the lake? Make it the last thing anyone would think of! I'm talking crazy shit like Harry Potter crazy. Okay, not Harry Potter level, but you get the point.•  
> "Please don't kill me."  
> •Love y'all<3•


	7. Chuck You Cheese

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •Enjoy my lovelies!•

**Chuck You Cheese**

_(Beetletail, this is for you.)_

Evan sat down at the lake side and watched the water. If he couldn't hear all the narration it would have been silent. What Evan didn't expect was for Jeremy Heere and Connor to flip through the bushes. Evan jumped up and faced the boys.

 "Evan" Connor grinned. "What are you doing here?"

 "I went on a walk" Evan shrugged.

 "I'd like you to meet my second cousin Jeremy" Connor chuckled.

 "We already met Connor" Jeremy snorted. "This morning my dad brought me over. Something about a co-worker."

 "Damn, now I feel stupid" Connor cried.

 "How do you know Evan" Jeremy questioned.

Connor wrapped his arms around Evan and leaned against him.

 "Gotcha" Jeremy nodded. "Hey, Michael's sister is throwing a birthday party, wanna come?"

 "Let's go" Connor boomed. "To the car!"

 The three teens piled into Connor's car after exiting the forest. Jeremy plugged in the address and Connor drove off. When Evan first rode around with Connor Evan was scared of Connor possibly being a horrible driver. But Connor was actually very careful when it came to driving.

 "Jeremy" Connor sighed. "Are you sure this is the right place?"

 "Yep" Jeremy smiled. "Michael's car is right there."

 "Chucky Cheese" Evan blanked.

The three got out of the car and they walked into the building. Evan instantly felt like a kid. The lights and sounds. It was slightly sickening. Jeremy showed the Tree Bros to a table with a small family seated at it.

 "Hey Micha" Jeremy beamed.

 "Hi Jeremy" Michael greeted. "Connor, new guy, welcome to Claire's eleventh birthday party."

 "Hey Michael" Connor chuckled. "This is my boyfriend Evan."

 "Nice to meet you Michael" Evan smiled.

 "You too Evan" Michael laughed. "So...the party's almost over. do you wanna have some cake?"

 "Sure" Jeremy nodded.

 "Mom, pwede mo bang bigyan ako ng slice" Michael called to the woman next to him. "Ang aking mga kaibigan ay nakarating na dito."

The woman nodded and passed the cake over. Michael served the three boys and went to grab his sister. Claire came walking back with Michael and full on squealed at the sight of Jeremy.

 "Jeremy" Claire beamed. "Naiwan ako sa iyo nang labis! Si Michael ay hindi sasandal sa iyo!"

 "Shush" Michael hissed.

 "Claire doesn't speak English very well" Jeremy explained. "She understands the basics though."

 "But Michael understands" Evan blanked.

 "Claire is adopted" Michael added. "I was given a tutor at a young age. But we adopted Claire about four years ago. She adores Jeremy."

 "So" Evan drawled. "You don't shut up about Jeremy?"

 "You understood what she said" Michael gasped.

 "Filipino, German, ASL, and Irish" Evan shrugged. "It took me a bit to translate, but I got it."

 "It has to be a lucky guess" Jeremy protested.

 "Hindi ako naniniwala sa mga masuwerteng hula" Evan stated.

 "I don't believe in lucky guesses" Michael whispered.

 "This is awesome" Connor laughed.

 "Can I ask you somethimg" Jeremy hushed, voice directed at  Evan.

 "Shoot" Evan nodded.

 "What does Mahal kita mean" Jeremy whispered. "Michael won't tell me and I refuse to use Google Translate."

 "When does he say that" Evan questioned.

 "Usually he goes into a big rant about something and he says it a lot" Jeremy shrugged.

 "Umm" Evan sighed. "It means I love you."

 "I recorded last time" Jeremy muttered, pulling out his phone.

Jeremy placed his phone into Evan's hands while Connor distracted Michael. Jeremy hit play in the video and Michael's slightly panicked voice came out of the speakers.

 "Ayaw ko sayo kung hindi ko sasabihin sa iyo kung gaano ako kamahal mo. Hindi mo talaga alam dahil natatakot ako nang aminin ito. Jeremy, nasasaktan alam na hindi ko masasabi sa iyo kung magkano ang gusto kong hawakan ang iyong kamay at hindi kailanman ipaalam. Mahal kita. Jeremy Mahal kita mahal mo!"

 "I uh" Evan stumbled. "He basically...it's not my place to say."

 "Evan" Jeremy whined.

•I know I've been quiet all day, mainly because I've been  translating everything, but you should just talk to Michael.•

 "Hey Jere" Michael grinned. "Ev."

 "Michael" Evan sighed. "Tell Jeremy already. Being scared shouldn't be an issue."

 "I, uh...tonight" Michael mumbled. "I'll tell him tonight."

 "Deal" Evan nodded.

Connor walked back over and slung an arm around Evan's shoulder. Evan leaned closer to the other teen and watched Jeremy play with Claire. Michael was now picking at his red hoodie.

"I think we are gonna take off" Connor said. " Jere, you got a ride home? "

"I'll take him" Michael assured. "Thanks for stopping by guys."

Evan and Connor walked out of the building and went back to the car. Connor took a minute to run at his temples.

"It was so loud and crazy in there" Connor groaned. "Chucky Cheese? More like Fuck You Cheese."

"Seriously" Evan snorted, directing his voice to both Connor and the author. "Next thing you know they'll change the name to Chuck You Cheese."

 "That would be one awesome typo" Connor chuckled, driving back to Evan's neighborhood.

Evan spent the rest of the ride holding Connor's hand. The taller teen dropped Evan off at his home and drove off, pecking Evan on the cheek before leaving. Evan walked into the house and crashed down before closing his eyes to take a nap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •Love y'all<3•


	8. The Insanely Cool Jared Kleinman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> •Jared comes over.•

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •Enjoy my lovelies!•

**The Insanely Cool Jared Kleinman**

_(Wiesel inspired chapter)_

Evan opened the door for Jared. It has been a week since he had started dating Connor, and Evan much preferred this reality to his original one. Yes it was annoying having an author talk to you, but Becca helped him with his homework.

•I honestly just tell you where to find the answers.•

 "Jesus Evan" Jared sighed. "It feels like a barely talk to you. Doesn't it feel like the last week just flew by? Like some higher power just zipped us through to today?"

 "I feel like that all the time Jared" Evan mumbled. "What do you want to do?"

 "I dunno" Jared shrugged. "Mario Kart?"

 "Sure" Evan nodded.

The two friends played for an hour before Jared admitted defeat. Mario Kart was the one game that Evan never lost at.

 "Have you ever heard of the shortcuts in your phone" Jared asked.

 "Yeah" Evan snorted. "Who hasn't?"

 "I was just asking" Jared chuckled. "We should switch our shortcuts. It'll be fun."

 "Okay" Evan caved, handing Jared his cracked iPhone 5.

Jared handed off his own phone and Evan started changing the words. Jared kept laughing every few minutes and Evan furrowed his brows. He knew what to say to get revenge. After a few more minutes they handed the phones back to their owner.

 "Text Connor" Jared  commanded. "Just say hi."

 Evan scrolled through his  phone for Connor's contact, but he couldn't find it. He Did find one that made zero sense.

 "Did you change Connor's contact to Hot Topic" Evan frowned.

 "Maybe" Jared mumbled. "I'm gonna text my friend Jake."

 Evan clicked on his boyfriends contact and typed out the simple message "Hey Connor."

**Evan: Fucking Stoner.**

**Hot Topic: wat?**

**Evan: sexual Stoner.**

**Hot Topic: WHAT? EVAN, I'VE HEARD OF SOME CRAZY SHIT BUT THIS IS JUST WEIRD!**

**Evan: sexual, I'm very sexual.**

**Hot Topic: Ev, what  r u doing?**

**Evan: I don't potato.**

**Hot Topic: bb, who gave you drugs?**

**Evan: fuck me Alana gave me crack. Crack. D r u g s.**

**Hot Topic: umm...do I need 2 come over?**

**Evan: fuck me.**

**Evan: that not what I meant to Jewish.**

**Evan: don't come over. My dick is being weird.**

**Hot Topic: I'll be over in five.**

**Evan: please don't. The Insanely Cool Jared Kleinman messed with the hair on my dick.**

**Hot topic: I'm coming over.**

"JARED" Evan cried. "Now Connor thinks I'm high."

 "My phone is Is just nonsense" Jared chuckled. "Look."

**JK: Potato Jake.**

**JD: Are you okay?**

**Jk: My sniffer Evan changed the bubbles on my phone.**

**JD: shortcuts?**

**JK: yass the bubbles.**

**JD: welp, that's good.**

**JK: peanut help.**

**JD: This dude didn't take my risks.**

**JK: IKR! Honestly it's probably because he goes to suck dick every weekend.**

**JD: I don't think that is a good thing.**

**JK: I meant T e m p l e. Not temple. Temple. Suck dick.**

**JD: g2g jk, Rich just got here. Later.**

**JK: coconuts!**

"Alright, what the hell is going on" Connor muttered, walking through the door.

 "We changed the shortcuts on our phones" Evan explained.

 "Seriously" Connor groaned. "I thought Jared drugged you."

 "Oh man" Jared snorted. "This is awesome. How bad did it get?"

 Evan showed Jared his phone and Jared burst into laughter. Evan reset all the shortcuts on his phone and Jared did the same. Connor ended up staying for lunch with the two and all was well.

•Now for Evan's key.

Fucking: Hey

Stoner: Connor

Sexual: Sorry

Potato: Know

Fuck me: No

Alana: One

Crack: Drugs

Jewish: Send

Dick: Phone

The Insanely Cool Jared Kleinman: Jared

Hair: shortcuts•

"Don't forget about Jared" Evan whispered.

"What" Connor hummed.

"Nothing" Evan assured.

•Jared has a key too.

Potato: Hi

Sniffer: friend

Bubbles: shortcuts

Peanut: please

Suck dick: Temple

Temple: Suck dick

Coconuts: Bye•

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •Givce me suggestions for the next chapter. That's how I've been writing the past two.•  
> "Just make it reasonable."  
> •Love y'all•  
> "❤"


	9. Found Tonight

**Found Tonight**

_(I_read_fanfics & Thebananathatwrites inspired chapter)_

Evan was mad, not at anyone in particular...but her name is Becca and she is literally controlling his whole life. All Evan wants is to enjoy his life, not jump around like some idiot in a magic phone booth.

•Geez, I gave your mom a boyfriend, and possibly the future of having a brother.•

”But that means that her free time is spent with him and not me” Evan whined, keeping away from the group.

It was a huge picnic. Heidi, Joseph, Jeremy, Connor, Michael, and Evan were at a park in town. Evan had walked away to take time to talk with the author.

•Just try to enjoy yourself. I set up this situation for you all to get to know each other.•

”Whatever” Evan muttered. “Just...get out of my head for ten minutes.”

Becca silenced as best as she could while Evan walked back to his group. Michael and Jeremy were playing catch with a frisbee while Connor lounged in the grass near by. Heidi and Joseph were talking while they prepared lunch for everyone.

”Can you not narrate” Evan hissed.

•How else will readers know what’s happening?•

”I DONT CARE” Evan whisper yelled.

Jeremy caught the frisbee and stared at Evan. The teen waved before plopping down next to Connor.

”Hey babe” Connor smiled, planting a kiss on his cheek. “What’s wrong?”

”The voices in my head don’t ever shut up” Evan growled.

”Is it like an actual person is talking to you” Michael asked, walking over. “Telling you what to do? Controlling you?”

”Kinda” Evan groaned. “It’s like the voice wants to improve my life, but it gets annoying hearing a voice all the time.”

”Michael” Jeremy cried. “Get him.”

Before Evan could blink Michael tackeled him. Connor was froze in shock. Evan felt something being forced down his throat and Evan coughed on the ground.

”What are you doing” Joseph called.

”He got Squipped” Jeremy shouted.

”What the hell is a Squip” Heidi demanded, walking over with her boyfriend.

”Super Quantum Unit Intel Processer” Evan hacked. “And no Jeremy, I don’t have one or want one.”

”How do you know about them” Michael squeaked. “There isn’t anything about them on the internet.”

”I’ve just heard of them” Evan muttered. “Jeremy had one, I know. Honestly, why would I want one? I just have anxiety, I’m not desperate like that. Where would I even get one? We’re in New Jersey!”

“At Payless in the mall” Jeremy and Michael stated.

”I don’t go shopping” Evan frowned.

”Dear god” Heidi groaned. “Just...don’t do drugs. Connor, can you help me finish up?”

Connor dashed after Heidi and Michael pulled Evan away, Jeremy in a tow.

”There is no way you just heard of a Squip” Michael frowned. “It almost destroyed our school.”

”Maybe all of human civilization” Jeremy added. “Tell us the truth.”

”Ugh, you’ll think I’m a nut case” Evan sighed. “But okay. Our whole world, everything that’s happened. It’s all fake. This whole world is one of many, it’s a fan fiction. You two are from a musical called Be More Chill, I’m from a musical called Dear Evan Hansen. It’s killing me that I’m the only one who can hear the author.”

•It’s not like this will change anything Ev.•

”What the hell” Jeremy whispered.

”WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO US” Michael sobbed.

•Oh, nevermind it worked. Hello Jeremy, Michael, I’m Becca. Welcome to being self aware in a fan fiction.•

”Hi” both boys called.

”How does the musical end” Jeremy questioned.

•The Squip is defeated and Jeremy gets together with Christine. But almost everyone shipped Boyf Riends. So, you got together in my story.”

“I’m gonna need a moment” Michael whispered.

”Yeah” Jeremy nodded.

Evan watched the two walk away. Evan didn’t know what to think.

”I’d it always going to be that easy” Evan murmured.

•I dunno.•

”Think we should end the chapter here?”

•Meh, maybe?•

”Let’s just do it.”

•Welp, at least you aren’t alone anymore.•

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •Please leave suggestions for the next chapter!•  
> “Love y’all”  
> •<3•


	10. Not Alone

**Not Alone**

Evan, Jeremy, and Michael walked into the Hansen house. It had been a few days since Jeremy and Michael became self aware, and Evan enjoyed not being alone.

”Hey Becca” Jeremy called.

”Ms. Biscuit Baker” Michael greeted.

”The author I’ve been stuck with for a month” Evan chuckled.

•It’s only been ten executive days for me.•

”Wow” Michael laughed. “This month really flew by.”

•Yeah, but Evan already went through this once. If anything it’s slow for him.•

”Any ideas for the chapter” Jeremy asked.

•Didn’t get any suggestions in the comments. You guys can do it for once.•

”How about we sing a lyric from a song” Michael shrugged. “And we guess the song?”

”Sure” the other boys nodded.

•I’m listening.•

”Michael can start” Evan offered.

“Free from my folks enslavement” Michael hummed. “Skippin along the pavement.”

”Cecily Smith” Evan shouted.

•Now Evan go!•

“Mouth is numb” Evan hummed. “Heart don’t know what to say.”

”The Goodbye Song” Jeremy squeaked. “George Salazar!”

•Correct! George actually plays Michael in the original Broadway cast and he’s back for off Broadway.•

”Awesome” Michael beamed. 

“I look into these eyes” Jeremy belted out. “And I don’t recognize.”

•MAN OR A MUPPET!•

”You literally choose what we say, obviously you knew what it was” Michael recalled.

•Guys, this chapter probably doesn’t even have 200 words and I’m already done with this.•

”PEOPLE, PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS SO OUR LIVES ARENT BORING” Evan shouted.

”Who played me on Broadway” Jeremy asked.

•Will Connolly. But this summer, because it’s summer where I live right now, it’s gonna be Will Roland and I am PUMPED! I’m not going to it cause I’m broke and I don’t live in New York, but I’m hoping that someone films a bootleg. Some idiot can do that and post it online for me to find.•

”That illegal” Evan muttered.

•PIPE IT BEN PLATT! You were honest to god played by Ben Platt, the guy who watches a Wicked bootleg every day.•

”Who played Connor” Evan hummed.

•Mike Faist. Jared was played by Will Roland I believe for the whole Broadway run. Heidi was Rachel Bay Jones, Zoe was Laura Dreyfuss, she just had her last show recently actually. I think it was last week.•

”What about our show” Jeremy asked.

•Umm...give me a second. I’ll be back. Brooke is Lauren Marcus, Chloe is Katlyn Carlson, Christine is Stephanie Hsu, Squip is Eric William Morris, Jake is Jake Boyd, Rich is Gerard Canonico, Jenna is Katie Ladner, and your dad was played by Paul Whitty.•

”How much of that did you Google” Michael laughed.

•Most of it.•

”I’m bored” Evan sighed.

•Yeah, the chapter is over.•

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •The boy’s will respond to comments with me. I’m giving a key quickly.•  
> ~Jeremy.~  
> +Michael.+  
> “Evan.”  
> •And me. Okay, please leave suggestions!•  
> “Love y’all”  
> •<3•


	11. Powers and Cookies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •Enjoy.•

(thebananathatwrites _inspired chapter)_

**Powers and Cookies**

“What does that mean” Evan groaned.

•I dunno, why are you walking into a radioactive lake?•

“What do you mean I’m-HOLY SHIT!”

After Evan was fully submerged the author teleported him home. With a snap of her fingers Evan was clean of the green sludge and Michael walked through the door with a shaking Jeremy.

“We just walked into a radioactive lake against our will” Michael cried.

The author snapped her fingers again and they were cleaned. Jeremy still wouldn’t stop shaking.

“I’m still gonna go wash my hands.”

Jeremy took a step forward and was out of sight.

“Jeremy” Michael called.

“Walls hurt” Jeremy groaned.

“So now we have powers” Evan muttered. “Fantastic. Jeremy has super speed, what does everyone else have?”

“Umm” Michael blanked. “Ev, the couch is floating.”

Evan turned around and he lowered the couch. Telekinesis. That left Michael.

“Do I really want to know” Michael frowned.

•You shrink down to the size of an ant. In honor of Antman and the Wasp, because the movie is so good and I saw it yesterday.•

As the author spoke Michael shrunk down.

“This sucks” Michael yelled, growing back up.

“I promised Christine that I’d make cookies for a fund raiser” Jeremy muttered. “Can you guys help?”

“We get powers and that’s the first thing you think about” Evan groaned. “Fine.”

•Once you finish the cookies I’ll give you full control of your powers.•

“Let’s go” Michael cried.

The three teens walked, they dragged Jeremy, into the kitchen. Michael pulled up a cookie recipe and they got to work.

“Jeremy” Michael called. “Grab everything on the list.

Jeremy zoomed around the kitchen and returned with what was listed. Evan went to making the batter while Michael preheated the oven.

“You have brownie mix” Jeremy noted. “Can we make those for us?”

“Sure” Evan sighed.

The trio went to making their batter while Jeremy searched for pans. Michael went to spooning cookies on the cookie sheet while Evan poured brownie batter into the cake pan. That’s when Michael shrunk down again.

“Ah come on” Michael whined.

“Oh boy” Evan groaned, watching the bowls float up. “Jeremy, catch them.” 

“Got it” Jeremy grinned.

It took five minutes but they resolved their out of control powers. Then Zoe had to show up.

“Zoe, what are you doing here” Jeremy asked.

“Connor is grounded from his phone and is grounded to the house, so I’m delivering a note to Evan” Zoe explained. “It’s good to see you Jeremy.”

Evan accepted the letter from Zoe and went back to his brownies. Zoe didn’t want to leave though, she sat and watched them work.

“Yes” Evan hummed.

“Connor needs a response” Zoe explained.

“Okay” Evan nodded.

Evan ripped open the letter and started reading.

_Dear Evan Hansen,_

_Okay, I’m scared. I keep having dreams where I’m dead. And...you weren’t friends with me. So you just made up this big lie about us being friends and you ended up dating Zoe. You wrote fake emails and everything went to shit. You started a support program and it was crazy popular. It feels like memories, and then I think about how you somehow saved me from killing myself on the first day of school. It’s like you knew I needed the help. You knew I needed a friend._

_Sorry for ranting but I have to ask. Is this all some crazy dream? Why do I feel like someone is controlling me? Is anything real? What’s happening?_

_Sincerely,_

_Me_

“Oh, I’ll be right back” Evan whispered.

_Dear Connor Murphy,_

_You aren’t crazy. Someone is controlling you, her name is Becca and she did all of this. It makes me feel horrible, knowing that she does this all. But, she saved you. I’m the only one who remembers the world before this, except you I guess. Lying was he worst thing in the world, but I physically couldn’t tell you. Believe me, I tried._

_I guess Becca is letting me now, she’s letting me talk. I’m sorry for lying. I’m sorry for what happened before. So, I’m gonna stop writing, give Zoe the letter, and leave you alone because Becca gave Jeremy, Michael, and me powers and we have to bake cookies to have control over them. It’s fucked up, I know._

_Im sorry and I love you, the real you not the one I made up._

_Sincerely,_

_Me_

Evan grabbed an envolope and sealed it before handing it to Zoe. Zoe left with a smile and Evan went back to the others.

“We heard your internal dialogue” Michael sighed. “Kinda has to.”

“He’s gonna hate me” Evan groaned, putting his head down on the counter.

•Okay, you guys can control your powers. If you don’t want them, take the rings off.•

“What rings...oh when did those get there” Jeremy chuckled, taking off his ring.

The other two boys removed their rings and put them into the box that had appeared on the counter.

•You can put them back on at any time.•

“How do we know who’s ring is who’s” Michael asked.

•The stones in the center. Evan’s is light blue, Michael’s is red, and Jeremy’s is purple.”

“You wanted it to be the bisexual flag colors but I love red more” Michael snorted.

•Sue me, I’m ace as it is, I’m just supporting others. Screw it, you each get your own box. They're in your pockets.•

“Cookies and Brownies are done” Jeremy beamed.

Evan grabbed cooling trays and the other two pulled out the pans. Thankfully, nothing was burnt. Jeremy had two dozen cookies and they had a pan of brownies.

“We have to get going” Jeremy muttered, looking at his phone. “My dad needs us to help him go pants shopping.”

“Bye” Evan waved. “Come get the cookies tomorrow.”

Once the pair were gone Evan crashed down on the couch. He was ruined. It was like the first time, but worse because no one was dead and Evan actually knew Connor.

Someone banged in the door and Evan opened up the door. An out of breath Connor was standing on his deck.

“Did you run here” Evan gasped.

“Yeah” Connor panted. “I’m grounded, so it was the only way. Can I come in?”

Evan just nodded. Connor walked into the house and closed the door behind them.

“I really wanted to be mad” Connor muttered, pulling out the letter. “But I’m not. And I don’t know if it’s because Becca is making me not be mad, or because I just can’t be.”

•I left that to him.•

“What the shit was that” Connor hissed.

“That’s Becca” Evan explained. “Get used to her voice, she’s always there.”

“That’s terrifying” Connor chuckled.

“I’m sorry that I lied to you Connor” Evan whispered. “I was stupid to try and hide our literal existance from you. You don’t have to forgive me I just needed to tell you that I hate knowing that our lives aren’t going how they were supposed to and-”

“Shut the hell up Hansen” Connor shushed.

Evan stopped talking. He didn’t know what to do.

•YOU GUYS HAVE THE SEXUAL TENSION OF A TRUCK! STOP TALKING AND MAKE OUT!•

Connor just shrugged. Evan stepped forward and held out his arms. Connor stepped into the hug and squeezed Evan.

“If you apologize I swear I’m gonna punch you in your perfect teeth” Connor warned.

“You’ll have to shut me up” Evan smirked.

“Asshole” Connor smiled, pulling Evan forward.

Evan closed the space between them and ran his hands through Connor’s hair. Connor hummed and dug his fingers into Evan’s sides.

“Evan, I’m home” Heidi called. “I was thinking taco-oh shit! Sorry! Do you need condoms?”

“Mom” Evan squeaked. “No! We are going upstairs, and we are going to talk. And leave the door open.”

Evan pulled Connor upstairs behind him.

“Heidi, can I stay for dinner” Connor called.

“Sure thing” Heidi hummed.

Evan yanked Connor into his room and sat him down on his bed.

“Do you enjoy torchering me” Evan whined.

•Your mom is supportive. Be happy.•

“I love your mom” Connor laughed. “She’s awesome.”

Evan groaned and threw himself onto his bed. Connor laughed and laid next to him.

“I love you Evan” Connor grinned.

“I love you too” Evan sighed, rolling into Connor’s shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •Guys, Connor can answer comments and stuff now!•  
> +Cool.+  
> ~Nice.~  
> “Yay!”  
> ^Is it really that exciting? I mean, more people will eventually join. What does it matter?^  
> “Don’t get me started!”  
> •Love y’all<3•  
> ^Thats a stupid ending.^  
> “Exactly!”


	12. New York Baby

_****(Wiesel and I_read_fanfics inspired chapter)_

**New York Baby**

”Get in loser” Connor called. “We’re going shopping!”

“Bye Mom” Evan yelled, running out the door.

Evan plopped down in the passenger seat of Connor’s car and pecked his cheek.

“Hey Evan” Jeremy greeted. 

“Sup acorn” Michael nodded. 

“Hi guys” Evan smiled. “Hello Connor.” 

“Hi” Connor yawned. “Becca is here, right?”

•Sup bitches.• 

“New York here we come” Michael grinned. “I made a mixtape for the road!”

Evan accepted the CD from Michael and put it into the player. The music weirdly played while they talked.

•A comment asked me to do a Q and A of sorts. So, before you can enjoy the trip, I have some questions. First, describe yourself in one word.• 

“Ocean” Jeremy muttered. 

“Shadow” Evan sighed. 

“Nerd” Michael smirked. 

“Angst” Connor stated. “Seriously, just fuck me gently with a chainsaw.” 

•Okay. Same order for answers, what is your spirit animal?• 

“Lizard.” 

“Emu.” 

“Parrot.” 

“Chinchilla.”

•What the fuck Connor. Favorite food?• 

“Ice cream.” 

“Hot pockets.” 

“Somebody toucha my spaghet!” 

“Cooked carrots, fuck off.”

•I’m loving this. Favorite color.• 

“White, it’s so clean.” 

“Blue, does that surprise anyone?” 

“Rainbow.” 

“I really like pale pink.” 

•Favorite vine?• 

“A potato flew around my room before you came. AHHHHHH!” 

“What the fuck Richard?” 

“I LOVE SUCKING DICK! I LOVE SUCKING DICK!” 

“Road work ahead? Uh, yeah I sure hope it does.”

•Oh lord! Okay umm...favorite video game?• 

“Apocalypse of the Damned.” 

“Mario Kart.” 

“Pac-Man.” 

“The Sims Three. Espically the X-Box version.”

•Connor, I’m learning so much about you right now. Favorite song from your respective musical. I’ve forced you to listen to the soundtracks so don’t lie.• 

“Shit dude. Umm...god I don’t know...The Pants Song?” 

“Everything is so depressing in our musical. Ugh, how about Good For You.” 

“If Upgrade didn’t make me cry I’d say that I love it. More Than Survive, since Upgrade makes me cry.” 

“If I Could Tell Her. I love pointing out all the bullshit in the song. And after that, ‘YOU WHAT?’ ‘Okay it just happened.’ ‘I can’t believe you tried to kiss Zoe Murphy on her brothers bed. After he  _died_.’ God that still makes me laugh.”

•I’m sorry but I would pay actual money and my non existing soul to have a properly recorded version of the Sincerely Me reprise. Just saying.• 

“I’ve never heard that” Michael snorted. 

“It’s a blessing if you haven’t” Evan shuddered.

**[•You’re Welcome•](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7AiX_-jfawY) **

“What the fuck was that” Jeremy howled. 

“Hehehehehehe” Michael laughed. “Thank god we don’t have anything like that on us!”

**[•That’s What You Think Michael•](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=enDt2esCdB8&index=9&list=LLTCeAD1LlZhK92_ZKgEcV-A) **

”WHAT” Evan screeched. 

“I’m trying to drive” Connor muttered. “Please stop playing videos in my face.”

•Sorry Connor.• 

“Michael, pass me the fruit snacks” Jeremy cried. 

“We even got the Scooby Doo ones” Michael chuckled.

Everyone passed around the snacks and they finished the trip to the city. They had agreed to share one hotel room and split paying for it. Connor checked them in and they ran up to their room. 

“Will we be in New York next chapter” Jeremy asked.

•If the comments want you to be in New York.• 

“Some dude is staring at me” Evan whispered, watching through the window.

•That’s my friend Adam. They are in New York right now. Wave to them.• 

Evan hastily waved through the window before turning away. The others were unpacking. 

“This guy at the back of the mall gave me fake a fake ID” Michael grinned.

Connor took the fake card and snapped it in half. Michael was going to protest but the author silenced him. 

“Becca, what’s your favorite vine” Connor asked.

•Hi, my name is Chelsi, what’s your favorite dinner food?• 

“I respect that” Michael stated. 

“We should sneak into a bar” Jeremy sighed. “Just to try it. See what happens. I’ll even play sober friend for the night.” 

“I’m in” Evan shrugged. 

“You drink” Connor gasped. 

“I once downed a whole bottle of vodka. My mom wasn’t even mad. She just shrugged and was like, well now you know. I’ve never been the same since. I’ve been told that I’m a hilarious drunk.” 

“We need to see this” Michael laughed. “Let’s go.”

It was surprisingly easy to get into a bar. No one questioned their age or anything. Three hours later Evan was well drunk and Jeremy was paying their tab. Connor was a little tipsy, but nothing near Evan’s drunk ass. Michael ended up getting stoned in the corner and not drinking.

Thankfully Becca teleported them all back to their hotel room. Michael flopped down on his bed and kept babbling about stars while Evan and Connor ended up cuddling on their bed. Jeremy filmed about ten minutes of the nonsense before flopping down into bed with Michael and going to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •New York part two?•  
> ~I wouldn’t mind it, but it’s up to you.~  
> •Love y’all<3•


	13. New York Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •Just gonna day it now. Sorry for not posting yesterday, I was traveling and today I started dance. I hurt.•

_(I_read_fanfics inspired chapter)_

**New York Part Two**

Evan woke with a raging hangover. He didn’t remember anything from the night prior. He was thankful for the painkillers left for him on the bedside table.

“Do you have to narrate so early in the morning” Evan groaned. 

•Fuck off. I’m sore.• 

“And I’m up” Connor sighed. “Where are Jeremy and Michael?” 

“Michael makes an entrance” Michael sang, bursting through the door with Jeremy. “We bought donuts.” 

The other boys were handed a donut and they slowly got out of bed. Jeremy burst out laughing when Evan rolled onto the floor. 

“So, I was thinking we split up for sight seeing” Connor yawned. “Jeremy take Evan, I’ll take Michael.” 

“You make us sound like children” Evan pouted. 

“You’re the one who’s on the floor wrapped in blankets” Connor noted. 

“Okay, yeah” Evan caved. “Let’s get ready.” 

So Connor and Evan jumped around getting ready. Jeremy pulled a slightly hungover Evan down the streets of New York while Connor and Michael did god knows what. 

“Wadda you want to do” Evan hummed. 

“We’re going to see Lady frickin Liberty” Jeremy announced. “Let’s go.” 

Of course Michael and Connor had the same plans. They bumped into each other on the ferry ride. 

“Hi” Evan snorted. 

“Hey tree boy” Connor sighed, pecking his cheek. “What do you remember about last night?” 

“Nothing after my fifth drink” Evan chuckled. “But I’m kinda sore, do I want to know why?” 

“We fucked in a bathroom” Connor shrugged. “You’re an idiot when you’re drunk.” 

“Okay” Evan nodded. 

“How dare you get my son drunk” an annoying voice cried. 

“Kleinman” Connor blanked. “What the hell dude. I said to not bother us.” 

“It’s not my fault you guys ignore me” Jared whined. “I’ve been feeling fuzzy and the only way it stops is when I’m around Evan. Why do I feel fuzzy? And why am I getting these dreams where Connor is dead? It’s scaring me.” 

•Fuck it, just tell him.• 

“Our whole reality is fake” Connor stated. “Nothing is real. I could die right now and come back a second later like nothing happened. Believe me, I just found out a week ago. Not fun, knowing that your boyfriend saved you from dying because of I die then some messed up shit happens like Evan dating my sister.” 

“What are you on Murphy” Jared scoffed. “This is some next level drugs.” 

•Ugh, he isn’t even kidding.• 

“Seriously, What’s up with you” Jared demanded. 

•Holy shit...he can’t hear me.•

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •IM SORRY THIS IS SHORT! WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH JARED? TELL ME PLEASE!•


	14. New York Part Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> •IM SHOOKETH! Not really, I just wanted to write that.•

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •Enjoy, if you can.•

**New York Part Three**

_(Thebananathatwrites insisted chapter)_

The group managed not to freak out on the trip to Lady Liberty. Michael looked about ready to pass out. Evan didn’t blame him, Jared didn’t believe them. They somehow ended up at 54 Below and Evan felt concerned. 

“So, you guys are on some next level drugs” Jared hummed. 

“We are mere characters in a fictional world” Connor stated. “Anything is possible.” 

“Prove it” Jared snorted. “Where is this author you speak of.”

•RIGHT HERE BITCH!•

All four boys flinched at the shouting. Jared gave them a look and walked inside.

“Becca” Connor called. “Give Jared hell.”

Becca gladly complied. Taking to the comments for answers, she teleported Jared to the stage and dressed him in a rainbow tutu, a fruit hat, a shirt that read “The Gay Agenda,” and thigh high red shimmery boots with huge heels. 

“Now there’s a lot of stupid shit that hits the internet” Jared sang. “But if it’s funny or embarrassing then you can bet that it goes viral. That shit goes viral.

When a cat can play piano or a fat girl falls then your friends are gonna share it on their Facebook walls and its viral. Fuckin viral.

Once your letter first gets tweeted that shit never gets deleted. One kid clicks, then two, then six. And oh you know!

It’s goin viral, viral. You’ll be an internet celebrity! Cause it’ll spread like fuckin HPV! Now everybody knows your shit! It’s goin viral, viral! You’ll be the poster boy for gay and lame! So either kill yourself or change your name! Cause it’s goin viral, viral, viral!

You’ll see it blowin up on YouTube as a hip-hop song. And every soccer mom in Omaha will sing along cause it’s viral. It’s v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-viral! 

Trust me dude that shit will linger, worse than Charlie bit my finger! Just sit back and watch this fucker grow, grow, grow!

Its goin viral, viral! You’re poppin up on every laptop screen! And kids will dress like you for Halloween! Khakis and those fuckin shoes! It’s goin viral, viral! I’ll get to say I know the YouTube star! That people laugh about in Kandahar! Cause it’s goin viral, viral, viral!

It’s worse every day, it’s never ending! You flee to Bombay, and still you’re trending! You climb a mountain and you find a guru! And he promises that he’ll be the new you! But one night lying in your bunk, you lock eyes with another monk! He looks at you with peircing eyes, and then you see him recognize! You wonder what he’s gonna do! He calls the gurus in with you! He pulls his phone out, and it’s back again! 

Dear Evan Hansen, it turns out that I’m a huge loser and my life is an unforgiving nightmare that will seemingly never end! 

That shot went viral, viral! It’s like a cyber Hell you can’t escape! Where every gang is up for cyber rape! Your life’s gonna spiral, spiral! When it goes viral, viral, viral! YOU ARE FUCKED!”

Jared walked off the stage and Becca teleported the five back to their hotel room. Jared was back in his normal clothes and shaking with growing intensity. 

“Believe us yet” Michael asked. 

“I-I just sang a song against my will” Jared whispered. “In the gayest outfit ever, what the hell was that? What was that song?” 

•Goin Viral. A cut song from the Dear Evan Hansen sound track.• 

“WHAT THE FUCK” Jared screamed. 

•Sup loser. I’m Becca the Biscuit Baker. I am basically your god, but I’m not religious so you don’t have to worship me or anything. Sorry for the inconvenience, I had to convince you somehow.• 

“You sound like Korg” Jeremy snorted. “Hi I’m Korg, I’m kinda the leader around here. I’m made of rocks as you can see. But don’t be afraid, unless you’re a pair of scissors. Just a Little Rock Paper Scissors joke for you.” 

“So this hoe has been following you around for god knows how long” Jared squeaked. 

“That’s mean” Evan frowned. “She creates us. Look, it’s a long story, I’m sorry that we didn’t tell you, but she kinda just lets people find out. We don’t directly tell anyone.” 

“You told us” Michael recalled. 

“Because you thought a super computer was in my brain” Evan retorted. 

“Just get to the story” Jared groaned. “I’ve gotta get back home tonight still.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •Now I have to Welcome Jared as a commentator...comment answerer? I don’t know. Leave comments for next chapter, I’m willing to do a part four for New York, but no more than that. I need suggestions so it would be greatly appreciated.•  
> “Evan.”  
> ^Connor.^  
> ~Jeremy.~  
> +Michael.+  
> #Jared.#


	15. Be More Clam

**Be More Calm**

_(I_read_fanfics inspired chapter)_

Evan and Connor pulled up to Jared’s house five minutes late. They were late because Connor didn’t want to come, but Evan forced him to get out of bed. 

“Do we just...not go to school now” Connor asked. “I honestly think the last time I remember being at school was the day Evan asked me out.” 

•You do...but I only write it in when it’s important to the plot. Oh, I started a group of one shots where Evan is a vampire.• 

“WHAT” Evan cried. 

•Chill out. You are actually cool. A lot of comments said that you’re badass. Then you’ve got Connor who is all soft and shit. I dont regret my choices.• 

“Whatever, Let’s just get this over with” Connor muttered. 

The pair walked into the house and Evan showed Connor to the basement. Jared was sitting on the couch with Jeremy and Michael curled up on the floor. 

“You’re HEERE” Michael snorted. 

“He’s a little high” Jeremy explained. 

“Fuck you I’m five eleven” Michael frowned. 

“He’s really high” Jeremy sighed. 

•Hey fuckers!• 

“Everyone please be seated” Jared commanded. “Becca, I assume you’re sitting?” 

•No shit I’m sitting.• 

“Author and gentlemen” Jared boomed. “May I present...THE MATRIX!” 

“What” Michael blanked, his high vanishing with a snap from the authors fingers. “Jerm?” 

“I’ll be okay” Jeremy whispered. 

The movie started and everyone got comfortable. After ten minutes Jeremy shot up and left. 

“Heere” Jared called. “Come back Heere!” 

“I have to pee, give me some space” Jeremy cried, voice cracking. 

“He’s gonna have a panic attack” Michael sighed. “I’ll be back.” 

Jared decided to pause the movie and go after them. Connor muttered to himself and followed with Evan in a tow. As said, Jeremy was curled up in a ball while sitting against the kitchen wall. 

“It’s been a whole year” Jeremy sniffed. “God damn it!” 

“Chill out Jere” Michael whispered. Then he realized his mistake as Jeremy curled into a tighter ball. “Fuck, wrong word. Just...deep breaths Jere-Bear.” 

Once Jeremy was calm again they all returned to the basement. Jeremy leaned into Michael a bit more than before his freak out. 

“Can I ask what the hell that was for” Jared groaned. 

“I’m scared of Keanu Reeves” Jeremy whispered. “I had this super computer inside my brain called a Squip, and my Squip looked like him. The Squip tried to destroy my whole school...maybe all of human civilization. It made me hate myself, it physically blocked Michael from my life, optic nerve blocking isn’t cool, and it’s goal was to hook me up with a girl that I didn’t know.” 

“That’s bullshit” Jared snorted. 

**[•That’s not cool Jared!•](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_qiMcu_pe4) **

”WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT” Jared screamed. 

“A song from the BMC musical” Michael sighed. “I’m surprised you haven’t heard it yet. Becca told you that we are all from musicals. Jeremy has a form of PTSD if you will. But not really.” 

“Sometimes I still hear his voice” Heremy mumbled. 

“Why did you want a Squip” Jared asked.

**[•Because this!•](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YazYbBjf7vo) **

”Can you stop” Connor muttered. 

•Sorry.• 

“Can we please just not watch this movie” Jeremy sighed. “Or any movie with Keanu.” 

“Sure” Jared nodded. 

So they spent the evening watching Disney classics instead. And if Jared was forced to listen to both the BMC and the DEH soundtracks, who would have known better?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #lol give us suggestions for our lives.#  
> •Love y’all<3•


	16. Out of Print Games

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: @beccathebiscuitbaker
> 
> Ask me shit about fan fiction

_(I_read_fanfics inspired chapter)_

**Out of Print Games**

Evan had to admit, having a friend group was amazing. It was the day after the movie night. Michael had invited the the rest of the aware to his house. Something about video games. Evan really didn’t care. 

Heidi was the one to drop Evan off that night. Connor got his car privileges taken away because he hadn’t told his mother that he was staying the night at Jared’s. But when Evan walked inside, Connor was already playing a game with Jared. He had never seen them get along. 

“Prepare yourself Murphy” Jared cackled. “Final boss coming up.” 

“No shit Kleinman” Connor responded. 

“Hey Connor” Evan hummed, planting a kiss on his head. “Hi Jared.” 

Evan felt something grab his arm and in a blink he was in the Mell kitchen. Jeremy released his arm and ran off again. He had his ring on. 

“Are we all using them tonight” Evan asked. 

“Might as well” Michael shrugged, slipping on his own ring. 

Evan followed suit and floated around the room. He now could use his powers to lift himself off the ground, simulating flying. 

“Why didn’t we bring these to New York” Jeremy chuckled. “Becca could have made us suits and we would have been so badass.” 

•You mean conjured. I wouldn’t make them, they would appear.• 

“Yeah, that” Jeremy nodded. “I’m hyper.” 

“You drank three bottles of Crystal Pepsi in two minutes” Michael snorted. “You should be.”

“Michael, kami ay umalis na ngayon. Magpakasaya sa iyong mga kaibigan!” Mrs. Mell shouted. 

“Bye mom, magkaroon ng isang magandang gabi” Michael called back. 

Mrs. Mell walked into the room and smiled at Evan. He had yet to meet her properly. 

“Hello dear, ako si Eliza, ina ni Michael” Mrs. Mell grinned. 

“Hi Mrs. Mell, ako si Evan, kaibigan ni Michael” Evan smiled. 

Mrs. Mell seemed taken aback. But the woman chuckled and embraced Evan before walking out of the kitchen. 

“Gusto ko sa kanya Michael, hindi namin kailangang isalin sa kanya” Mrs. Mell chuckled. 

“What did she just say” Jeremy asked. 

“She said that she likes that I don’t have to have everything translated” Evan explained. 

“Can you say something in German” Jeremy begged. “Get Jared in on it too.” 

“What are they playing” Evan mumbled. 

“Donkey Kong Jr.” Michael smirked. “Now go be German.” 

Evan rolled his eyes and walked into the living room. The two had paused their game for a snack break. Perfect timing. 

“Jared, erzähl mir etwas auf Deutsch” Evan yawned. 

“Ich hasse es, wie gut Connor in diesem Spiel ist” Jared grumbled. 

“Das ist nicht meine Schuld” Evan laughed. “Okay, I’m done with the German.” 

“LETS PLAY SOME OUT OF PRINT GAMES” Michael shouted. 

“Retro skates” Jeremy added. 

“Gotta Pac-Man tattoo” the pair sang. 

“Where are those tattoos I’ve heard about” Connor hummed. 

Jeremy and Michael rolled up their sleeves and sure enough, there were ghosts from Pac-Man on their shoulders. Michael had Blinky and Jeremy had Inky. 

“We got these Freshman year” Jeremy sighed. “We thought we were so cool after that, but our parents were pissed. Thankfully, they never got removed.” 

“Back to the games” Connor drawled. “Evan, play something.” 

Evan reluctantly sat down and picked up a random game. Super Mario Bros. Three. Jeremy plopped down with Evan and they started up the game. Michael and Jared started up Mario Kart 64 in the basement and Connor went to play Super Mario World on the other TV in the living room. 

“Why are we all playing Mario games” Connor asked. 

•Because I like Mario. And because I’ve played those games myself...actually I played Super Mario Kart, not 64, but whatever. We got a Nintendo 64 when we moved houses, and it was so much fun. I wish I grew up with those games. I grew up with Crash Bandicoot and shitty Spider-Man games. Actually...I liked the second Spider-Man game...I shouldn't diss it.• 

“DIDNT NEED YOUR LIFE STORY” Jared shouted from the basement. 

•FUCK YOU IT HAD A GOOD STORY TO IT!• 

“Okay, don't shout” Evan flinched. “We’re playing games, we don’t have to continue anymore.” 

“Alright, is the chapter over” Connor asked. 

•I guess.•

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •I NEED INSPIRATION! PLEASE, GIVE ME SUGGESTIONS! I NEED THEM BADLY!!•


	17. DAMN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •Tumblr @beccathebiscuitbaker
> 
> Ask me shit about fan fiction•

_(Thebananathatwrites, I_read_fanfics, and Evelyn_Harrison inspired chapter)_

**DAMN**

Evan, Connor, and Jared were now watching Jeremy and Michael play Apocalypse of the Damned. They had finally beat the game right before the end of junior year, but they wanted to replay the last level. The most entertaining thing was their shouting. 

“ZOMBIE” Michael cried. 

•Fuck, this is lame.• 

“CLAWS” Jeremy yelled. “No it’s not!” 

•IDEA!!! WELCOME TO HELL BOYS!• 

With a snap of the authors fingers all five boys were transported into the game. They each had a weapon in their hands. 

“WHAT” Evan screamed, staring at the axe in his hands. 

“Awesome” Jeremy breathed, grinning at the gun he was holding. “Wait...the end of the level is the most annoying thing ever. Damn it!” 

•If one of you dies you disappear until you all die or you finish the game. I’m changing it up a bit Jeremy, expect the unexpected. But the ending is the same.• 

And that’s when Jared was killed by a zombie. The other four screamed and ran for their lives. Michael kept attacking things with his chainsaw and Connor stabbed anything that came near him with his daggers. 

“Thank god I’m fast” Connor breathed. 

“WHY THE FUCK DOES THAT ZOMBIE LOOK LIKE HAMILTON” Evan screeched. 

Jeremy and Michael just ran forward and attacked the beast. Connor and Evan were shook. The two acted like this was normal. Their whole life wasn’t normal granted, BUT WHAT THE FUCK?! 

“Tomorrow there’ll be more of us” Hamilton zombie coughed before disintegrating. 

Evan fainted. Connor caught him and looked to the other two. 

“Revive him” Jeremy grinned. 

Michael grabbed a bottle out of his pocket and splashed it onto Evan. The shorter boy awoke and jumped out of Connor’s arms to pick up his axe. 

“Let’s keep going” Jeremy whooped. 

Evan marched forward and slapped Jeremy across the face. 

“WHAT THE FUCK JEREMY” Evan sobbed. “IM ABOUT TO DIE OF A GOD DAMN HEART ATTACK AND YOURE ACTING LIKE THIS IS THE COOLEST VR GAME EVER! ITS NOT! STOP ACTING LIKE IT BEFORE I DIE!” 

“Okay, yeah. We need to think this through” Michael sighed. “Me and Jeremy know this game, but Hamilton wasn’t supposed to show up. So clearly things are different now. I’ll take front. Jeremy and Evan, sides. Connor cover back, okay?” 

The other three nodded and they formed into a new clump. They stared walking again and stayed quiet unless attacking a zombie. 

“JEREMY HEERE” a voice called. 

“HOLY FUCK ITS THE SQUIP” Jeremy shouted. 

“I’ll do whatever it takes to make you cool Jeremy” Squip warned. “Even kill your friends here.” 

“He really does look like Keanu Reeves” Michael mumbled. 

Then Michael was electrocuted. He disappeared and Evan charged forward and swung his axe. The Squip was decapitated and it vanished.

“Keep moving” Jeremy whispered. 

Now there was three. Jeremy was now leading the group. It was a system. Kill zombies, move forward, repeat. Suddenly a girl with a mostly blue outfit appeared. 

“I’m Veronica” the girl greeted. “I’m here to help the newcomers on their quest.” 

“No thanks” Jeremy frowned. “I’ve got this.” 

“I’m afraid you don’t have a choice” Veronica frowned. “J.D. do it!” 

Another boy threw himself into Jeremy and they blew up. Evan and Connor backed into each other and watched Veronica wave for them to follow her. They followed her despite the fear that had settled into their chests. A building appeared in the distance. 

“Your final quest” Veronica purred. “Is in there. You won’t be needing weapons.” 

As she spoke their defense was turned to dust. Veronica joined hands with a girl dressed in yellow and they vanished together. Connor grabbed Evan’s hand and walked into the building. A woman was sitting inside. 

“MOM” Connor squeaked. 

“Hello Connor” Cynthia smiled. “Enjoy the music.” 

With that Cynthia was gone. In her place was left two microphones. Evan and Connor hesitantly picked them up. That’s when the music started. They knew that song. 

“OUR FINAL QUEST IS TO SING” Connor groaned. “WHAT THE FUCK BECCA!” 

“Say there’s this person you pass in the hall every day” Evan sang. “You’ve known of him since second grade. You’re used to thinking about him in a certain way. From the persona that he desplayed. And then something changes...and he changes. 

From a guy that you’d never be into, into a guy that you’d kinda be into. From a guy that I’d never be into, into a guy that I’d kinda be into. Is he worth it? Connie, is he?” 

“Is he talking about him” the girl in yellow asked. 

“Of course Heather” Jeremy’s Squip scoffed. “His pheromones are activating. Keep it up!” 

“Say there’s this person that you never knew that well” Evan hummed.

“He is totally into you” the group of characters droned on. 

“You thought that you had him pegged but now you can tell” Evan belted out. “He’s gone from a guy that you’d never be into, into a guy that you’d kinda be into. From a guy that I’d never be into, into a guy that I’d kinda be into. Is he worth it? Connie?” 

“Absolutely” Connor nodded. 

“I don’t always relate to other people my age” Evan sang. “Except when their aware this way. There are so many changes that I’m going through. And why am I tellin this to you? 

Guess there’s a part of me that wants to. I guess a part of me wants to, who know? I guess a part of me likes to talk to you. I guess a part of me wants to, who knew? I guess a part of me likes to sit with you. I guess a part of me likes to, who knew? I guess a part of me likes to hang with you, I guess a part of me-

Back to AotD. I know that it’s weird, but it’s totally true. The guy that I’d kinda be into.” 

“The guy that you’d kinda be into” Connor continued. 

“The guy that I’d kinda be into” the two hummed. 

“Is” Evan smiled. “You.” 

A flash of light appeared and the two were beamed away. They appeared in a dark room where Jeremy, Michael, and Jared were waiting. 

“I was killed before I spoke a single word of dialogue” Jared pouted. 

“Well, now we can go home” Michael sighed. 

•No you can’t. I’m continuing this next chapter, and it’s basically going to be a short chapter that I have planned in my head already.• 

“Why not tell us now” Jeremy blanked. “Just keep writing?” 

•I have a ten o’clock deadline to meet. Sorry, but I don’t have time.• 

“What the hell”Connor muttered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •I still want suggestions, but they won’t be used for two days. 
> 
> Love y’all<3•


	18. Fears

**Fears**

“Should the title scare me” Michael questioned. 

•Look, since I have seen video games that end by showing cool clips that you played through, I thought we could show the readers your worst fear in your respective musical.• 

“Oh boy” Jared muttered. “Who’s first?” 

•That would be Evan.• 

The author waved her hand and a clip played. Evan, on his first day of senior year. 

“Dear Evan Hansen” the clip began. “Turns out this isn’t going to be an amazing week or an amazing year. Cause...cause why would it? Oh, I know because there’s Zoe and all my hope is pinned on Zoe who I don’t even know. And who doesn’t know me but...you know, maybe if I did, maybe if I could just talk to her then. Maybe nothing would be different at all. I wish everything was different. I wish I was a part of something. I wish that anything I said mattered to anyone. I mean...face it...would anyone notice if I disappeared tomorrow?

Sincerely, your best and most dearest friend,

Me.” 

The clip ended and everyone regrouped. 

“That’s your worst fear” Michael whispered. “Me and Jeremy listened to the damn soundtrack, we didn’t watch the musical! Fuck Evan!” 

•NEXT IS JEREMY!• 

Another clip played from the screen. It was Jeremy and Michael at the Halloween party. 

“Michael” Jeremy jumped. “I didn’t know you were invited to this party.” 

“I wasn’t” Michael deadpanned. “That’s why I’m wearing this...clever disguise.” 

Michael climbed out of the tub he was lying in and looked over at Jeremy. 

“You’re speechless” Michael noted. “Squip got your tongue?” 

“N-No” Jeremy whispered. “It’s...it’s off.” 

“Well that explains why you’re talking to me” Michael frowned. “I was thinking about this moment. What I was gonna say to you. I had this really...pissed off monologue. An epic journey of twelve years of friendship.” There was a pause. “What?” 

“No it's just” Jeremy chuckled. “It’s really great to see you man.” 

“Well it won’t be” Michael stated. “When you hear what I found out.” 

“Found out? About” Jeremy trailed off. Michael pointed to his head. The Squip. “How there’s nothing on the internet?” 

“Which is weird right” Michael snapped. “I mean, what’s not on the internet? And so I started asking around and finally! This guy I play Warcraft told me that his brother went from a straight D student...to a freshman at Harvard. Do you know where he is now?” 

“Really happy and successful” Jeremy guessed. 

“He’s in a mental hospital” Michael whispered. “Totally lost it.” 

“Well I don’t see what that has to do with me-” 

“Think man! We’re talking an insanely powerful super computer. You think it’s primary function is to get you laid? Who made them? How did they end up in a high school? IN NEW JERSEY! Of all the possible applications for such a-a mind blowing piece of technology, you ever wonder what it’s doing inside you?”

“Heh” Jeremy smirked. “And I thought Chloe was jealous.” 

“I’m honestly asking” Michael said. 

“No, really?” 

“Yeah!” 

“Cause I think that you’re just pissed that I got one and you didn’t.” 

“Come on-” 

“Maybe I got lucky, okay? Is that so weird? I mean, with my history? I’d say that the universe owed me one. And yeah I don’t know about your friends brothers-whatever. But if you’re telling me that the Squip made him crazy-” 

“The Squip didn’t make him crazy” Michael corrected, losing his temper. 

“Well alright then, there you go-” 

“HE WENT CRAZY TRYING TO GET IT OUT!” 

There was silence. Both boys just staring at each other. Jeremy was the one to break the unsettling quiet. 

“Well then, I’ve got nothing to worry about” Jeremy shrugged, heading to the door. “Why would I want that?” 

Michael blocked the door from Jeremy. He crossed his arms over his chest and frowned. 

“Come on man, move it” Jeremy muttered. 

Michael tsked, “Or you’ll what?”

Jeremy got in Michael’s face. His face red with anger. 

“Get out of my way” Jeremy growled. “Loser.” 

Jeremy shoved past Michael and walked out of the bathroom. Michael heard the door slam and he leaned against the wall, sliding to the floor. Someone started banging on the door. 

“Hello” a girls voice shouted. “Some of us have to pee!” 

“I’m having my period” Michael called. 

“Take your time honey” the girl sighed. 

The scene ended there and when Evan looked up Michael and Jeremy were hugging. Tears streaming down both their faces. 

“I would expect that to be Michael’s worst fear from the musical” Connor stated. 

“It’s mine because the Squip was off” Jeremy whispered. “That was all me. I said that, the Squip didn’t make me.” 

•Jared, you’re up honey.• 

Jared just flopped onto the floor. He knew what was gonna come. The clip started up and Jared covered his face. 

“W-We need more emails okay” Evan babbled. “Emails showing, showing that he was getting worse.” 

Jared let out a snicker. Evan whipped around, offended. 

“This isn’t funny” Evan frowned. 

“No, I think it’s hilarious” Jared said, not showing his emotions. “I think that everyone would think that it’s hilarious.”

“What’s that supposed to mean” Evan scoffed. 

“It mean, maybe you should remember who your friends are” Jared deadpanned. 

“I thought the only reason you even talk to me was because of your car insurance” Evan recalled. 

“So?” 

“So, maybe the only reason you hang out with me, Jared, is because you don’t have any other friends!” 

“I could tell everyone everything!” 

“OKAY GREAT YOU GO AHEAD! DO THAT! TELL EVERYONE THAT YOU HELPED WRITE EMAILS PRETENDING TO BE A KID WHO KILLED HIMSELF!”

“FUCK YOU EVAN” Jared screamed. “ASSHOLE!” 

“Does it cross your mind to be slightly sorry” Alana sang, jumping into the picture. “Do you even care that you might be wrong? Was it fun? Well I hope you had a blast while you dragged me along!” 

“And you say what you need to say” Jared cried out. “And you play who you need to play! And if somebody’s in your way you crush them and leave them behind!” 

“Well I guess if I’m not of use” the two harmonized. “Go ahead you can cut me loose. Go ahead now I won’t mind!”

The clip ended and Jared sat up. Evan pulled his friend off the ground and hung his head. 

“We never did make up” Evan whispered. “In the other timeline. It ended without us talking. I didn’t make up with Alana either.” 

“Shit happens” Jared sighed. “Why was singing included?” 

•That line always hits me in the gut. Thats really all. Michael, sweetheart, my twunk, you’re next.• 

The next clip began and Michael watched as the bathroom came back into play. 

“This is a heinous night” Michael sang, clearly through tears and a panic attack. “I wish I’d stayed at home in bed, watching cable porn. Or wish I’d offer myself instead! Wish I was never born! I’m just Michael who’s a loner, so he must be a stoner! Rides a PT Cruiser! God he’s such a loser! Michael flyin solo! Who you think that you know? Michael in the bathroom by himself! All by himself! All by himself! All you know about me is my name. Awesome party, I’m so glad I came.” 

Michael’s clip was over in a flash. Michael himself just shook his head and sighed, what was new? Everyone expected that as it was. 

•Connor, you ready?• 

“I don’t know what it could be” Connor sighed. “The real me was on stage for five minutes at best.” 

The final clip went onto the screen and started to play. It was Zoe. 

“Why should I have a heavy heart” Zoe sobbed. “Why should I say I’ll keep you with me? Why should I go and fall apart for you? 

Why, should I play the grieving girl and lie, saying that I miss you? And that my world has gone dark without your light? I will sing no requiem tonight!” 

Zoe was full on shouting at this point. Her face looked livid.

“Cause when the villains fall, the kingdoms never weep! No one lights a candle to remember! No, no one mourns at all when they lay them down to sleep! So don’t tell me that I didn’t have it right! Don’t tell me that it wasn’t black and white! After all you put me through! Don’t say it wasn’t true! That you were not the monster...that I knew.” 

The clip ended with that and the five boys were teleported back to the Mell living room. Evan and Connor crashed to the floor together and Jared snorted at them. Thank god that was over. 

•I’m gonna list the videos and pictures I used for inspiration for this chapter, Okay?• 

“Okay” Michael sighed, shutting down his gaming system. 

•You’re gonna use your voices, more specifically your commenting shapes.• 

“Just go” Jared frowned. 

[~Jeremy~](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Rt1J4XfJJmI#)

[“Evan”](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/448811919101736862/)

[+Michael+](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QVGqLbpCboU)

[#Jared#](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4B9D5hTyiLM)

[^Connor^](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MjB5rYqls3Q) 

_End of the Teen Ark_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •Hope you liked the chapter. See ya tomorrow...or today depending on where you live and what time zone you live in, and when I post this.•  
> “Love yall❤️”


	19. Hansen Fight Night

_(I_read_fanfics inspired chapter...kinda)_

**Hansen Fight Night**

Evan was given a ride back home the next morning by Michael. Heidi was sitting in the living room when he arrived home. 

“Hi mom” Evan greeted. “I thought you had work.” 

“I took the day off” Heidi sighed. “Can we talk for a bit?” 

Evan nodded and sat down next to his mother. Heidi grabbed his hand and pulled out a stack of papers from her pocket. 

“I was cleaning your bookshelf” Heidi whispered. “Because it’s a total mess and you don’t like organizing it, and I found these. Allow me to read one.” 

“Mom don’t” Evan mumbled. 

“Dear Evan Hansen” Heidi read. “There will never be a great day. How can there be a great day if I can’t do one thing right? I can’t even kill myself properly, how will I accomplish anything else in life? What’s the point of trying anymore? Sincerely, me.” 

Heidi put the letter down and picked up another. Evan tried to get her to stop but she shushed him. His world was falling apart again.

“Dear Evan Hansen-” 

“STOP IT” Evan shouted. 

“What am I supposed to do Evan” Heidi cried. “I find these, these notes that are the absolute worst thing in the world. And I think about how distant you’ve been. And how you spend all your time with other people...I mean...do you know how mortifying it is to find out that your son has been spending every night in someone else’s home? Shit.” 

“It’s not every night” Evan frowned. “And you aren’t even home so what does it matter?” 

“I mean these people...they-” 

“They’re not these people” Evan stated. “They’re my...” 

“What” Heidi cried. “What are they Evan?” 

“They're my friends” Evan shouted, standing up. “Is that so hard to believe? That I have people who don’t think I’m broken in my life? They aren’t like you, they don’t think they need to fix me like you do-” 

“I am your mother.” 

“-That I don’t need to take  _drugs_  in order to be happy. They like me. They’re nice to me. You don’t even know me! Hell, you barely even see me!” 

“I thought I knew you” Heidi spat. 

“Clearly not.”

“I am trying my best Evan” Heidi sobbed. 

“Why don’t you just say it” Evan screamed. “Why do you think I jumped out of a tree? Just say it! Say that I ruined your life! Say it!” 

“You didn’t ruin my life Evan-” 

“Really? Because you spend more time with your boyfriend then you do your own child!” 

“I know that’s how it looks but-” 

“Say it!” 

“No!” 

“Say it!” 

“Evan-” 

“JUST SAY IT FOR FUCKS SAKE!” 

“YOU ARE THE ONE...” Heidi trailed off. “THE ONLY GOOD THING THATS EVER HAPPENED TO ME EVAN! Sorry I can’t give you anything more than that.” 

“Ya know” Evan sighed. “I’d believe you, but I’ve heard that argument before.” 

Evan stormed off and ran out the front door. Fuck. Evan didn’t stop running. Evan didn’t even realize that he was in his neighborhood park until he looked up. Evan stopped running and sat at the base of a tree. He cried his eyes out. 

Evan still had his bag on his shoulders. Evan opened the front pocket and pulled out his meds. He could end it right now, be rid of this timeline and any other in a thought. Evan didn’t even hesitate. He swallowed the pills dry and sat there crying. He hoped it was enough. 

“Evan” Alana’s voice called. 

How long had he been sitting there? What was she doing? He was a waste of time anyway. He wasn’t the only Rvan Hansen out there.

“Evan, what did you do” Alana gasped. 

“It’s okay” Evan coughed. “I’m one of thousands. If I die, more will be there to replace me.” 

And then it went dark. 

 

Evan felt horrible. He felt hungover, but worse. Evan opened his eyes and squinted at the bright white room. Where was he? If the IV in his arm had anything to say, Evan would guess he was in the hospital. Why wasn’t he dead? 

Evan looked around the room. No one was there. Go figure. The door opened and a nurse walked in. 

“Oh my god you’re up” the nurse gasped. 

Evan heard someone shouting from behind the door. Suddenly Connor was charging into the room with Zoe, Alana, Jeremy, and Jared in tow. 

“One at a time” the nurse frowned. 

Connor flipped off the nurse and crouched down next to Evan. Zoe handed Connor a paper cup filled with water. Connor made Evan take a sip of the fluid before setting the cup down. Evan reached his hand out and Connor squeezed it. 

“Are you okay” Connor asked. “Do you need anything?” 

“What happened” Evan whispered. 

“You overdosed” Jared stated. “You’ve been in a coma for two weeks.” 

“T-Two weeks” Evan squeaked. 

Jeremy slapped Jared’s shoulder. Alana walked over to the other side of Evan. 

“Do you remember what happened” Alana asked. 

“No” Evan sighed. 

“You told me that someone would replace you” Alana mumbled. “And then you got all distant and you weren’t really there. I called an ambulance and tried to keep you talking until they arrived. You told me about a fight with your mom and how you were worthless and that even when someone was physically making your life happier you still weren’t happy. I-I didn’t understand.” 

“I haven’t slept for a week” Jeremy mumbled. “I couldn’t, I thought maybe it was my fault. The whole thing at Michael’s house the night before. I...I need coffee.” 

“I’ll go with” Alana offered. 

The two walked off and Connor pressed a kiss to Evan’s hair. Evan hung his head in shame. 

“I’m gonna go grab snacks for us” Zoe sighed, walking out of the room, pulling Jared with her. 

“Why didn’t you say anything” Connor whispered. “I would have been there for you.” 

“I didn’t want to think about it” Evan confessed. “I thought if I ignored my problems then they would go away. I’m sorry Connor.” 

“It's okay Ev” Connor murmured, pressing a kiss to the shorter boy’s brow. 

Evan kissed Connor’s nose before he could pull back and picked at the blanket covering him. 

“Don’t do that” Connor frowned, pulling Evan’s hands away. “You ruin stuff doing that.” 

Connor pulled a red stress ball out of his pocket and gave it to Evan to play with. Zoe came into the room slightly out of breath. 

“Jeremy passed out” Zoe explained. “He has a history of insomnia. His dad was called, I was told to tell you.” 

“Thanks” Evan smiled. 

Zoe turned and left again Connor pulled up a stool to sit at and held onto Evan’s hand. 

“I love you” Connor whispered. “I’m not just saying that. I love you so much it hurts. Evan, you scared the ever living shit out of me. I’ve only told you that I love you once before, and that first time I wasn’t really sure. It was back when I had first found out about Becca. But now, I’m fucking positive, I’m sorry that you had to feel that way and that you probably still do. But fuck, I love you Evan.” 

“I love you too” Evan mumbled. 

Connor pressed one firm kiss to Evan’s lips before he went to rolling across the room. Evan played with the stress ball and watched Connor roll around. Evan jumped when the door opened. Heidi walked through. Oh boy. 

“Alice said that you were awake” Heidi sighed. “You’ll be in rehab for a few days, but then you can go home as long as I watch you take your meds.” 

“When are you going to find time for that” Evan muttered. 

“Not now Evan” Heidi groaned. “You get transfered tonight.” 

Heidi left after that. Evan sat up taller and talked with Connor until the others came back, excluding Jeremy who was taken home by his father. 

“What happened to us” Zoe asked. “I feel like we haven’t talkes since we went on that double date.” 

“Life gets busy” Connor shrugged. “Don’t you have jazz band to get to?” 

“Shit” Zoe gasped. “I do.” 

“I have mathleats” Jared recalled. “I’ll take you.” 

The pair left after bidding Evan farewell. Zoe embraced Alana before leaving as well. 

“So” Alana drawled. “We live in a fan fiction?” 

“What” Connor blanked. 

“How” Evan sputtered. 

•Umm...• 

“Who was that” Alana jumped. 

•Oh, I’m Becca. I am like...a god to you guys? I’m not religious though, so don’t think you have to worship me or anything Lana.• 

“Can we get back to the how” Connor muttered. “Like, How did Alana figure it out.” 

“Evan told me” Alana stated. “He was about to go unconscious from an overdose, but he told me. It took a while to figure out, but then when we were in the room before, I heard the narration. And I just assumed, either this is a book or a fan fiction. Bing bang boom.” 

“Well damn” Connor chuckled. “Nice work Alana. I only found out last month. Shit...I’ve known for a month.” 

“I’ve been stuck with Becca for two months” Evan exclaimed. “Umm...” 

•COOL!• 

“What do we do now” Alana asked. 

•I’ll probably end the chapter here and then I’ll add you to my group of commenters. Is that a word? My phone doesn’t want to correct it so I’ll assume it’s a word. I wanted to elaborate on Jeremy’s insomnia, but I couldn’t find a way to work it in, so he passed out. Maybe another chapter I’ll do that. But I know it won’t be next chapter.• 

“Okay then” Alana nodded. “Guess we end it like this?” 

“Yep” Connor nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •Let us welcome the lovely Alana to our group.•   
> =Hello!=  
> •So the new key is...•  
> “Evan.”  
> ~Jeremy.~  
> +Michael.+  
> ^Connor.^  
> #Jared.#  
> =Alana.=  
> •And me. Perfect. Love y’all<3•  
> =That’s adorable!=  
> •Thank you Alana!•


	20. Reaction

_(I_read_fanfics inspired chapter)_

**Reaction**

•Is everyone here?• 

“Yep” Alana nodded, looking at the boy’s. “What’s the plan for today?” 

•I am going to give everyone’s reaction of what happened to Evan. Because you all found out from each other.• 

“Ah, come on” Evan muttered. 

•Alana starts!•

 

Alana was just on her walk. She was trying to stay active for her health. Alana was just that kind of person. What Alana didn’t expect was to find Evan crying on the ground. 

“Evan” Alana called. 

Alana walked over and saw Evan holding a pill bottle in his hands. That couldn’t be good. 

“Evan, what did you do” Alana gasped. 

“It’s okay” Evan croaked. “I’m one of thousands. If I die, more will be there to replace me.” 

Alaba watched as Evan zoned out. It was like his mind wasn’t there. Alana called 911. 

“911, what’s your emergency” the dispatcher greeted. 

“Hi, umm, my name is Alana Beck” Alana babbled. “I think my friend overdosed on anti-depressants. I need an ambulance.” 

The dispatcher asked for the address of the park and told Alana to keep him talking. And to make sure that Evan stayed awake. 

“Evan, why” Alana asked. 

“I’m a bad kid” Evan slurred. “I ruined my moms life. I’m completely worthless. Even when someone is deliberately making my life happier, I’m still so sad Lana. I ruined my moms life Lana.” 

“I’m sure you didn’t” Alana protested. 

“She yelled and I yelled and I just wanna go home Lana” Evan cried. 

“You have to go to the doctor first Evan” Alana sighed. 

“I wish reality wasn’t fake” Evan said, clearly not remembering the past subject. 

“What?” 

“She’ll just take me back, I won’t die even if I want to. Nothing is real and I’m not helping people I just make things worse. I didn’t even try to start some stupid thing like the Connor Project this time!” 

Why did that name sound familiar? 

“Evan, calm down” Alana cooed, rubbing circles into his back. 

“I don’t feel good Lana” Evan whispered. 

“Lay down on your side” Alana instructed, helping him move. “That way you won’t choke if you throw up.” 

“Ms. Beck” a man called. 

Alana jumped up as the paramedics came by. Evan was put onto a stretcher and Alana saw how pale he truly looked, it had been hard to tell with the way he had been covering his face. Alana got into the ambulance with the paramedics and watched over Evan. 

“He’s losing consciousness” a nurse stated. 

Alana watched Evan fade out intirely and covered her mouth with her hand. What if they were too late? 

 

“Okay, ouch” Evan muttered. “I’m so sorry Alana.” 

“It’s okay” Alana assured. “As long as you are okay. That’s all that matters.” 

•Hmm...next should be...Jared!• 

“Oh fuck” Jared groaned. 

 

Jared had been eating a snack of potato chips when Alana called him. Jared wiped off his fingers before answering the phone. 

“Yellow” Jared greeted. 

“Jared, it’s Alana” Alana whispered. “You need to call Ms. Hansen. Right now. Evan overdosed.” 

“HE WHAT” Jared cried. 

“I, I found him in the park” Alana sobbed. “He was out of it and he isn’t conscious Jared. He just...passed out. Call Ms. Hansen now. Please.” 

“You got it” Jared nodded, hanging up. 

Jared never called Heidi. It was weird, calling your best friends mom. Jared still dialed the number and waited for Heidi to answer. 

“Hello” Heidi sighed. 

“Heidi, it’s Jared” Jared muttered. “Evan overdosed in the park, he’s unconscious and at the hospital. Our friend Alana found him. I think you need to get there now.” 

“Shit” Heidi jumped. “I’ll be there soon. Thank you Jared.” 

Heidi hung up and Jared started pacing. He usually did that when he was worried. Jared didn’t know what to do. Did he tell someone? Did he wait until they knew Evan was stable?

Why did Evan Even do that? He was just fine the night before. What the fuck? All that heart to heart shit? The whole fears thing? What the actual fuck? 

“Fuck it” Jared grumbled, picking up his phone. “Murphy it is.” 

 

“I’m not a very emotional guy” Jared noted. “It’s too mushy for me.” 

“Aren’t gay people supposed to be emotional” Michael blanked. “Cause I’m hella emotional.” 

“I’m just teenage angst trapped in a sit foot tall bottle” Connor shrugged. “I’m next?” 

•Obviously.• 

 

Connor had been lying on his bed, contemplating his existence again, when his phone blew up. Connor frowned at Jared’s texts and ignored them. But then it buzzed three more times and Connor caved.

Kleinman: Connor, we need to talk.

Kleinman: Dude, Evan is in the hospital. 

Kleinman: Connor? 

Kleinman: Connor

Kleinman: Con?

Kleinman: Connor Murphy?

Kleinman: CONNOR FUCKING MURPHY!

Kleinman: ANSWER YOU SHIT! 

Kleinman: YOUR BOYFRIEND COULD DIE!!!

Murphy: What happened to Evan? Is he okay? Do I need to puch you in the face? Cause I’ll do it. 

Kleinman: Evan overdosed. Alana found him. I’ve called Heidi. I don’t know what happened. He was okay yesterday. 

Murphy: Fuck. Umm...do I go to the hospital? I’m usually the one in the hospital bed when it comes to this. 

Kleinman: I dunno man. If anything, update Jeremy and Michael. Fuck...this isn’t good. 

Murphy: No shit it isn’t good. I’ll call Jeremy. Thanks Kleinman. 

Kleinman: No problem Murphy.

Connor gave himself a minute to calm down. If he called Jeremy sounding like a total mess it would freak him out. Once Connor wasn’t shaking with fear he grabbed his phone again and clicked on his cousins contact.

 

”Babe” Evan squeaked. “That was adorable and heartbreaking all at once.” 

“Did you mean Dear Evan Hansen” Connor blanked, pecking Evan on the cheek. 

•Jeremy, sweetheart, my twink, you’re up.• 

 

Jeremy jumped from his spot on the couch when his phone buzzed. Why was Connor calling? They had just talked an hour ago. 

“Connor” Jeremy answered. 

“Hey Jeremy” Connor sighed. “Look, Evan overdosed. Umm...he’s in the hospital. That’s all I really know at this point. I figured that you should know. Don’t stress too bad about it Jere. He will be okay. It’s not like Becca would let him die.” 

Connor hung up and Jeremy curled into a ball. What if it was what he had done the night prior? Forcing Evan into that zombie game and acting like it was the best thing ever. 

“Don’t let it stress me” Jeremy scoffed. “I’m stress dressed in a sweater!” 

Jeremy rocked in his ball until he thought he could walk to his room. Jeremy climbed into bed and tried to rest. 

_You can’t get rid of me that easily Jeremy!_

Jeremy shot up from his pillow and tried to calm down. It was just a dream. The Squip was dead, Evan decapitated it. 

“Yeah, decapitated” Jeremy mumbled. 

Jeremy sat at his desk and pulled up some funny videos in hopes of the cheering him up. Jeremy knew it wouldn’t work, and could practically smell the insomnia hitting him. 

 

“And then I didn’t sleep for a week” Jeremy mumbled. 

“How did Michael find out” Connor asked. 

“Oh, you know...Jared texted me when Evan woke up” Michael deadpanned. 

“What” Evan blanked. 

“That means you found out a few days ago” Alana frowned. 

“I know” Michael sighed. “Seriously, How did you forget me?” 

•If it happens in between chapters it’s not on me.• 

“I don’t lnow if I should laugh or be concerned” Jeremy snorted. 

“Fuck” Evan muttered. “I’m sorry that this even happened guys.” 

•I’m the one who made you do it Ev, don’t be sorry.• 

“It’s still my brain” Evan protested. 

“Enough” Connor shouted. “Evan, we can have this conversation after the chapter ends. Later!” 

•Bye!!•

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •Tumblr: @beccathebiscuitbaker
> 
> Ask me shit about fan fiction•


	21. Carnival

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •Connor gets clingy when he’s high, you can fight me on that!•

_(YWBFound & I_read_fanfics inspired chapter)_

**Carnival**

Two weeks after Evan was released from rehab Alana planned a day for all the teens to hang out, Zoe included. The only person who had a problem with going was Evan himself. 

Heidi and Evan were not on good terms. They didn’t talk to each other, and Heidi refused to let Evan leave the house unless it was for school. Heidi even forced Jared to take Evan to school and back home when she couldn’t. 

Heidi was keeping her word on watching Evan take his meds every single morning. Evan took to staying in his room at almost all times. Every time that the two started talking it lead to a fight. Today was one of those days. Let me lay it out for you. 

“Alana’s get together for all of us is today” Evan mumbled, poking at his cereal since he had to eat when he took his meds. 

“I said you aren’t going Evan” Heidi sighed. 

“Why not” Evan asked. “I’ve been stuck at the house for two weeks, and the others have come over once.” 

“You aren’t going, that’s final” Heidi frowned. 

“Oh, I want my kid to be perfect and be social but I won’t let him leave the house because he’ll kill himself if I let him leave” Evan mocked. “But I still want my kid to be perfect and have friends even though I won’t let him talk to his friends.” 

“Evan knock it off” Heidi muttered. 

“You took my phone away” Evan protested. 

“You have to earn it back” Heidi explained. 

“Earn it” Evan scoffed. “Jesus, you act like I stole from you and I need to be grounded. What’s gonna happen when I break down and I’m alone? Who will I call? No one.” 

“You can email people still, you have your laptop” Heidi recalled. 

“No one used email anymore” Evan groaned. “I don’t even have my friends email addresses as it is.” 

“Then ask at school on Monday” Heidi growled. 

“You’re acting like I’ll jump out of a tree of the wind changes direction” Evan cried. 

“Do you blame me” Heidi yelled. “You tried to kill yourself twice in the past six months!” 

“MAYBE I WOULDNT HAVE IF YOU TRIED TO BE A MOM FOR ONCE!” 

“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK IM DOING EVAN?” 

“YOU TREAT ME LIKE IM A PATIENT! IM NOT EVEN YOUR KID ANYMORE!” 

“IM SORRY BUT IVE NEVER HAD TO DEAL WITH A SUICADAL KID BEFORE!” 

“Heidi” Joseph’s voice boomed. 

Evan ran up the stairs and locked himself in his room. His door didn’t lock, but it got jammed if you closed it tight enough and it was difficult to open again. Evan sat on the floor and curled into a ball. This had to have been his third panic attack in the week. 

“Evan” a voice called. 

“G-Go away” Evan choked out. 

“It’s Jeremy, I’m coming in” the voice announced. 

Evan curled up tighter as Jeremy kicked the door open. Jeremy crouched down next to Evan and helped him calm down. Once Evan was breathing normally again Jeremy pulled him up. 

“You two always fight like that” Jeremy asked. 

“Every few days” Evan muttered. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you mad” Jeremy chuckled. 

“I don’t get it” Evan whispered. “Five chapters ago we were just fine, playing video games, being losers, why did this have to happen?” 

•Plot.• 

“Not now Becca” Jeremy sighed. “You know your mom is just trying to keep you safe, right?” 

“She didn’t care until this happened” Evan noted. “Sorry if I’m making you late to the carnival thing Jeremy.” 

“It’s cool” Jeremy assured. “My dad just came by to talk to your mom quick before we got get Connor and Zoe. My dad is supervising us today.” 

“Evan” Heidi mumbled, knocking on the doorframe. “You can go with Jeremy today. You boys need bonding time.” 

“What” Evan blanked. 

“I realize the awkward timing” Joseph smiled, appearing at Heidi’s side. “But...” 

Heidi held up her hand. She had a ring on her finger. No fucking way. 

“No way” both boys gasped. 

“Since Joe is watching you, it’s okay if you go” Heidi explained. “Have fun, I have class.” 

Jeremy dragged Evan out of the house and sat him down in the car. Joseph drove off to the Murphy house and made the now to be brothers go get the Murphy siblings. Zoe opened the door. 

“Connor” Zoe shouted. “Time to go.” 

“Five minutes” Connor yelled back. 

“Evan’s here” Zoe added. 

“Send him up” Connor cried. 

Joseph ended up coming into the house to talk with Cynthia and Evan was let into Connor’s room. 

“I thought she was fucking with me” Connor snorted, running a brush through his hair. “Do I have something on my face? Why are you staring at me like that?” 

“No” Evan smiled. “I just...I love you. A lot. I’ve had a shitty morning.” 

“C’mere I’ll kiss it better” Connor grinned. 

Evan bounced over to Connor and went up on his tip-toes to kiss the taller boy. Connor latched his hands on Evan’s hips and kisses back a little harder, biting at Evan’s bottom lip. Connor started laughing out of nowhere and released his hold on Evan. The shorter boy watched as Connor fell to his knees from laughing so hard. 

“What” Evan snorted, the laughter getting to him. 

“I-hehehehe, I started thinking about that vine where the guy climbs into his washing machine” Connor laughed. “I don’t know why! I just did.” 

“You’re a train wreck” Evan whispered. 

“I’ll wreck you” Connor murmured, yanking Evan down next to him. 

“Connor no” Evan whined, rolling away. 

Evan got up and felt Connor cling to his leg like a child. 

“I’m high” Connor giggled. 

“No shit” Evan muttered, pulling Connor off the ground. “Becca, fix this.” 

•But He’s so much fun when he’s high!• 

“Do it” Evan sighed, trying to get Connor to stop kissing the back of his neck. 

“No” Connor whined. “Lemme kiss it better.” 

Becca snapped her fingers and Connor’s high vanished. 

“Fuck” Connor groaned. “Sorry.” 

“It’s okay Con” Evan assured. “Let’s get downstairs.” 

Connor pulled on his usual black hoodie and looked over at Evsn. 

“Babe, it’s gonna be cold” Connor recalled. “You need a jacket.” 

“I’m fine” Evan smiled. 

Connor ignored the comment and started digging around in his closet until he found a hoodie that looked just like his own, but it was teal. Connor handed the jacket to Evan so the other boy could put it on. Once the hoodie was zipped the two ran downstairs. 

“Ready” Zoe asked. 

“Yep” Evan nodded. 

“Connor” Cynthia frowned. “Are you high?” 

“What? No” Connor scoffed. 

“Why are you acting so” Cynthia trailed off. 

“Cheerful” Larry finished. 

“Just happy I get to spend the day with my boyfriend” Connor called, walking out the door with Evan in a tow. 

“What” Cynthia jumped. 

“I’m gay” Connor shouted, as he dipped Evan into a kiss. 

“I’m dating Alana” Zoe yelled, running out the door with Jeremy. 

The four teens piled into the car and Mr. Heere followed. Cynthia and Larry were frozen at the door. Mr. Heere drove off with the kids laughing. 

“That’s one way to come out” Jeremy chuckled. 

“How did you come out Jeremy” Connor asked. 

“Wait what” Joseph blanked. 

“I didn’t” Jeremy sighed. 

“Now I want to know what it is Jeremy” Joseph chuckled. “Come on, I’ll love you no matter what.” 

“I’m bisexual” Jeremy stated. “Meaning both boys and girls. Some people have a preference, I’m pretty 50/50 about it.” 

“Do you have a preference” Connor hummed, wrapping an arm around Evan’s shoulders. 

“Not really” Evan shrugged. “Pretty equal.” 

“Should I stop nagging you about having a girl over” Mr. Heere smiled. 

“Yes” Jeremy nodded. “Please.” 

“When ya gonna tell him about your boyfriend” Zoe mocked. 

“It’s Michael, isn’t it” Joseph sighed. 

“How did you know” Jeremy blanked. 

“You two have been attached at the hip for thirteen years” Joseph deadpanned. “You’ve been hanging out more recently, and Michael wears a rainbow patch on his jacket. It’s not hard to guess.” 

“Okay, good point” Jeremy agreed. “Thanks dad.” 

“No problem Jere” Mr. Heere grinned. “We’re here.” 

The five stepped out of the car once it parked. Evan spotted Alana when Zoe dashed over. Evan found the bright red blob that was Michael and watched him eat something out of a bag. 

“You didn’t” Jermey groaned. 

“I WAS GIVEN A FIVE GALLON BUCKET OF COFFEE GROUNDS, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT” Michael cried. 

•Michael! Pass me that good shit!• 

“I talk to you through a screen” Michael mumbled. “I can’t give you the coffee grounds.” 

•I’ll grab some from my kitchen. I’m the only one awake right now...they smell good...I JUST ATE A MOUTHFUL AND IT TASTED LIKE DIRT!! NOW ALL I CAN TASTE IS COFFEE!!! WHY DID I SWALLOW THEM!!! I CANT FREAK OUT CAUSE MY MOM IS SLEEPING!!! FUCK!!!!• 

“I think they taste good” Michael announced, eating another handful. 

•THEYRE STUCK IN MY TEETH!!!• 

“Let’s get walking” Connor sighed. 

“What about Jared” Evan frowned. 

“The insanely cool Jared Kleinman has arrived” Jared boomed, eating something pink. 

“Another bathbomb” Evan groaned. 

“I’ll sing the song” Jared grinned. 

“Fuck no” Connor muttered. “Come on guys. Let’s go.” 

•The song is supposed to be sang to the tune of Michael in the Bathroom.• 

“I figured that out when I listened to the soundtrack” Jared nodded. “Look, if I’m destined to be single in this fan fiction, at least let me cronch on my bathbomb babies.” 

•Everyone is taken sweetheart. All my relationships outside the main story, there just isn’t anyone left. I still taste coffee.•

Everyone regrouped and they took off to the roller coasters. Evan went on one ride before his fear of roller coasters took over. Two rides later Jeremy joined Evan on the benches. 

“Let’s go play some corny games” Jeremy smiled. 

The two brothers to be walked off and just browsed the games. They were turning back around when Connor bumped into them. 

“Jere, Michael wants you to meet him at the tilt-a-whirl. He said he’ll pay you to go on with him” Connor babbled. 

Jermey took off running, leaving the other teens in the dust. Connor intertwined the pairs fingers as Evan leaned against him. Connor froze and stared ahead. 

“Ev” Connor smiled. “I can win you a tree plushie!” 

“Where” Evan jumped. 

Connor dragged Evan along the rows of games and they stopped at dart toss. Evan watched Connor scan the balloons and throw his darts at a red balloon, a pink one, and a green one. The carnie added up the score and somehow Connor got enough points to get the tree plushie. Connor accepted the pillow and walked off with Evan again. 

“It’s so soft” Evan gasped when handed the tree. “I love it. Thank you.” 

“No problem Evan” Connor grinned. “Wadda you want for lunch?” 

“Con, I’m not hungry” Evan mumbled. “We just got here.” 

“Evan, you have to eat” Connor protested. 

“Fine” Evan muttered, leaning into Connor more. 

They both got cheap corndogs and hot clocolate. Connor ended up going on more rides while Evan comforted a pale Jared. Note to self, don’t eat bathbombs before going on a roller coaster. 

Alana and Zoe had disappeared for the whole trip and just magically appeared again when they were leaving. Everyone drove, or was taken home and when Evan plopped down in his room he didn’t feel as hopeless as before. And yes, Evan fell asleep while holding his tree plushie.


	22. Jeremy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •Okay, so...NYC version of Be More Chill is amazing, Will rocked his role along with all the new actors. I was crying at the end. It was beautiful. I’m in love with Will’s portrayal of Jeremy and how he has a lisp and he just seems so relatable. Ahh! Now on with the chapter.•

_(I_read_fanfics inspired chapter)_

**Jeremy**

Jeremy doesn’t know where his issues started. Maybe it was back in kindergarten when the only friend he could make was Michael Mell, maybe it was when his mom left freshmen year. That seems to be when Jeremy’s anxiety started to grow. Hell, maybe it was just the year prior when the Squip took over his body. Jeremy doesn’t really know.

Lets start with Jeremy’s insomnia. Seeing as that is a pretty strange thing for a teen to have. 

 

Jeremy always had troubles sleeping. He couldn’t sleep unless conditions were just right. That meant he didn’t sleep much. It started in middle school. He had the trouble of falling asleep before, but this is when his full blown insomnia kicked in. 

Jeremy couldn’t remember specifically when, but Jeremy’s parents started fighting a lot. Almost every day. So not only did Jeremy have troubles sleeping as it was, he had to deal with the shouting below him. 

One week, Jeremy hadn’t been able to sleep for three days. Not a wink. Jeremy was practically asleep face down on the table during lunch. 

“Jeremy” Michael called. 

“Wha...” Jeremy jumped. 

“You look exhausted dude” Michael frowned. 

“I haven’t slept for three days” Jeremy yawned. 

“Not at all” Michael cried. 

Jeremy just shook his head. Michael handed Jeremy his headphones and let the at the time shorter, Jeremy grew a lot in high school, boy play some soft music. Jeremy passed out from his lack of sleep almost instantly. 

That afternoon Jeremy was sent to the principals office for falling asleep during class. Jeremy stumbled through the door and plopped down in the chair across from the principal. 

“Why did you fall asleep in class Jeremy” the principal asked. 

“I haven’t slept for three days at home” Jeremy mumbled. “I just can’t sleep. At all.” 

“Why is that?” 

“My parents won’t stop fighting. And when they aren’t fighting it scares me so badly that I can’t sleep.” 

That meeting caused Jeremy to be sent to the doctor and be prescribed sleeping pills. They did the job wonderfully. Jeremy took his meds and ten minutes later he was asleep. But after two months his parents refused to get the pills refilled. And Jeremy went back to nearly restless nights. His body just adjusted to not sleeping much anymore, and the teen constantly had bags under his eyes.

 

Jeremy also feared being alone. On his first day of school Jeremy tried to befriend everyone he could. But no one liked Magic the Gathering cards. That’s when Jeremy met Michael Mell. 

“Hey” six year old Michael called. “What awe you playing with?” 

“Magic the Gathering cards” little Jeremy mumbled. 

“Cool” Michael grinned. “Can I play with you?” 

“Okay” Jeremy nodded. 

Michael sat across from Jeremy and they just sorted the cards. They didn’t know how to play the game, they were six. 

“I’m Jeremy Heere” Jeremy said. 

“Hi Jewemy” Michael giggled. “I’m Michael Mell. Will you be my bestest fwiend?” 

“Yeah” Jeremy smiled. “And you will be my best friend?” 

“Yes” Michael nodded. “We awe bestest fwiends Jewmey. Always.” 

“Yay!”

Turns our the boys were in the same class. After school ended and their parents came to pick them up, the boys rushed to get their parents to talk. Michael’s parents were working, so it was actually his aunt that spoke English who picked him up. 

“Dad” Jeremy cried, running into his fathers arms. “You have to meet my friend Michael!” 

“Okay privet, lead the way” Mr. Heere chuckled. 

The boys met half way and they grabbed each other by the arms and jumped around in a circle. 

“Aunt Cassie” Michael beamed. “This is my bestest fwiend Jewemy Heewe.” 

“Dad” Jeremy grinned. “This is my bestest friend Michael Mell.” 

“Nice to meet you Mr. Heere” Cassie greeted. 

“You too Ms. Mell” Joseph nodded. 

The adults started talking and the two boys started playing. 

“We should have a secret handshake” Jeremy gasped. 

“I have one” Michael grinned. 

Michael quickly showed Jeremy to give him a hi five, then switch so their hands slapped again the other direction, and then they hit their ankles together. The practiced for a few minutes before the adults came back.

[•Ya know...this handshake.•](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/180355160062079457/sent/?sfo=1&sender=273030933567817794&invite_code=26f37f06476d4cbfa94fcf2c31271f27) 

“Come on Michael” Ms. Mell smiled. “Time to go home.” 

“Bye bye Jewemy” Michael whispered, wrapping his friend in a hug. 

“Bye bye Michael” Jeremy sighed, returning the hug. “See you tomorrow!” 

From that day forward the two were inseparable. But Jeremy still had his fears. He feared being alone when he needed help. And since he had one friend for all of his life, he wasn’t very hopeful about not being alone. Especially after his mom left.

Jeremy just, gave up on letting people in when his mom left. Jeremy only let the people he already had into his life. Every time he reached out he was rejected. Which is why he bought that Squip.

 

Everyone here at least has a clue of why Jeremy got the Squip. It was a mixture of fear, anxiety, and peer pressure. Also some desire if you think about his want for popularity and friends. It was a dumb mistake either way.

Jeremy still had the days where the voice was in his head. He had dreams that were realistic as shit, and Becca making the Squip murder his best friend/boyfriend in a video game right in front of him was traumatizing. Especially since Evan decapitated it right after. 

Jeremy had nightmares more often then he’d like to admit. Sometimes it was just the voice, other times Keanu was killing his friends and family while he was tied up. There wasn’t an escape. The dreams were like hell coming up from the ground. His most recent one was the day after the video game incident.

“You’ll never see them again Jeremy” the Squip grinned. “I tried to make you popular, I tried to get you to listen. But if you can’t deal with me Squipping the school, I’ll just kill them all.” 

“No! Please” Jeremy sobbed. 

The Squip just cackled and pulled a lever. A hatch opened and giant rocks hit his friends and family, killing them instantly.

“Don’t forget about Michael” the Squip grinned, pointing a finger at the boy. 

“You let me down Jeremy” Michael whispered, before being electrocuted. 

“No” Jeremy screamed. “Stop it!” 

Jeremy jerked awake and fell off the couch. Michael sat up from his spot next to him. 

“You okay Jere” Michael yawned. 

“Nightmare” Jeremy whispered, climbing back into the couch and into Michael’s arms. “I’ll be okay

“Okay then” Michael mumbled, pressing a kiss to Jeremy’s hair. “Night. Love you.” 

“Love you too” Jeremy sighed. 

That wasn’t even the most graphic dream. And it won’t be shared because the rating of this fic is teen and the nightmare was definetly higher rated then that. 

 

“Did I just listen to that” Michael gasped. 

“Yeah, sorry” Jeremy chuckled. “I’m a mess.” 

“No shit you’re a mess Jeremy” Michael grinned, wrapping the taller boy in a hug. “I_read_fanfics why would you do this to me?” 

“This is the first time we’ve mentioned the comments without Becca” Jeremy snorted. 

“Call me if you feel that way” Michael demanded. “If you feel alone, you can’t sleep, or you have a nightmare. You call me until my ass shows up.” 

“Okay Michael” Jermey nodded. “Thanks.” 

“No problem” Michael smiled. “Weren’t the others supposed to be here with us for this?” 

“Umm, yeah” Jeremy blanked. “Becca, where are they?” 

•Evan is under house arrest via Heidi still, Connor is high as a kite right now, Alana is doing community service, and Jared is being Jared, so you don’t want him here.• 

“Good answer” Michael grinned. 

•Anything for you my twunk and twink.• 

“Do you think that Heidi and Evan will make up” Jeremy asked. 

•I dunno. It’s hard when you see both sides of the argument.• 

“Yeah” Michael sighed. “I’m tired, Jere, come nap with me babe.” 

“Fine” Jeremy muttered, walking into Michael’s room.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •Lol, I got this done an hour ahead of schedule.•


	23. Hansen and Heere

_(I_read_fanfics inspired chapter...how many in a row is that now??)_

**Hansen and Heere**

Evan slammed off his alarm and tried to get back to sleep. It was Sunday, he didn’t need to get up yet. Of course Heidi had to barge in. 

“Evan” Heidi tsked. “Get up. We have to get going soon.” 

“Where” Evan groaned. 

“Joseph’s house” Heidi drawled. “We’re helping him and Jeremy move in today.” 

“YOU GOT ENGAGED YESTERDAY” Evan shouted. 

“I’m not fighting you this early in the morning Evan” Heidi muttered. “Get up, go eat, I’ll give you your meds.” 

“Why are they moving in here” Evan asked. “Our house is tiny.” 

“You and Jeremy are going to share a room” Heidi explained. “You two can tackle the room later. Your room is big enough for both of you. Joe has been wanting to downsize as it is. Me and Joe have been planning this for months Evan, what do you think I did while you were out.” 

“Clearly not stressing over me” Evan growled. “Not like I’m your kid.” 

“Get ready” Heidi commanded, walking out of the room and tossing Evan’s phone on the bed.

Evan rolled out of bed and grabbed the box with his ring. Evan opened the box and slipped on the ring. Evan started floating around his room while getting dressed. Evan eventually had to trudge down the stairs to go eat. 

Evan frowned at the sight of the toast in front of him. Evan still ate it while scrolling through his phone and Heidi handed him his meds. After downing the pills Evan walked back up to brush his teeth and pulled on his shoes. 

Heidi was waiting in the car for him. Evan just muttered to himself as he buckled up. That’s when the rain started. And with the added cold November air it was more chilling to the bone. When they arrived at Jeremy’s house, Evan saw Jeremy wave to him through his bedroom window. Evan waved back as he stepped out of the car. 

“Hi Joe” Heidi beamed, wrapping her arms around the man. 

“Heidi” Joseph chuckled. “Hello Evan.” 

“Hi Mr. Heere” Evan mumbled. 

“Evan” Jeremy called. “Come help me finish packing.” 

Evan dashed up the stairs to Jeremy’s room and found the whole place packed up and ready to go. 

“What was I supposed to help with” Evan asked. 

“Nothing” Jeremy smiled, flipping his ring around in his hand. “I just thought you might want to get away from your mom.” 

“Thanks Jeremy” Evan sighed, playing with the hem of his shirt. “Sorry I couldn’t be there last night by the way.” 

“It’s fine” Jeremy assured. “I napped at Michael’s until dinner then went home.” 

“Boys” Joseph sang. “Come help bring boxes out to the car please!” 

Evan grabbed a stack of boxes and used his powers to make it easier to lift. Jeremy just started running back and forth and the boxes vanished. Jeremy’s room took up a whole car. Only room for the driver. 

“Car is loaded” Jeremy announced, walking back into the house with Evan. 

Evan zoned out as the parents started talking. His meds did that to him once and a while. Evan didn’t snap out of it until Jeremy nudged him in the ribs. 

“What” Evan blanked. 

“Jesus Evan” Heidi muttered. “I get that you’re upset with me but you could at least listen!” 

“I wasn’t trying to I just zoned out-” 

“You’re being disrespectful to me, to Joe, and to Jeremy when you don’t listen” Heidi cut Evan off. 

“I didn’t mean to-” 

“STOP INTURUPTING” Heidi shouted. 

“JUST LISTEN FOR FIVE SECONDS INSTEAD OF CUTTING ME-” 

Evan felt pain shoot across his cheek and he stopped talking. Heidi had slapped him. Evan had never ever been physically punished by Heidi, even when he probably deserved a spanking as a child. Mainly because Evan’s father abused him, and it brought back old memories. And that’s exactly where Evan’s mind went. 

“I’m gonna go” Evan whispered, running out he door. 

Evan threw up the hood on his jacket and ran down the street. He knew the neighborhood fairly well. Evan made it three blocks before the panic attack took over. Evan could tell that his face was swelling. Evan curled up into a ball and sat on the ground. 

Evan lost sense of time. He didn’t know how long he was sitting there. When Evan felt a hand press against his shoulder he flinched. Evan looked up and saw Zoe’s face. 

“Evan, what happened” Zoe whispered. “Your face is swollen.” 

Evan just hid his face again. Zoe pulled him up from the ground and dragged him down the street, making sure to keep both of them under her purple umbrella. Evan felt her pull him into a warm building, but didn’t bother to look up. 

“Connor” Zoe shouted. “I’m gonna need your help with this.” 

Evan still refused to look up, but heard the familiar sounds of Connor’s boots on the tile floor. Evan was forced to look up when Connor’s hands tilted his head up. 

“Whoever did this is getting their ass whooped” Connor stated, rubbing his thumb along Evan’s cheek. “Come on Ev.” 

Connor pulled Evan into another room and he was handed an ice pack. Evan placed it to his cheek as Connor found a towel and attempted to dry Evan off. 

“Where are we” Evan whispered. 

“My mom is starting her own business” Connor explained. “She’s seting up shop here. I’m actually excited.” 

“What’s the business” Evan questioned. 

“A coffee shop” Connor grinned. “Me and Zoe are helping her set up today. My mom left to grab more furniture. She should be back soon. Who hurt you Ev? Please tell me.” 

“My mom” Evan choked out. 

Connor wrapped the shorter boy in a hug and Evan dropped his ice pack to hug back. Connor kissed Evan’s forehead and handed him the ice pack again. 

“Okay...I won’t fight your mom” Connor muttered. “You can walk around while I help Zoe. But you have to ice your cheek. Deal?” 

Evan nodded and pressed a light kiss to Connor’s lips. Connor squeezed his shoulder and ran off. Evan was clearly in the break room if the furniture had anything to say about it. 

Evan gave himself another minute to calm down before walking back out, leaving his coat on a hook. Zoe and Connor were pushing a table into place. 

“Oh hey, Ev” Connor drawled. “While I was stoned yesterday I kinda told Zoe everything about reality being fake and stuff. She refuses to believe me.” 

“You still think that reality is fake” Zoe snorted. 

“Show her Ev” Connor smirked. 

Evan glanced at the table they were pushing and made it rise off the ground. Zoe watched as the table floated around the room before landing back in its place. 

“So...that wasn’t a joke” Zoe whispered. “Everything you said...it was real?” 

“Yes” Connor nodded. “Alana could confirm.” 

“Who else knows” Zoe asked. 

“Jared, Jeremy, and Michael” Connor answered. “I’m surprised you aren’t freaking out.” 

“Well...I’ve been having weird dreams” Zoe sighed. “I just...they were fuzzy. But the one thing I remember was you being dead and it scared me so badly Connor.” 

•Good news, this reality is meant for Connor to survive.• 

“And that’s the god” Zoe squeaked. 

•I’m Becca. I usually stay quiet unless spoken to. This is the first time I’ve spoken up today.• 

“Okay” Zoe nodded. “I’m gonna save the freaking out for a proper time.” 

•Sounds good.• 

Cynthia clamored through the door with Larry. They both had bags covering their arms. Evan instantly looked to the floor. 

“What’s Evan doing here” Cynthia asked. 

“I uh...came to help you out” Evan chuckled nervously. 

“What happened to your face” Larry wondered. 

“I...I fell” Evan lied. “I’m okay though. Honest.” 

“Thank you for coming to help dear” Cynthia grinned. “Larry is off to go grab the machines. I have to go check orders on coffee grounds. Have fun, don’t destroy the place.” 

The partents left the bags on the floor and were out the door in an instant. With Evan’s help they finished furnishing the room and decorating. 

“What’s the place going to be called” Evan hummed, readjusting a ficus tree. 

“That’s the best part” Connor snorted. “Sincerely Me!” 

Evan burst out laughing with Connor. They both fell to the floor and Evan dropped his ice pack. 

“Dear Evan Hansen, life at rehab is alright” Connor sang through his laughter. “I like the yoga. And the sharing circles every night!” 

“But dude these stories sometimes scare you half to death” Evan giggled. “So many people end up sucking dick for meth.” 

“What’s so funny” Zoe blanked. 

[•This!•](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7AiX_-jfawY) 

“Holy shit” Zoe wheezed. “The Harry Potter one! Oh my god!” 

“One of us” Connor chanted. “One of us!” 

“We aren’t that crazy Connor” Evan chuckled. 

“Do you have anything on Jeremy” Zoe asked. 

[•Umm...this isn’t from the musical but...•](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=g33mQ-cNadA) 

“WHAT THE HELL BECCA” Connor cried. 

“Give Zoe something from the musical” Evan begged. 

[•I’m sorry.•](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gnQUUaESbbM) 

“His knees” Evan squeaked. “The knees!” 

•Okay, no more.• 

“I’m designing the logo” Connor grinned. “It’s not done yet though.” 

“Thanks for finding me on the street Zoe” Evan sighed. “I appreciate the help.” 

Suddenly Jeremy was standing in the coffee shop. Zoe took a step back, but just ignored the issue. 

“That said to give it an hour before I went looking for you” Jeremy explained. “You...you need to come back.” 

“My mom slapped me across the face” Evan frowned. “I’m not going back. She’ll see me tonight unless she’s working.” 

“Evan” Jeremy sighed. “I get that you’re mad, but your mom is a mess.” 

“Then she can come apologize” Connor stated. “His face is bruised. No one should have to be hurt that way.” 

“Fine” Jeremy grumbled, speeding out the door. 

“You okay Ev” Connor murmured. 

“I should be” Evan nodded. 

Connor wrapped Evan in a hug and Evan sighed into the taller boy’s chest. Connor rubbed circles into Evan’s back and slowly spun around around the room. 

“There should just be a chapter where you and I get stoned” Connor whispered. 

“That’s not my choice” Evan mumbled. “And we both know that Jeremy and Michael would be there too.” 

“True” Connor sighed. “Love you Ev.” 

“Love you Connor” Evan grinned. 

“You’re so fucking gay” Zoe gagged. 

“You have a girlfriend” Connor recalled. “You’re gay too.” 

“Yeah, but I’m not as gay as you” Zoe retorted. “Uhh, Ev. Your mom is here.” 

Heidi walked in the door and glanced at the Murphy siblings before locking eyes with Evan. Evan could feel her eyes looking at his cheek. 

“Come on Evan” Heidi mumbled. 

Evan went into the break room and grabbed his jacket. Connor planted a kiss to Evan’s hair before the boy got over to Heidi. 

“Bye” Evan waved. 

“Later” Zoe smiled. 

“Bye Ev” Connor sighed. 

Evan climbed into Heidi’s car and let her drive him home. Heidi sat Evan down on the couch once they were inside. 

“It’s time to talk” Heidi whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •ZOE’S HERE!!•  
> -Hey!-  
> •New key is...•  
> “Evan.”  
> ~Jeremy.~  
> +Michael.+  
> ^Connor.^  
> #Jared.#  
> =Alana.=  
> -Zoe!-  
> •And me. There we go, have a good day/night or whatever time zone you’re in right now!•


	24. Talking, Maybe Some Shouting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> •Evan and Heidi finally talk things out 97% like civil people.•

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •Heidi and Mr. Heere will not become aware this chapter. I just added Zoe and don’t want to rush into more characters when they aren’t ready. I know that is part of what was expected of this chapter, but I’m just not ready for it yet. Sorry in advance if you were hoping for it.•

_(I_read_fanfics inspired chapter. Finally what was actually requested in the first place.)_

**Talking, Maybe Some Shouting**

Heidi walked into the kitchen and Evan nodded to Jeremy. The other teen zoomed out the door and Evan watched his friends appear one at a time. 

•I’m now realizing that I could have teleported them.• 

“Too late” Jeremy grinned, releasing Jared from his hold. 

“Umm” Heidi trailed off, walking back into the room. “What’s this?” 

“Your talk involves all of us Ms. Hansen” Alana explaines. “It’s only fair that we are all around for it. Where is Mr. Heere?” 

“Someone say my name” Mr. Heere called, poking his head out of the kitchen. 

“Apparently we all are needed for me and Evan’s talk” Heidi muttered. “I hope you kids realize that this is a family matter.” 

“We pretty much are a family” Jared shrugged. “That’s how the aware are treated, like family. I’m the comedic relief, we’ve got the three gay couples, and all the friendships that are added to that. So if it’s a family matter, it involves all of us.” 

“That’s probably the smartest thing you’ve ever said” Zoe nodded. 

“Well, I warned you” Heidi muttered. “Everyone sit.” 

The six other teens found seats on the floor and Connor just kept standing. Mr. Heere sat on the chair and looked around at the kids. 

“Where do I even start” Heidi groaned. 

“How about you slapping your son across the face so hard that his cheek is bruised” Connor offered, venom hinting in his voice. 

“That’s a privet matter” Heidi stated. “How about, since this actually involves you, why Evan isn’t home unless I force him to stay home?” 

“If he doesn’t have anyone home with him, what’s the point of staying alone” Jeremy asked. “If I was Evan, I probably would have done the same thing. I would have ran off to Michael’s every night.” 

“It would have been fine if it was Jared” Heidi warned. “And if he told me. But Evan was running off to the Murphy’s house, your house, everywhere. And I didn’t hear of it.” 

“When I jumped” Evan whispered. “I wasn’t really thinking. But I felt so alone. I just started climbing and when I couldn’t find another branch to climb to...I just let go. And part of me thought, part of me hoped, I hoped that someone would notice me. Maybe wonder where I went, where I was at, I hoped that someone would come looking for me. But I sat on the ground for ten minutes and not a single person cared. I could have been dead, and no one would have noticed.” 

“So surrounding yourself with people was your way of blocking out how alone you felt” Connor finished, running a hand through Evan’s hair. 

“Why do you think that no one loves you Evan” Heidi asked. “It was in one of the letters.” 

“I don’t think that anymore” Evan mumbled. “But it’s hard knowing that the only reason you care about me is because your my mom. If you were an aunt, you wouldn’t have cared about me. You just feel obliged to take care of me, and don’t deny it because I know it’s true.” 

Heidi stated quiet. Evan spotted Alana covering her mouth with her hand. Connor walked around the side of the couch and sat down next to Evan on his right side. Evan interlocked their fingers before continuing. 

“It’s like...the worst thing ever sometimes” Evan chuckled. “When I know that if someone was to ask me who I love more, my boyfriend or my mom, I would say my mom. But when asked why, my answer would be ‘because she’s my mom’ instead of something about caring about you. So if the only answer I can give is ‘because she’s my mom’ you can guarantee that I’m lying.” 

“And why do you love Connor” Zoe asked. 

“I love Connor because he cares” Evan smiled. “He’s shown on multiple occasions that he’d drop everything and put his life on hold for me. I know he’d always be ther for me. Connor listens to what I have to say and I don’t feel like it’s forced when it’s my turn to listen. Connor deals with me and my issues even when he might need help with his own. Connor is like a messed up reflection of myself. And I’m a messed up reflection of him. We just...fit.” 

“What about Heidi” Joseph sighed. “Why do you love her?” 

“I don’t...I don’t think I do” Evan mumbled. “Love her that is. At least not right now. It’s not like I don’t try. Mom...provides for me. And...she gets me to therapy. But...it feels forced, it always has. And while I could go on the whole So Big/So Small argument, that was more of a spur of the moment thing. It probably hurts, being told that your kid doesn’t love you, but I just can’t find a real reason to. Right now anyways. I did love Mom. I did. But...not right now. I still care about mom, I’d be upset if something happened to her, but...it isn’t love.” 

“We’ll shit Evan” Heidi cracked. “I’m sorry that I’ve been working my ass off for your sake.” 

“You’ve barely seen me for two months” Evan cried. 

“Because I’ve been working-” 

“YOU SPEND MORE TIME WITH MR. HEERE THAN YOU DO WITH ME! IVE BEEN NEGLECTED FOR TWO MONTHS! HOW MANY OF THOSE CLASSES YOU WERE AT WERE ACTUALLY YOU SPENDING TIME WITH HIM? PROBABLY MORE THEN I WOULD WANT TO KNOW ABOUT! RIGHT?” 

“Evan, let go of your arms” Michael demanded. 

Evan had been digging his nails into his arms. Evan released his hands and the crescent moon shaped marks started to bleed. Connor shot up and grabbed bandages. Once Evan was wrapped up Connor handed Evan the red stress ball and sat down. The others just stared at Connor, even Heidi. 

“What” Connor blanked. 

“You didn’t question him” Jared frowned. “If It were any of us, we would have asked Evan if he was okay, if he needed anything. You just...wrapped him up.” 

“Poking at it just makes it worse” Connor shrugged, grabbing Evan’s right hand. “I’ve been there, I know. Evan needed bandages, I got the bandages. No need for questions. Evan needed something to occupy his hands, I gave him a stress ball to play with. If Evan hurt himself involuntarily, he clearly isn’t okay, so don’t ask. Get what you need, get what needs to be done, done. Fix the problem before it gets worse. Being treated like your broken only makes you feel worse.” 

Evan just nodded. Connor worded it perfectly. 

“Part of the reason I’m getting married is you Evan” Heidi whispered. “Yes, I love Joe, no questioning it. But I also knew that if there were two people supporting the family then I would be able to spend more time with you. I wouldn’t have to work as much. That’s why I took up the extra hours. I was making money for the wedding so once everything happened life would be on track.” 

“I proposed yesterday” Joseph frowned. 

“I could sense it” Heidi chuckled. “Evan, I know that I’m not the best mom, but I’m trying-” 

“I never wanted the best mom” Evan choked out. “I just wanted a mom that would take the time of day to care about me.” 

“We can discuss what needs to change later” Heidi sighed. “Is there anything else?” 

“Why’d you hit Evan” the Murphy siblings demanded. 

“That would be nice to know” Michael nodded. 

“Ugh” Heidi muttered. “I have never had to even think of that before today. I just...didn’t know how to handle the situation. Evan wasn’t listening and I wasn’t listening but as mom I felt superior to him so I shut him up. I didn’t even realize what I did until Evan ran out the door. I told Jeremy to give him an hour to come back on his own before searching for him. I-I didn’t want to. Never would I even thing of hurting Evan like that. After what his father did...no. I don’t blame Evan for running off. That was a fuck up on my part.” 

“Can I ask what he did” Alana whispered. “Evan’s father.” 

“He uh...he abused me” Evan chuckled, trying to hold back tears. “I’d show up to school in sweaters despite warm weather to hide bruises. But uh...when I was seven. About a month before he left...I uh...he, he put me in...I was in the hospital.” Evan sniffed and wiped his eyes on his sleeve. “He...he broke three of my ribs. He actually picked me up and threw me against a wall. Mom couldn’t afford the lawyer so...we never filed for child abuse or anything. We just stayed quiet and hoped things would get better. Then he left and I don’t think I’d ever felt that sad before...it was different then depression...it was, disappointment. I thought it was my fault. I was disappointed that he left us. I was scared that Mom would leave and I would be alone.” 

“Oh god” Michael whispered. 

“Thank you for letting us stay with for the chat Ms. Hansen” Alana mumbled. “We appreciate it. C’mon guys.” 

“I’ll show you guys out” Jeremy jumped, pulling on his ring. 

“Thank you too kids” Heidi smiled. “I think having you here helped not make it a screaming match.” 

Heidi disappeared into the kitchen again with Mr. Heere and Evan grabbed Connor’s hands. 

“You tell me if it gets bad over here, okay” Connor demanded. “I’ll be over in a heartbeat and get you out of here.” 

“Okay” Evan nodded, handing the stress ball back. “Love you.” 

“Love you too Evan” Connor murmured, pecking the shorter boy’s lips. “Stay safe.” 

Connor walked out the door and Jeremy zoned him away before returning in the blink of an eye. Jeremy took off his ring before ushering Evan upstairs. 

“We have to redo our room” Jeremy explained. “I actually like the color, so we don’t need to paint it. But furniture needs to be rearranged.” 

“I’ll take the window side, you get the bathroom side” Evan offered. “That way I’m near my plants.” 

“Works for me” Jeremy grinned. 

Evan slipped on his own ring and moved his bed against the wall. Evan adjusted the desk to move over a bit more, and Evan’s tiny bookshelf was pushed into the corner. 

Jeremy put his ring back on and zoomed around the room, assembling his bed and pushing it into the opposite corner as Evan’s. Jeremy’s desk was put the room from Evan’s and Jeremy moved his little nightstand over next to the bed. 

“This isn’t going to work” Evan frowned. “We’ve got another dresser to get in here still.” And mine is not going to stay where it is.” 

So Evan turned his bed a different direction, moved his desk over near the window, and put his dresser where his desk was. Evan used his telekinesis to life Jeremy’s dresser into the room and put it next to his own. Everything was in place, and the room still felt open. 

“Do we keep the rug” Evan asked. 

“I like it” Jeremy smiled, nudging the grey rug. “It’s soft, and it looks nice. I’m gonna unload my stuff.” 

Evan watched Jeremy zip around the room and watched the now empty boxes pile on the floor. Jeremy was done in under a minute. He even had his space themed bedding on the mattress.

“You can tell who’s stuff is who’s” Evan chuckled, noting to his own bed with a baby blue sham. 

“At least we both have wooden headboards” Jeremy noted. 

“True” Evan nodded. 

[•My horrible drawing of the floor plan.•](https://beccathebiscuitbaker.tumblr.com/post/176636584051/okay-for-the-newest-chapter-of-awareness-evan)

“Boys” Mr. Heere called. “I’m gonna help you rearrange...the...room. You did it already? You’ve been up here for five minutes.” 

“Well” Jeremy drawled. “I just guessed what side of the room Evan wanted and I guessed right. It wasn’t that hard. We work together well.” 

“I’m proud” Joseph grinned. “And it still looks open in here. Where’s the desk chair Jeremy?” 

“Oh” Jeremy jumped. “It’s in the car still.” 

“You have a desk chair” Evan gasped. “I’ve been using a folding chair for years.” 

“Yeah” Jeremy nodded. “It’s simple. Just grey. Nothing big.” 

“I still have my desk chair from when I was working from home” Mr. Heere recalled. “I’ll make sure to get it to you Evan. It’s the same as Jeremy’s.” 

“Thank you Mr. Heere” Evan smiled. “I appreciate it.” 

“C’mon Jeremy” Joseph chuckled. “Go get your chair so we can make another trip. Evan, Heidi wants to talk to you while we’re gone.” 

Evan nodded and Mr. Heere walked back downstairs. Evan grabbed his new ficus and placed it in between the two dressers. It was the perfect spot to get sun during the afternoon. Jeremy came zooming back into the room with his desk chair and rolled across the wood floor on it. Until the chair tripped on the rug and he fell. 

“I’m good” Jeremy laughed, putting the chair into place. “See ya soon Evan.” 

Jeremy walked down to leave with his father and Evan trotted down to see Heidi. His mother was sitting at the table with a cup of tea in front of her. One was set out for Evan too. Evan took his seat and looked to Heidi. 

“I’m proud of you for telling them what he did to you” Heidi grinned. “I know it’s hard. And I’m sorry for not being the mom that I should have been.” 

“I’m sorry for not loving you” Evan mumbled. “I try, I do. But all I think about is negative things and I...I’m sorry mom.” 

“It’s okay sweetheart” Heidi assured. “I get it. I understand. It’s just something we need to work on, yeah?” 

“Yeah” Evan nodded. 

“What needs to change” Heidi asked. “What needs to change so you can be happy. What do I need to do?” 

“Just...keep your promises” Evan begged. “Don’t say that we’ll have taco night and then not have taco night. Let me socialize, I get that I’ve done some bad stuff...but I have friends for once. And it’s nice to have friends. Let me hang out with them. Please.” 

“Of course honey” Heidi whispered. “Evan, you aren’t a burden. You didn’t ruin my life. I’m just a mom who doesn’t know how to handle kids some days.” 

“Can I also get a new therapist” Evan asked. “Dr. Sherman is great at her job, but she doesn’t quite work well with me. I’d feel better if it was someone else. So we can try something new.” 

“I’ll get that done” Heidi agreed. “How about we start doing therapy once a week instead of every two weeks just to make sure?” 

“I was just about to say that” Evan chuckled. 

The two stayed quiet as they finished their tea. Evan grabbed Heidi’s cup and rinsed it out to put in the dishwasher. When Evan turned around Heidi held out her arms for a hug. Evan stepped forward and embraced his mother. Evan didn’t like how he had grown so much taller than her. Evan was five foot eleven and Heidi was five foot five. He was half a foot taller than his mom. 

“I love you Evan” Heidi whispered. “You don’t have to say anything back. I just feel like you should know.” 

Evan nodded and pulled back from the hug. Heidi pressed a kiss to her sons forehead, she had to stand on her toes to reach, and squeezed his arm before stepping back. 

“Does it look that bad” Evan questioned, pointing to his cheek. “Cause this just proves that you’re strong. This proves that Heidi Hansen could slap her way out of an argument.” 

“It’s a nasty bruise” Heidi tsked. “But it doesn’t look that bad.” 

•I’ll accelerate your healing so it’s better by the end of the school week.• 

“Okay” Evan sighed. “Hey, Mom.” 

“Yeah” Heidi hummed, glancing up. 

“I...care about you” Evan stated. “Don’t think I don’t. Jut because I’m...”

“I get it” Heidi smiled. “And I love you Evan.” 

Evan bounced back up to his room and watered his plants. Evan knew he didn’t love his mom again yet, but he started to feel like he could. As long as they kept working on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •Tumblr: @beccathebiscuitbaker•
> 
> -That went pretty well.-  
> =I won’t say that it couldn’t have gone better, but yeah...the shouting was kept at a minimum.=  
> ^Lets just be happy that Evan isn’t fighting with anyone now.^  
> #I would have expected you to want angry sex out of Evan.#  
> ^Shit! Now you tell me!^  
> +CONNOR NO! NOT IN THIS HOLY HOUSEHOLD!+  
> ^Ohana means family. And family means no one gets left alone at the mental institute.^  
> ~If that doesn’t describe us I don’t know what does.~  
> •This is what I’ve created with my life...•


	25. Welcome to My Shitty School

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •I’m probably gonna start uploading every other day because I have dance and dance makes me crabby and when I’m crabby I don’t want to write and I don’t have the time because I have a bedtime again BECAUSE DANCE STARTS AT EIGHT IN THE MORNING!•  
> “I’m sure they can handle every other day uploads.”  
> •I hope so. BTW THIS IS FROM JEREMYS POINT OF VIEW MOSTLY!•  
> “The title has nothing to do with the chapter. She just wanted to put that down.”

_(I_read_fanfics inspired chapter)_

**Welcome to my Shitty School**

Jeremy woke up to someone shaking his shoulder. Jeremy cracked open his eyes and found Ms. Hansen smiling at him. Evan was already sitting up in bed. 

“Time to get ready for school boys” Heidi hummed. “Joe already left. I have class today, so I will be home a bit late, but I’ll be back for dinner. I’ll meet you downstairs. Evan?” 

“Dear Evan Hansen, today’s going to be a good day” Evan yawned. “Do I still need to do that?” 

“You meet your new therapist tomorrow” Heidi chuckled. “She’s very nice. From what I can tell. We can talk downstairs. Get ready.” 

“You can take the bathroom” Evan mumbled, tripping over the rug on his way to his dresser. “I shower at night.” 

“Okay” Jeremy smiled, climbing out of bed. “Thanks Ev.” 

Evan just nodded and waited for Jeremy to get into the bathroom so he could change. Jeremy took a quick shower and walked down the creaky stairs for breakfast. Heidi handed Jeremy a slice of peanut butter toast. 

“I’m allergic to peanuts” Jeremy stated. 

“Shit! Sorry” Heidi jumped, passing the toast to Evan. “Ev, here are your meds. Don’t forget about meeting Dr. Moon tomorrow. Ask Jared or Connor to take you. I was gonna, but I couldn’t get off. I did ask though.” 

“I don’t expect the changes to be instant Mom” Evan groaned, eating his toast. “Just...try.” 

“Okay” Heidi sighed. “I’m off to class, I love you. Bye kids!” 

“Bye” Jeremy called, grabbing a granola bar. 

“Bye” Evan waved. 

The two boys managed to get ready for school in record time and Evan was able to get some tea made for both of them. Jeremy never had tea before, but if Evan thought it would calm him, okay.” 

“Here you go” Evan smiled, handing Jeremy the thermos. 

Jeremy accepted the tea and went to organizing some boxes empty boxes while they waited to get to school. When a car horn honked Evan and Jeremy walked out the door. Connor waved them into his car. 

“Me and Michael devised a system” Connor announced. “Since it’s out of his way completely to pick Jeremy up it’s my job to get both of you to school. But after school, Jeremy goes with Michael and you guys do whatever you do until you are ready to go home. I tackle Evan. And Alana drives Zoe, so everything is happy.” 

“And hello to you too” Evan chuckled, pecking his boyfriend on the cheek. 

“Sorry” Connor muttered, catching Evan’s lips before driving off. 

“Ready to meet Veronica” Jeremy asked. 

“I just hope she’s as badass as I think she is” Connor said. 

•She’s hella badass. The movie is on Netflix, watch it.• 

The rest of the drive was filled with idle chatter from the three teens. Once Connor parked the car he gave his cousin a side hug before grabbing Evan’s hand and running to meet Alana. Apparently he was talking with Veronica first. Jeremy just shook his head and walked towards the building. 

“Hey Becca” Jeremy mumbled, keeping his voice down to keep people from thinking that he was crazy. “If me and Connor are cousins, and I’m basically Evan’s stepbrother, am I also his cousin?” 

•Tecnically your Connor’s second cousin. And your mother is his cousin on Cynthia’s side of the family. Just adding his in there your mother, in my world, was adopted. When your mom left, your dad grew close with his ex-sister-in-law and that’s how it turned out. So...no. You are just Evan’s stepbrother. And if Connor and Evan were to get married, you’d be Connor’s brother and his cousin. Weird, right? But you and Connor aren’t related by blood, since your mom was adopted, so don’t worry about like...that weird stuff. Like incest. You and Evan aren’t related by blood either, so still no incest. That’s not what’s happening, I planned this out long ago Jeremy.• 

“Thanks Becca” Jeremy hummed, searching the crowd for Michael. 

Jeremy waved at the Squip squad, they were a little mad at Jeremy at the moment, he ended up telling them that they were under a super computers control and not doing drugs at the play the year prior, so he understood why. Jake and Rich waved back and Jeremy spotted Michael. He had a slushy in his hands. 

“You said you’d wait” Jeremy groaned. 

“I made sure Veronica didn’t see it” Michael shushed. “I was driving past 7/11 and was like...fuck it. What are you drinking?” 

“Tea” Jeremy shrugged. “Evan said it helps with his anxiety, he made some for both of us. If you find him he probably has some too.” 

“Let’s just get to class Jere-Bear” Michael whispered, planting a kiss on the lanky boy’s cheek. 

The day was a bit of a blur, Jeremy zoned out at lunch while Jared was explaining something about backdating emails. It was finally snowing, perfect timing for Thanksgiving break next week. By eighth hour Jeremy was completely chil-I mean-calm. He expected to be nervous to meet Veronica, but he wasn’t. Tea did wonders, but Jeremy’s brain was slower. Jeremy didnt know that Evan laced it with weed he stole from Connor, Evan just wanted to see what would happen.

Jeremy walked into the library and found a girl with raven hair sitting at a table. The girl was wearing mostly blue and black, and for some reason she had a skirt on despite the cold. But she was rocking the blue stalkings so...whatever. 

“Are you Jeremy” the girl asked. 

“Yeah” Jeremy nodded. “Veronica Sawyer?” 

“That’s my name” Veronica grinned. “Okay, this is simple. I’ll ask you some questions, and you answer. At the end, I’ll think of something to help. But your cousin did say something about no writing letters to yourself.” 

“His boyfriend has a bad history with them” Jeremy explained. “It’s a long story.”

•Two hours if we’re being a bit more precise.• 

“Okay” Veronica nodded. “Jeremy, what is your least favorite thing about yourself?” 

“I hate how I’m hopeful” Jeremy stated. “I kept hoping that things would change, and they didn’t for a long time. I basically resorted to drugs at one point and it just ruined my life. But...I’ve got some great friends who helped me out and now I’m better. But I keep hoping that my mom will come back. I know she won’t, and now my dad is engaged to a great lady, but...” 

“You wish she cared” Veronica asked. 

“Yeah” Jeremy mumbled. 

“Okay, good” Veronica hummed. “How is your relationship with your father?” 

“Better than it has been in years” Jeremy smiled. “My dad didn’t wear pants for the longest time. Now he does every day. And we talk, we get along. I’m not as embarrassed to be his son as I was a year ago.” 

“Alright. Final question, what problems do you have? Connor mentioned that he has bipolar depression, but isn’t getting treated for it. You?” 

“Umm...insomnia, anxiety, little bits of depression here and there, it’s not often, it goes away and comes back, and a really weird form of PTSD if you will from when I was...drugged.” 

“Okay” Veronica mumbled. “My suggestion to you is to talk some of your issues over with your family, try and get some therapy in. I’m not qualified to actually do anything, but hey, you clearly need it. And if you feel like it...get a comfort object. If you ever feel stressed, you can hold onto the object and it’ll help you calm down. Maybe it’s a smell. Connor said he loves the smell of tea and apples because it reminds him of his boyfriend and his mom. That’s all I can offer until we meet again.” 

“Thank you Veronica” Jeremy grinned. 

“No problem” Veronica sighed. “I owe it to the world for the mistakes I made.” 

“What happened” Jeremy asked. 

“Umm...my best friend died” Veronica whispered. “I-I don’t really want to get into the details. But I didn’t...murder her. If you’re wondering. But, she’s dead because of me.” 

“Sorry for asking” Jeremy jumped. “But...I get it. I kinda drugged my friends...so, I get how you feel.” 

“Trust me Jermey, what happened to me was way different than getting stoned” Veronica chuckled. “Have a good afternoon.” 

Jeremy waved to the girl and walked back to his study hall. Conveniently he shared his study hall with Evan, Michael, and Zoe. Connor, Jared, and Alana were in a different study hall, but they were together. Michael waved Jeremy over to the aware table, since apparently they were the ‘aware’ now. 

•It’s like the Squip squad, but different.• 

“Happy anniversary Jere” Michael hummed, planting something on the table. 

“It’s a dolphin” Jeremy blanked. 

“Cause your fur-sona is a dolphin” Michael grinned. 

“You’re a furry” Zoe snorted. 

“No” Jeremy cried. 

“He has a dolphin suit somewhere” Michael smirked. “Do you want me to take the dolphin back?” 

“No, I love it his name is Carl” Jeremy smiled. 

Evan perked up from his homework when Connor walked into the room. Jeremy sensed that his brother could tell when he was in the room by how his feet sounded when he walked. Jeremy was like that with Michael. Connor walked over to Evan and whispered something in his ear. 

“No” Evan hissed. “That’s just-why?” 

“Cause Veronica wrote me a fake hall pass in exchange for a joint” Connor whispered. 

“What” Zoe jumped. 

“You know I still smoke” Connor drawled. “Don’t act surprised. Becca just doesn’t care.” 

•I do. But it keeps your anger in check.• 

“Fine” Evan caved, a blush growing on his cheeks. 

Connor grinned and pulled Evan out of the room. Zoe looked concerned. 

“What are they-” 

“Fucking in a bathroom” Michael shushed. “It’s okay, people do t all the time.” 

“God” Zoe muttered, scratching a pencil across her paper. 

Jeremy reached into his bag and handed Michael a beanie.

“Sounds gay? I’m in” Michael read. “Thanks Jere.” 

“Happy anniversary” Jeremy murmured. 

“Connor’s taking all of us to the orchard on Friday” Zoe stated. “Be prepared.” 

“Can’t wait” Michael grinned. 

 

_(Switch to Connor’s POV because why the hell not)_

 

Connor drove Evan back to his house after school. His parents wanted to properly meet his boyfriend. Connor was surprised they cared. 

“Is that why you fucked me in a bathroom” Evan blanked. “I’ve met your parents Connor, they aren’t that bad.” 

“You met my mourning parents” Connor corrected. “I’m not dead anymore Ev. Also, we clearly have a problem if we’ve fucked in a bathroom twice.” 

“Let’s not talk about that” Evan sighed. 

“Okay” Connor hummed, grabbing Evan’s hand. “Love you.” 

“Love you too” Evan grinned. 

“Still can’t believe you laced my cousins tea with weed, that’s just weird.” 

Evan just shrugged.

Connors phone started blaring and he had Evan answer it. He refused to text and drive. Or anything along those lines, he was a safe driver.

“Hello, this is Connor’s phone” Evan answered. “Okay then. Thank you Mrs. Murphy.” 

“What’s the prognosis” Connor asked. 

“We are to head to Sincerely Me to meet your mom” Evan announced. “That’s where she is. Your dad is working still.” 

Connnor drove off to the small coffee shop and pulled Evan inside. His mom was wiping down the windows. The new logo was almost ready. Cynthia wrapped Evan in a hug and frowned at his cheek. 

“It’s healing well” Cynthia muttered. “Sorry for fussing, I usually don’t get to play mom with Connor.” 

“Yes you do Mom” Connor groaned. 

“When” Cynthia challenged. 

“I...never mind” Connor mumbled, rubbing a hand down his arm. 

“It’s nice to meet you Evan” Cynthia chuckled. “How long have you and Connor been dating?” 

“Over two months” Evan stated. 

“We suck at anniversaries Ev” Connor chuckled. 

“I’m new with all the sexualities” Cynthia muttered. “I understand gay and lesbian, but Connor said that you’re something else. What is it?” 

“Bisexual” Evan said. “It’s where you like both girls and guys. Some people have a preference, I’m pretty 50/50. Zoe is also bi.” 

“Got it” Cynthia nodded. “And there are more?” 

“Asexual is when you aren’t sexually attracted to anyone” Connor explained. “When I was figuring things out still I thought I was ace, but that’s because I was only looking at girls. Pansexual is when you like all genders, yes there is more than two. Aromatic is when you aren’t romantically attracted to anyone. There are people who identify as aro ace, I could go on for ages mom.” 

“If you’re really interested in it I would google some sexualities” Evan mumbled. 

“I was just curious” Cynthia smiled. “Evan, when did you realize you were bisexual?” 

“Umm...I had a crush on a girl for a long time. But then I met this guy that I was also attracted to and...I just figured it out.” 

•Meaning I told you.• 

“Connor” Cynthia hummed. 

“I realized I was gay when I disgusted by the idea of being with a girl and I saw the second Captain America movie” Connor mumbled. “I fourteen.” 

“Well I’m glad I understand it now” Cynthia grinned, pecking Connor’s cheek. 

“How long until the shop opens” Evan asked. 

“Friday is when I start looking for employees” Cynthia sighed. “But Connor over here is over the moon about it and is demanding to be manager.” 

“Mom, that was privet” Connor hissed. 

“Oh hush” Cynthia laughed. 

“I wanna be a barista okay” Connor whined. “Mom, do you realize how much fun I would have here? Dad refuses to let me go to art school, even though I practically have a fully paid scholarship in the bag. Let me be a barista.” 

“You’re able to go to any school you want Connor” Cynthia assured. “What do you want to do Evan?” 

“If my social anxiety wasn’t so horrible” Evan chuckled. “I’d love to be a biology teacher. Anything to do with plants, really.” 

“Evan is a tree expert” Connor added. 

“I’m glad you two are together” Cynthia beamed. “I’ve never seen you this happy Connor. And...I was worried during the summer. So...thank you Evan, you gave me my son back.” 

“It wasn’t just me” Evan whispered. 

Cynthia wrapped both teens in a hug. Connor rolled his eyes but hugged her back. Evan sank into her embrace and the three spent the next hour chatting. Connor was glad that things were turning out, he needed this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •Happy quarter done!•  
> #aka 25/100 chapters.#  
> •Sorry for the weird ending, I couldn’t figure out how to end it.•


	26. Back to the Orchard

_(I_read_fanfics inspired chapter)_

**Back to the Orchard**

Evan was in the car with his six friends. Connor had asked to borrow Cynthia’s minivan so everyone could fit. Evan was in the passenger seat with Connor driving. Jeremy, Michael, and Jared were in the middle, and Galaxy Girls were in the back. And obviously, the author is going places throughout the day because dance practice is annoying. 

“What are you doing right now Becca” Zoe asked. 

•Trying in dance uniforms. I’ve got this red sparkle top that is SOOOOOO itchy.• 

“Y’all know I rock red sparkles” Jared smirked. 

•OKAY SO ITS LIKE...TEN HOURS LATER FOR ME NOW BECAUSE DANCE IS A BITCH AND THEN I WAS CLEANING AND I WENT SWIMMING IN MY POOL FOR AN HOUR AND IM JUST DEAD TIRED.• 

“We’re here” Connor announced. 

Evan stepped out of the car and pulled on the real hoodie he basically stole from Connor at this point. Alana found the gate again, but it was frozen shut. Michael slipped on his ring and shrunk down to slip through a hole in the chain link fence. 

•My phone keeps correcting Evan to Megan and I’ve changed it like...twenty times now.• 

“That sucks” Connor muttered. “Evan, be magical and use your ring to get to get us over.” 

Evan pulled on his ring and lifted his remaining friends over the fence, then himself. Connor pulled Evan away from the others and they ended up racing back to the log they say at on their first date. Evan maneuvered better in snow and actually won. 

“I’m breaking the no asshole rule for a second” Jared yelled. “THATS FUCKING GAY!” 

“YOU BET IT IS” Evan screamed back. 

Evan sat down next to Connor and didn’t talk. Connor had been acting off throughout the day, and Evan didn’t want to question him. 

“What” Connor asked. “You’re picking at your sleeves, you only do that when you’re worried.” 

“YouvejustseemedofftodayandImworried” Evan gasped. 

“Ugh” Connor muttered. “Look, my dad has been yelling at me to apply to more schools when I have a school picked out. He’s...embarrassed that I want to go to art school, and we’ve just been fighting more. And then...I dunno, I just...blamed myself? I got into the head space of deserving pain and needing to hurt. I tried not to, but...I couldn’t stop myself.” 

Connor took off his hoodie and showed Evan the wrapping on his arm. Evan just checked to make sure the bandages were tight enough before letting Connor throw his hoodie back on. 

“It’s not your fault” Evan whispered. “I promise.” 

“Yeah, well he hasn’t yelled at me for being gay” Connor offered. “I think he can tell that you’re good for me.” 

“I have my first therapy appointment with Dr. Moon on Sunday” Evan hummed. “She was super nice. She seemed more fit for teenagers.” 

“I’m glad you like her” Connor grinned. “How’s it going with your mom? I know you don’t like talking about it but...it’s important.” 

“She’s been home for dinner every night this week” Evan smiled. “But me and Jeremy won’t even be home tonight, so we told her that she should take her night class tonight.”

•Sorry for interrupting But it’s now the next morning for me! I feel so bad for not posting yesterday.• 

“Would have been a horrible chapter” Connor recalled. “Just ending it with Evan talking about his mom?” 

•Okay, yeah. Bye!• 

“She needs to sort out her priorities” Evan mumbled. 

“I don’t know if that was a compliment to us or an insult to her, but either way I’m proud” Connor snorted. 

“Should we get back to the others” Evan asked. “We has our heart to heart.” 

“Sure” Connor chuckled. “C’mon babe, I think my ass is frozen.” 

The couple stood up and walked back to the other five. Jared was attempting to climb a tree, Jeremy and Michael were watching with huge smirks on their faces, and the Galaxy Girls were cuddling on the ground. 

“Jared you suck at climbing trees” Connor called. 

“Better than you fools” Jared stated. 

“Highly doubt it” Connor frowned. “Ev, show him how it’s done.” 

Evan handed Connor his ring and quickly scurried up the tree. Jared watched from the branch he was hanging on as Evan climbed a good twenty feet above him. 

“Get told” Michael laughed. 

Jared let go of the branch and dropped to the ground. Evan climbed down and landed with two times the grace of Jared. 

“How do you guys like Veronica” Alana asked. 

“Dude, she’s so cool” Jeremy grinned. “She has a late 80s early 90s vibe hat really fits her.” 

“Talking about me?” 

Evan turned around and waved at Veronica. The girl walked over to Jeremy and slung an arm around his shoulders. 

“Hey Veronica” Zoe hummed. 

“Hello everyone” Veronica greeted. “Becca, how are you?” 

•I’m fantastic, thanks for asking.• 

“WAIT HOLD THE PHONE” Jared cried. 

“You know” Alana blanked. 

“I’ve known the whole time” Veronica shrugged. “Becca did transport me from 1989 after all. I just...didn’t know the details on you guys.” 

•And because Veronica isn’t a huge character I gave her powers like Evan and Boyf Riends. She can teleport anywhere, it’s her stockings.• 

“Sorry for intirupting your date” Veronica chuckled. 

“It’s not really a date if Kleinman’s here” Connor muttered. 

“Aww, you love me Murphy” Jared sang. 

“No. I really don’t” Connor assured. 

Veronica randomly vanished and Evan just shrugged it off. He was staring to get used to the weird shit. 

The group stayed at the orchard for another half hour before starting the trip home. Connor was tired of driving so Michael drove back. And Connor being Connor demanded to sit next to Evan. Evan just rolled his eyes and switched places with Jeremy. Safe to say Connor was asleep in five minutes. 

The group stopped for dinner on the way back home and that basically meant that Jeremy ran into a 7/11 and grabbed all the candy he could find. Evan had to stifle a laugh when Jeremy walked onto the pavement and slipped on a patch of ice. Thankfully the only boy wasn’t hurt and all the snacks survived. 

After everyone was silenced with candy the others started dozing off. Jared was snoring lightly with his face pressed against the window, Connor was asleep with his head on Evan’s shoulder, and the girls were just a tangle of limbs. 

Evan had to wake Connor up when they pulled into Michael’s driveway, Zoe refused to drive while sleepy. Connor was not happy to be woken up. 

“Who all’s left” Connor muttered, stiffing a yawn. 

“Just me and Evan” Jeremy assured. 

Connor rubbed his eyes and drove across town to the Hansen/Heere house. Jeremy instantly hopped out so he could attempt to sleep, and Evan pecked Connor’s cheek before getting out. Heidi was still up when he walked in. 

“Hey Mom” Evan yawned. 

“Have fun” Heidi asked. 

“Yeah” Evan nodded. “It was nice with Jeremy with.” 

“Maybe we should plan something” Heidi offered. “You, me, Joe, and Jeremy?” 

“As long as it’s not tomorrow I’m cool with it” Evan mumbled. 

“Night honey” Heidi hummed, wrapping him in a hug. “Love you.” 

“Night mom” Evan sighed. 

Evan stumbled up the stairs and had just enough energy to change into sweats before crashing into bed. Jeremy, for once, was also snoozing quietly across the room from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •I swear it’s like I leave my moms house and all creativity just goes to shit...oh yeah!•  
> )Hey guys!(  
> -Welcome Veronica!-  
> )Thanks!(


	27. Finally Heere

_(I_read_fanfics inspired chapter)_

**Finally Heere**

“Boys” Mr. Heere shouted. “Time to get up!” 

Evan heard a crash from across the room and opened his eyes to find Jeremy on the floor in a pile of blankets. 

“Shit” Jeremy groaned. 

“Heh, nice one” Evan chuckled. 

Evan got out of bed and stole the bathroom to get dressed. Evan was out in two minutes and Jeremy walked in to shower. Evan trotted down the stairs and walked into the kitchen. Heidi was at the stove, most likely making eggs cause that’s the one thing she makes. Thus, Evan was surprised when a pancake was presented to him. 

“Are you okay” Evan asked. 

“Of course” Heidi smiled. “Are you?” 

“You made pancakes” Evan stated. “You never make pancakes.” 

“I do on birthdays Evan” Heidi grinned. 

“Is it Jeremy’s birthday” Evan blanked. 

Heidi dropped her spatula. 

“Not again Evan” the mother groaned. 

“What?” 

“It’s  _your_ birthday silly” Heidi explained. “Eighteen years old!” 

“I forgot” Evan mumbled. 

“You forgot last year too” Heidi sighed. 

“Sorry” Evan whispered. 

“How do you forget your own birthday” Jeremy asked, walking into the room. 

“I don’t know” Evan muttered. 

Jeremy was handed a pancake and the boy’s sat down to eat. Mr. Heere walked into the kitchen and ruffled Evan’s hair. 

“What do you want to do today Evan” Heidi questioned. “The sky’s the limit.” 

“I don’t know” Evan sighed. “You shouldn’t expect me to want to do anything. I’m lame.” 

“Evan Walter Hansen” Heidi snapped. “You’re doing something for your birthday wether you want to or not.” 

“I don’t know” Evan groaned. “Actually, I do know. I want you guys to start Jeremy with therapy. He needs it, even if he doesn’t complain.” 

“Alright” Heidi sighed. “We get Jeremy therapy today, what about you?” 

“I’ll go over to Connor’s and help him out” Evan offered. 

“Evan, go out and have fun” Heidi commanded, slamming his meds down on the table. “You are going to go out if it kills you!” 

“Strong words” Evan smirked. 

“Ugh” Heidi groaned. “Don’t start.” 

“I was joking” Evan mumbled. 

“Eat, get ready, get out” Heidi demanded. “I love you.” 

 Evan ate his pancake in silence and ran up to his room to grab a jacket. Jeremy followed behind and grabbed his new hoodie he got from Michael. Evan gave his mom a hug before leaving the house. Evan pulled out his phone and called Connor. 

“Hey babe” Connor answered. 

“Hey” Evan hummed. “Where are you?” 

“On my way to Sincerely Me” Connor explained. “Wanna come?” 

“Sure” Evan laughed. “I’m walking down my street.” 

“Be there in five” Connor stated. 

Sure enough, five minutes later Connor pulled up. Evan hopped into the car and Connor took off again. 

“When is the opening” Evan asked. “I know that your mom is only accepting people that have degrees.” 

“Monday” Connor grinned. “I’m assistant manager. I get to yell at the workers without having to make the drinks. But I’ll slowly be learning from others too.” 

“I’m proud of you” Evan chuckled. 

Connor pulled up to the shop and the boys got out of the car. Connor opened the door and welcomed Evan inside. 

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVAN!” 

Evan jumped back into Connor’s arms. Everyone popped out of hiding spots. Jared, Alana, Zoe, Michael, Jeremy, Mr. Heere, Heidi, and Veronica. 

“Love you Ev” Connor laughed, wrapping his arms around the shorter boy. 

“We’ve been planning this all week dude” Jared snorted. 

“How did you beat us here” Evan asked his mom. 

“We just went around the block so you didn’t see us” Heidi explained. “Now, everyone let’s go!” 

“Where are we going” Evan wondered. 

“It’s a surprise” Connor chuckled. 

Everyone walked out of the shop and piled into their cars. Mr. Heere, Heidi, Jeremy, and Michael in one. Jared, Alana, Zoe, and Veronica in another. That left Evan and Connor to drive in Connor’s car. 

“Becca! Where are we going” Evan cried. 

•Not telling.• 

Evan stopped asking and grabbed Connor’s hand, wherever they were going  at least they were together. Connor made Evan close his eyes when they arrived and Evan let his boyfriend pull him into the building. 

“I smell pizza” Evan announced. 

“You get mine and Jeremy’s gift first” Michael smiled. 

Evan was handed a box and Connor uncovered his eyes. Evan opened the box and pulled out a sky blue pair of roller skates. 

“We’re at a roller rink aren’t we” Evan chuckled. 

“Surprise” Connor whispered. “Zoe!” 

Zoe handed her brother a black pair of rollerblades. Everyone who didn’t have their own skates went to rent some and Connor pulled Evan over for them to put their own skates on. 

“I’ve never done this” Evan frowned. 

“That’s what I’m here for” Connor smiled, standing up. “You should have gotten blades, it’s easier to walk in them.” 

“I’ll live” Evan sighed, standing up. “I have a ring that gives me telekinesis. I’ve got this.” 

“Look at Veronica” Connor gasped. 

Veronica was speeding around the rink...backwards. She stopped to roll over to Evan. 

“How are you doing that” Evan laughed. 

“Grew up doing it” Veronica shrugged. “Also, oh my god jeggings are the best thing ever, oh my god! I love the 21st century!” 

“I’m glad you’re enjoying it” Connor smiled. 

“Becca, I’m lonely” Veronica sighed. “Can you bring Heather here? I don’t need her to be aware, but I need someone to understand me.” 

•Sure Veronica.• 

The author waved her arm and a girl dressed in mostly yellow showed up. The girl seemed shocked by her new new position. And possibly the fact that she was wearing yellow rollerblades.

“Veronica” Heather squeaked. “What happened?” 

Veronica didn’t answer. Instead, Veronica yanked Heather forward by her shirt and kissed her. 

“Veronica” Heather gasped. 

“Heather McNamara, I love you” Veronica breathed. “Let’s go be gay and skate together.” 

“Oh...okay.” 

Heather and Veronica skated off and Evan turned to Connor. Connor shrugged and skated a good six feet away. 

“Start slow” Connor grinned. 

Evan pushed off and stumbled over to Connor. Evan almost fell, but Connor caught him. 

“C’mon Ev” Connor chuckled. “I’m right here.” 

Evan managed to figure out controlling his skating and soon he was along side Connor. Jeremy and Michael were skating with Heather and Veronica, Zoe was helping Alana, and Jared kept falling on his ass cause he refused to accept help. Evan couldn’t help but notice that his mother and Mr. Heere has vanished. 

“Evan” Jared shouted. “Let’s eat!” 

Evan and Connor rolled over and the other teens joined. 

“I can’t believe we were in age stopping comas Veronica” Heather mumbled. “This is so cool!” 

“Sure love” Veronica smiled. “Oh, guys, this is Heather McNamara, my best friend that didn’t die.” 

“I feel bad for what happened to Heather but...” Heather trailed off. 

“She was a mythic bitch” Veronica finished. 

“Yeah” Heather nodded. 

“How many Heathers” Zoe asked. 

“Three” Heather laughed. “Heather Duke, Chandler, and me.” 

“How did we end up with another kid to take care of” Heidi asked, walking to the group. 

“I’m Heather McNamara” Heather greeted. “Sorry for inturupting.” 

“It’s okay dear” Heidi assured. “I’m assuming you’re friends with Veronica?” 

“Uh...yeah” Heather hummed. 

“Girlfriends” Veronica added. 

“I’m going to die alone” Jared groaned. 

“Where were you” Evan asked. 

“Well” Heidi drawled. “Since Joe and Jeremy are all moved in, and they got a sale on the old house...” 

“We got our marriage licenses” Mr. Heere finished. “All he legal crap is done. This is Mrs. Heidi Heere.” 

The nine teens started clapping. Jeremy and Evan got up and embraced their parents. 

“That means no more calling me Mr. Heere” Joseph warned Evan. 

“And no more calling me Ms. Hansen” Heidi smiled, looking to Jeremy. 

The brothers nodded and sat back down. Connor grabbed Evan’s hand, causing the smaller boy to grin. Connor mouthed ‘I love you’ at Evan and he blushed. Heidi and Mr. Heere went to grab drinks for the group and Jared let out a sigh. 

“Seriously, I’m gonna die alone” Jared groaned. “All the hot guys are either taken or straight!” 

“Does that include us” Evan asked. 

“Meh” Jered muttered. “You’re okay.” 

“Kleinman, I’m honored” Connor joked. 

“I can’t believe that this is all happening” Zoe laughed. “I mean...look at everything that’s changed in the past few months? Connor’s alive and well, Evan isn’t as scared, I’m dating Alana Beck, Jared’s still an asshole, this is great.” 

“Remember Heather, you can’t tell anyone about the comas” Veronica stated. “It’s our secret, okay?” 

“Yeah” Heather nodded, leaning against Veronica. 

“Can’t believe she asked and got a fucking girlfriend” Jared muttered. 

Veronica pulled Heather into a kiss and flipped Jared off. 

“Best birthday ever” Evan sighed. “And Zoe, I’m sorry I lied about your brother and dated you even though it wasn’t cool.” 

“It’s fine” Zoe shooed. “You gave me my brother back, I can’t repay you for that.” 

“Veronica” Alana called. “Do you sing?” 

“And you know, you know, you know” Veronica sang. “Life can be beautiful. You hope, you dream, you pray, and you get your way! Ask me how it feels, lookin like hell on wheels! My god it’s beautiful! I might be beautiful! And when you’re beautiful...it’s a beautiful frickin day!” 

“Heather” Alana questioned. 

“Umm...Fine if you don’t care, go and braid her hair. Maybe Sesame street is on! Or forget that creep, and get in my jeep! Let’s go tear up someone’s lawn!” 

“Remember the time you got out of date rape by volenteering me for date rape” Veronica asked. 

“Yeah” Heather sighed. “Sorry about that.” 

“It wasn’t really your fault” Veronica murmured. 

“You didn’t introduce me to your friends” Heather noted. 

“Oh” Veronica jumped. “Evan Hansen, Connor Murphy, Zoe Murphy, Alana Beck, Jared Kleinman, Jeremy Heere, Michael Mell. And the adults were Joseph Heere, Jeremy’s dad, and Heidi Hansen Heere, Evan’s mom. Good?” 

Heather nodded. The parents came back with drinks for the group. They sat around for another few hours, snacking, skating, the works. Connor took Alana and Zoe home, Jared took Michael, Veronica, and Heather, and Evan went home with his parents and stepbrother. 

“We’re you serious about the therapy thing” Heidi asked. 

“Yes” Evan answered. “Jeremy needs it.” 

“I-I was under someone else’s control for a few months” Jeremy explained. “I still get nightmares and hear his voice. I-I’m sorry I’m even asking.” 

“It’s fine Jeremy” Heidi assured. “I’ll work on it, and get you in by the end of next week.” 

“Thank you” Jeremy whispered. 

When they all returned home, Evan demnded they had a campfire since it was his birthday. Jeremy grabbed chairs and blankets while Mr. Heere started the fire in the pit that Heidi had made years ago. Evan stared from the fire to his family. 

“Hey Mom” Evan mumbled. 

“Yeah Ev” Heidi hummed. 

“I love you.” 

Heidi looked ready to cry for a moment.

“I love you too honey, happy birthday.”

_End of H &H Ark_


	28. Update

•Hey everyone, so...sorry for not updating in a few days. Look, I love this story, and having the characters be actively involved makes my day. Here’s the thing, my brain works randomly when it comes to writing. I have an idea, and I get it out there for the world, then I keep writing. But I usually grow bored with the topic or story no matter how much I love it. And that’s what’s happening here.• 

^Oh shit.^

)Fuck me gently with a chainsaw.(

•Awareness is not done by any means, I’m just...gonna take a break. I’m gonna take some time to work on other things until my brain wants to work on this more. Because, if I’m forcing myself to write a chapter every other day and I’m not into the story, the story is gonna go to shit real fast. Trust me, it’s happened before.• 

“Oh no.” 

#It’s probably for the best Ev.# 

~Damn, and things were so happy!~

•I am so, so, so, so, sorry that I have to even put this notice out there, but Awareness, until further notice, is on hold. If you have things you want to share or comments you have to say, I’ll answer them in a heartbeat.• 

=More like a few hours, but still.=

-Shush Lana!- 

•Yeah, umm...I don’t know what else to say except I’m sorry. Thank you for being patient with me, and if you’re pissed, it’s okay, I know the others are too.• 

+DAMN RIGHT IM PISSED!+

•Thank you all for keeping up with this story if you have, I’m only sixteen, having this story was a lot to keep up on. But do not worry, I’ll be back soon. Maybe all I need is some time with my friends and a little less time on my phone. You’ll still see other works from me, just not this one. And it won’t be often when I upload, unlike the days where I’m scrolling through and literally over have the shit posted for the day is my own works. A more mature work that I started is called “Heart of Steel” if you wanna read it. It’s only got one chapter as of today, but I’m offering, you don’t have to accept. Thank you again. I’ll catch you guys later!• 

“Bye!” 

~Later!~

+I’ll miss you!+

^I don’t really care, but bye!^

#Later losers!#

=Don’t change while we’re away!=

-Don’t Do DrUgS!-

)See ya fuckers!(

•Sincerely,

Becca the Biscuit Baker and the aware•


	29. Something to Say

**Something to Say**

•Guys?• 

“Becca” Evan jumped, it was three in the morning. 

“Hmm” Jeremy yawned, sitting up from across the room. 

•Get ready.• 

With a snap of her fingers, the author teleported the brothers, and the rest of the aware, to Sincerely Me. 

“Jesus” Connor jumped, clinging to the counter. 

Veronica looked like she was asleep. 

“I’m not” Veronica growled. 

Becca looked around at the aware. They made their way across the room to find their respective partners, excluding Jared and Veronica since they either didn’t have a partner or their partner wasn’t aware. Evan was almost instantly in Connor’s arms and the girls were curled up in a chair. Jeremy just flopped on the floor with Michael as a pillow. 

“How long has it been since you last talked to us” Michael asked. 

•Umm...twelve days.• 

“What’s up” Zoe hummed. “This isn’t plot.” 

•Umm...look over at the counter. There’s a box.• 

Becca watched from her phone as Jeremy got up and strolled over to the counter. He grabbed the box marked with a ‘B’ on every surface. Jeremy opened the box and instantly snapped it shut. 

“THATS NOT FUNNY” Jeremy cried. 

•I know-• 

Michael had picked up the box and looked inside. “Squips,” the teen frowned, “you gave us a box of Squips?” 

•Special Squips.• 

“How” Jeremy demanded. “Those fucking tic tacs nearly ruined my life.”

•You guys have known of me for nearly two months my time. The Squips have me as the Squip. You would be able to physically see me. That’s all I would do, nothing else. I figured you could actually see me if you wanted. It’s optional to turn me off, my voice will still be there.• 

“Why” Alana asked. 

•You guys know more about me than my real friends. You should be able to see me. You guys, you’re my world.• 

“Anyone have any Mountain Dew” Connor mumbled. 

A snap of the authors fingers and a bottle appeared. Connor didn’t hesitate to grab a pill and down it. 

•Sorry for the pain.• 

“AHH” Connor screamed. “HOLY- OWW!” 

Becca quickened the downloading time and soon she was at Connor’s feet. 

“You’re short” Connor noted. 

•Fuck you!• 

The others got up and took the pill. One by one they went through the shocking until they were all able to see Becca. 

•Hi.• 

Becca waved and looked at her feet. 

“You really are short” Michael snorted. 

•I’m five foot three.• 

“I’m only an inch taller than you” Jared offered. 

“Are you naturally blonde” Veronica questioned. 

Becca put a hand to her hair. She nodded. 

“What’s wrong” Evan asked quietly. “I can tell, I know the look. You came to us to vent.” 

“Oh fantastic” Michael grumbled. “Avoiding us for almost two weeks and you come back to fucking vent?” 

Jeremy turned and slapped Michael across the face. 

•I don’t have any real friends that wanna deal with my shit, why not? My friends don’t care, they have their own shit to deal with.• 

“What kind of friend is that” Zoe scoffed. 

•The one’s that I’m too worried to talk to.• 

“Just talk, you can always delete it later” Connor chimed in. 

•Okay. Umm...I don’t know. I just wrote everything and deleted it.• 

“We heard” Jeremy assured. 

“Shit dude” Jared whispered. 

•Is it bad that you guys know me better than my family?• 

“No” Veronica shushed. “It’s hard to share things like that with family.” 

•Kay.• 

“How’s the newest chapter coming along” Zoe sighed. 

•I’m stuck. It’s about Jared, and I just don’t know what else to put. I have two big topics shrunk down to a smaller amount of detail because I can’t add any more. I kinda need suggestions for what the readers what from Jared. What do they want your story to be.• 

“I guess this is how you’ll ask” Evan mumbled. 

•I guess.• 

“We done” Connor asked. 

•Yeah. For now.•


	30. Jared

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •A SHORT CHAPTET ABOUT JARED AND ONLY JARED!!!•  
> #YAY!!!#

_(YWBFound inspired chapter)_

**Jared**

Where to start with Jared Kleinman? Well, there’s a lot more to him then meets the eye. It just takes a lot to find out what that all is. But trust me, he isn’t all sunshine and rainbows.

For starters, Jared is transgender. Only Evan knows about this, and the others now because they can read this. He usually keeps quiet about it, because his body just wasn’t the one for him.

Jared Kleinman was born as Amber Kleinman. When Jared was very little he realized that Amber wasn’t him. Thanks to his parents emence support, Amber was forgotten and Jared became reality. 

Jared completed his change at age fifteen. But he had already been Jared for the majority of his life. Jared was externally thankful for his family and friends support and was glad that he was able to live the life he wanted. The day he told Evan about completing the change was probably one of the best in his life.

 

“Evan” Jared cried, speed walking over. 

“H-Hey Jared” Evan greeted. 

“It happened” Jared grinned. 

“What...wait, what happened” Evan blanked. 

“The change is complete” Jared squeaked. “Goodbye Amber! For forever!” 

“That’s great” Evan laughed. “Congrats man.” 

 

Yeah, it might not seem big, but Jared cared a lot about what Evan thought. But as Evan’s anxiety got worse, Jared drifted off. He didn’t want people to know who he really was. 

Jared feared lots of stuff. He feared being alone, like no one would care if he vanished. He feared people not liking him for who he truly was. Jared was a lot like Evan in that sense of the world. Why do you think his worst fear from the musical was when Evan called him out? 

 

“FUCK YOU EVAN” Jared screamed. “ASSHOLE!” 

Jared ran off and tried not to freak out. He felt like his heart was going to escape his chest. Why was this happening? What was going on? Where was he? The panic attack took over and Jared collapsed on the ground. What the fuck? 

 

Jared did have his issues. He had a little bit of anxiety, but it usually left him alone. Jared was just really insecure about himself, so he made jokes to block it out. He didn’t let people in. He tried, but it was hard. Jared just...felt broken inside. Not depressed per say, but broken. 

Jared blamed himself for what happened to Connor in the original timeline. He made the stupid joke about his hair. It was his fault. And Jared couldn’t even be honest about it. He made jokes, he helped Evan created me a fake friendship that would cause him to lose the one he had with Evan, it was his fault. Not fully, but it was still his fault. 

 

“Hey Connor” Jared cackled. “Love the new hair length. Very school shooter chic.” 

 

OH YEAH! Jared’s family. That’s a funny subject, at least in his mind. Basically his family didn’t understand that sexualities were a thing. 

Jared was two when his parents got divorced. He didn’t clearly understand why at the time, but the reason they split was funny. Apparently, his mom was lesbian and his father was gay. They got married cause they were just expected to. They were still friends to today, but his mother had remarried and his dad was single. Stupid, right? At least his parents accepted that he’s gay.

 

•Now Let’s get back to the real story.•

 

It was the day after Evan’s birthday. A Sunday, pretty quiet in Jared’s neighborhood. He decided to go on a walk. He wanted to lose some weight, even if it was only five pounds. 

Jared plugged his earbuds in and started blasting the Cats soundtrack in his ears. Jared found it easier to walk when he wasn’t focusing on where he was going. 

Of course Jared had to be an idiot and crash into another person walking. Jared landed on his ass and he looked up. What had to be the sexiest face he had ever seen was looking at him. 

“Shit, sorry” sexy face muttered, holding out his hand. “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah” Jared nodded, accepting the pull up. “I should have watched where I was going. I’m sorry.” 

“Dude, it’s fine” sexy face assured. “I could have moved. I’m Lance McClain.” 

“Jared Kleinman” Jared greeted. 

“Please, let me take you to get coffee or something” Lance begged. “I feel horrible for crashing into you.” 

“I mean...shit I can’t say no” Jared laughed. “Thanks man.” 

The two walked to a smaller coffee shop, not Sincerely Me, near Jared’s house and Lance was a gentleman and paid. Jared was impressed. 

“Your glasses are pretty cool” Lance mumbled, glancing at Jared’s eyes. “Shit, it usually isn’t that hard. Oh fuck no..”

“What” Jared frowned. 

Another boy with a mullet showed up and smirked at Lance. 

“Jared, this is Keith” Lance muttered. “My buddy from school.” 

“What’s going on Lance” Keith asked. 

“I ran into Jared, I’m making it up to him” Lance deadpanned. 

“Okay then” Keith chuckled. “Just telling you that Shiro is taking us back to visit Allura tonight. You coming?” 

“Nah, I’ll stay with my family” Lance mumbled. “I don’t need anymore of Shiro’s dad act for a week or so. Have fun.” 

“I will” Keith laughed. 

Keith walked away and Jared turned back to Lance. Lance seemed concerned. 

“What” Jared asked. 

“Look, I usually have an easier time with this” Lance explained. “But shit, you’re adorable. I get we just met, but do you wanna go out with me?” 

•SAY YES YOU DUMB FUCK!!!• 

“Of course” Jared beamed. “I’d love to.” 

Lance smiled and kissed Jared’s knuckles. 

“The honor is mine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •Jared/Lance???? I just started watching Voltron, I don’t know the characters well, give me a break. Let’s pretend that Shiro is like a caretaker for the others and then Hunk, Keith, etc are just classmates at some pilot school? No aliens. Allura is like...an aunt?? I dunno. Sorry for ruining Voltron everyone!•


	31. Me Trying to Make Reglarish Updates

**Me Trying to Make Regularish Updates**

 

The rest of the weekend has been pretty boring, at least for Evan. He spent the day at Connor’s while the rest of the Murphy’s were out, but they just musicals on Netflix. Evan went back home for dinner and Jeremy came back from Michael’s. Like I said, boring. 

 

Evan and Jeremy hustled through the morning for school on Monday. The brothers had to deal with the water heater being broken, meaning cold showers. Yay...fun. 

“Heere” Connor called, walking in. “Where’s Ev?” 

“Coming” Evan called, racing down the stairs. 

Evan crashed into the couch in his attempt to run out the door and he flipped over it. Jeremy laughed while Connor helped him up. 

•You guys are adorable!• 

“Thanks” Evan groaned. “I try.” 

Connor drove the brothers to school and Jeremy was instantly off to help Veronica with Heather and finding her classes. Evan couldn’t help but notice Jared’s car was missing. 

“He’s usually here before us” Connor muttered. “Maybe he’s sick.” 

The two shrugged and they walked into the building. They walked to class before Connor vanished again. Evan went after him and found his boyfriend against the wall of the school smoking. 

“Connor” Evan whined. “Please!” 

“Sorry” Connor sighed. “My dad has been on my ass more, I’m anxious.” 

“What does he have to be mad about” Evan asked, ignoring how Connor didn’t put the joint down. 

“He...is that Jared?” 

Evan whipped around and found Jared stepping out of a black car. The car drove away and a very happy looking Jared was walking into the building. 

“That’s not his moms car, or his dads” Evan muttered. 

“An aunt” Connor tried. 

Evan took the joint from Connor’s hand and tossed it away from him. Connor walked over and stomped it out before pocketing it. The two followed after Jared as the boy in question walked to class. 

“Hey Jared” Evan called. 

Jared whipped around and had his usual smirk in place, not the smile from earlier. 

“Evan” Jared greeted. “Murphy.”

“Isn’t that jacket big for you” Connor hummed, pointing towards the jacket covering Jared’s hands from the long sleeves. 

“It’s keeping me warm” Jared shrugged. 

“No...what happened” Evan frowned. 

“Okay, look” Jared groaned. “I might have gotten myself a boyfriend this weekend.” 

“JARED” Evan squeaked. 

“He drove me to school and his jacket was in my bag so I’m wearing it” Jared finished. 

“I’m glad for you” Evan grinned. “Let’s get to class Connor.” 

Connor let Evan pull him back to their seats. Connor leaned on Evan as class began and the teacher didn’t look pleased. 

“Mr. Murphy” the teacher called. “Get off of Mr. Hansen.” 

Connor listened, but just put his head down and plugged in his earbuds. 

“Bitch” Connor muttered. 

Evan went back to his work until Connor started jabbing him with a pen. Evan looked over and saw his eyes were red. 

“I’m high as fuck” Connor whispered. “Cuddle me.” 

“No” Evan said. 

“Please?” 

“No.” 

“I’ll be your best boyfriend.” 

“You’re my only boyfriend.” 

“I’ll suck your dick.” 

“Connor! No!” 

“I’ll shut up.” 

“No you won’t.” 

“I wanna cuddle” Connor pouted. 

“You are such a clingy high” Evan groaned. 

Evan knew what to do. The teen stood up and grabbed a garbage can, handed it to Connor, and proceeded to drag his boyfriend out of the room. 

“Oh dear” the teacher hummed. “Yes, thank you Evan.” 

Evan set the trash can down and pulled Connor out to his car. 

“Are we gonna fuck in my car” Connor murmured, kissing at Evan’s neck.

“No” Evan snorted, shoving him off. “Give me the keys.” 

Connor pulled his keys out of his pocket and handed them to Evan. Evan unlocked the door and shoved Connor into the backseat. Evan cracked open all the windows before closing the door again to lock it. 

“I’m trapped” Connor frowned, realizing his situation like a child. 

“And you have to nap” Evan commanded from outside. “If you don’t take a nap I won’t kiss you today.” 

“No” Connor gasped. “Oh my god no! I’ll nap.” 

“I’ll be back at lunch” Evan said, walking away. 

Evan tucked the keys into his jeans pocket and walked back to class. Connor was a clingy idiot when high, so he wouldn’t be able to find his way out of the car without Evan. 

 

Evan returned to the car at lunch with Connor sitting in the passenger seat. Connor had his hood up, meaning his high was over. 

“Hey” Evan hummed, unlocking the car. “You could have came back.” 

“I wanted to see if you’d come” Connor shrugged, stepping out.

“Let’s get to lunch” Evan smiled. 

 The pair walked back into the building and found their group of friends easily. 

“So what’s the problem” Zoe frowned, looking at Jared. 

“The problem is that my boyfriend is a foot taller than me” Jared exclaimed. “He’s too tall to kiss. What do I do?” 

“Kick him in the balls” Veronica offered. “When he doubles over you can kiss him.” 

“Tackle him” Alana tried. 

“Dump him” Michael offered. 

“No” a voice cried. “Just ask me to lean down!” 

Jared whipped around and was out of his chair in an instant. Evan turned and found Jared with his arms around a boy that had to be a foot taller than him.  

“Hey J” the guy chuckled. 

“What are you doing here” Jared asked. 

“Getting my jacket back” the guy explained, pulling at the fabric on Jared’s arms. “And I wanna meet your friends.” 

“Right” Jared sighed, shrugging the jacket off. “Assholes, this is my boyfriend Lance. Lance, these are my friends Evan, Zoe, Alana, Jeremy, Michael, Veronica, and Heather. The dude in the hoodie is Evan’s boyfriend Connor.” 

“Hey” Lance waved. “I’m Lance.” 

“How’d you meet” Alana asked. 

“I kinda ran into him” Lance chuckled. “Literally. We went for coffee and I asked him out.” 

“Where do you go to school” Veronica questioned. 

“I go to a special flight school” Lance explained. “I’m part of a group called Voltron. It’s pretty cool.” 

“Is it like a boarding school” Evan muttered. 

“Yeah” Lance nodded. “But my family lives so close that I can visit on weekends.” 

“Alright, I’m stealing you now” Jared announced, pulling Lance away. 

“It was nice meeting you” Lance called. 

Jared walked away with Lance and Evan sat down in his place. Their table was too full now that Heather was in the group. 

•I got this.• 

The author waved her hand and the table  changed to have ten seats fit comfortably. Only the aware noticed the change and Heather was unfazed. 

“That works” Connor muttered, taking his seat next to Evan. “Zoe, hand me a cookie.” 

Zoe passed the cookie she was about to eat to her brother and pulled another out of her lunch bag. Evan ate his sandwich quietly and let Connor doodle on his arm while they ate. Zoe and Alana shared her other cookie, Jeremy and Michael were playing a game on their phones, and Heather was playing with Veronica’s hair. 

“Veronica” Alana called. “Where are you and Heather staying?” 

“My house” Veronica shrugged. “My parents aged a bit, but they like it here in Jersey. They don’t know that me and Heather are dating, so she’s allowed to stay with us.” 

“Okay” Alana hummed. 

 

_•Switch to Jared’s POV cause why not.•_

 

Jared was sitting on his roof with Lance. Okay, well, Jared was sitting in Lance’s lap while Lance sat on the roof. They were sharing a bag of chips while they complained about school. 

“Hey Lance?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I like you. A lot.” 

“It’s mutual J.” 

“Okay.” 

Jared leaned back into Lance’s chest and basked in the warmth. 

“Hey Lance?” 

“Yeah J?” 

“Thanks.” 

“For?” 

“Liking me.” 

“No problem.” 

Jared twisted to meet Lance’s gaze. Shit he was stunning. 

“Lance?” 

“Hmm?” 

“Kiss me.” 

Lance let out a chuckle before leaning down to catch Jared’s lips. It was slow and sweet and everything Jared had hoped for. Lance pulled back and laid down, pulling Jared with him. 

“Lance?” 

“Yes?” 

“Thanks.” 

“Any time J.” 

Lance wrapped his arms around Jared and pressed a kiss to the back of his neck. 

“This means you’re letting me wear the jacket now, right?” 

“Sure J, whenever you want.” 

Another beat of silence passed between them.

“Hey Lance?” 

“Hey Jared?” 

“What?” 

“Shut up.” 

“Okay.” 

“Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •Why haven’t I been updating anything lately? Well...  
> 1\. I joined my school musical and I play four different characters  
> 2\. I have dance three times a week  
> 3\. I maybe kinda sorta have a crush on a dude for the first time since fifth grade and I’m currently befriending him.  
> 4\. That dude has a girlfriend so I know I’m friend zoned for now and I’m not going to get between them because his girlfriend lives in Texas and I’m on the opposite side of America. I might like him, but I’d rather be friends then nothing.  
> 5\. IM LAZY AF!•  
> “You forgot to mention the Instagram account.”  
> •OH YEAH! I made a Biscuit Baker Instagram account if you ever wanna talk to me. @beccathebiscuitbaker on Tumblr and Instagram!•  
> ^Sell out.^  
> •IM TRYING TO BE SOICAL CONNOR!•  
> +Right...Whatever you say Becca.+  
> •Sorry for the wait!•


	32. I was crying when I started this so I don’t have a real chapter title in mind but this is about Jared because he is my squishy son so enjoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •I’ve had a rough past couple of weeks.•

**I was crying when I started this so I don’t have a real chapter title in mind but this is about Jared because he is my squishy son so enjoy**

Jared felt someone shaking him as he woke up. Not cool. Jared threw his pillow at the attacker and tried to get back to sleep.

“J?”

“LANCE WHAT THE FUCK?”

“I...your moms invited me for breakfast” Lance explained. “They asked me to get you up. Sorry Jared.”

“Do I have to get up” Jared whined.

“Yeah, it’ll be awkward without you.”

“Lance?”

“Yeah J?”

“Come down here and kiss me you lion lover.” 

Jared opened his eyes but he was blind as shit without his glasses. Lance leaned down and pecked Jared’s lips before pulling him out of bed. 

“I hate you” Jared grumbled, walking to his dresser.” 

“No you don’t” Lance smiled. 

“Get out” Jared yawned. 

Lance gave Jared a smile before walking out the door, shutting it behind him. Jared instantly turned on his Squip and faced the author.

“Becca, what the fuck is the title of this chapter” Jared whispered, pulling in clean clothes. 

•I’m having a rough week, fuck off.• 

“Okay, sorry” Jared squeaked. 

•You’re still my squishy son.• 

Jared nodded and turned off the Squip again. The teen made sure his hair was presentable before pulling on his shoes and opening the door. Lance was looking at the pictures on the wall. 

“Ready J” Lance hummed. 

“Are you ready Lance?” 

“Hell yeah!” 

Jared pulled Lance down the stairs and actually jumped to plant a kiss on his cheek. Jared showed Lance to the kitchen and smiled at his dad and moms. 

“Hi Dad” Jared smiled. “Mum, Mom, morning.” 

“Hey sweetie” Jared’s moms sang. 

“Hey J” Jared’s dad nodded. “Who’s this?” 

“Mum, Dad, Mom” Jared sighed happily. “This is my boyfriend Lance. Lance, my mom Jessica, my mum Georgie, and my dad Brian.”

“Mr. Kleinman, Mrs. and Mrs. White, it’s an honor to properly meet you” Lance greeted. “I’m Lance McClain.”

“I like him” Brian muttered. 

“What do you want to do when you’re older Lance” Georgie asked. 

“I’m currently in a school training to become a fighter pilot” Lance explained. “But when we started the school year I was put into a different program and now I’m part of a team that’ll be the first kids to go to space.” 

“Ooh” Georgie hummed. 

“What are your intentions with my son” Jessica questioned. 

“All I want is to make Jared happy” Lance smiled, glancing at the boy. “Wether through being his friend or boyfriend, I don’t care. Jared is the one who makes that choice.” 

“Have we come to an agreement” Jessica asked her fellow guardians. 

The three nodded. Jared reached for Lance’s hand on instinct. 

“All we ask is that you treat him right” Brian smiled. “Have fun, be safe.” 

Jared was handed a plate of pancakes from Georgie and Lance was handed one from Brian. Jared sat down to eat but the doorbell rang. Jared got up and opened the door. A very eccentric man ran into the house and latched onto Lance. 

“Excuse me” Jessica cried. 

“Sorry ma’am” the guy said louder than necessary. “But Lance has to go.” 

“CORAN” Lance yelled. “Get off me!” 

“Shiro has returned with Allura” the guy, Coran announced. “They found the black lion!” 

“Coran, I’m having breakfast with Jared” Lance groaned. “You can’t just barge into people’s homes. We talked about this. Go the quiznak home.” 

“I’m sorry for the intrusion” Coran sighed. “Please excuse my behavior, don’t judge Lance for my actions. Have a nice day.” 

Coran left as soon as he came and Jared turned to face his boyfriend. 

•Coran is an Alien. You’re parents forgot the encounter.• 

“Boys, come eat” Georgie smiled. 

Jared stated himself next to Lance and they all started eating. Jared ran back upstairs to finish getting ready for school after he finished and Lance met him at the door. 

“Ready to go J” Lance hummed, grabbing Jared’s hand. 

“Yeah” Jared nodded. 

Jared climbed into Lance’s car and they drive to Jared’s school. 

“I’m not gonna be able to drive you home tonight” Lance warned. 

“What’s up” Jared asked. 

“My first space mission is today” Lance whispered. 

Now, if Jared has been talking to anyone else, he would have screamed. But this was Lance, his amazing boyfriend. Jared took a deep breath before looking back up at Lance. 

“How long will you be gone?” 

“A few weeks” Lance sighed. “Maybe a month. No more than a month for sure.” 

“When do you launch?” 

“Noon.” 

Jared leaned against Lances shoulder. 

“Is FaceTime a thing in space?” 

“I dunno” Lance sighed, digging in his pocket. “But this is.” 

Jared was handed what looked like an orange piece of glass with a plastic frame. 

“What...” 

“Its a phone you can use to talk to me while I’m in space” Lance explained. “I’ll call you whenever I’m free.” 

“Okay.” 

Lance pulled up to the school and stepped out with Jared. Jared stared at his feet while Lance pulled him into a hug. No, he wasn’t crying. Jared Kleinman doesn’t cry.

“I’ll miss you J” Lance murmured. 

Then Jared started crying. He crushed Lance in the hug and sobbed his eyes out into his chest. 

“What’s going on?” 

That was Evan. Jared looked up to his friend and wiped his eyes. Lance pushed Jared’s glasses up his nose and kissed his forehead. 

“I’m sure Jared will tell you” Lance sighed. “Bye J.” 

“Don’t hit on any girls while you’re gone” Jared warned. 

“Like I would do that when I have a perfectly good boyfriend right here” Lance laughed, walking back to the car. “But seriously, I’ve gotta go. I’ll call soon J.” 

Lance drove off and Jared walked into the building. Jared found Veronica and Heather and decided to rant their ears off for a few hours. 

At lunch Jared was just sitting with the phone in his lap. He had noted that Veronica was wearing her stalkings today. Heather was currently arguing with Connor over fashion choices so he knew he was safe.

“Veronica” Jared sighed. “Can you teleport me to Lance?” 

“Uh...sure” Veronica shrugged. “Now?” 

“I’ve only got a few minutes” Jared nodded. 

Veronica pulled him to the side and grabbed Jared’s hand. Jared barely had time to think before he was in a new location. 

“He’s through that door” Veronica pointed. “I’ll stay here.” 

Jared knocked on the door and a girl his height opened it. She had on a green set of weird space armor. 

“Who are you” the girl frowned, taking out some bayard looking thing and pointing it at him. 

“I’m...who are you” Jared retorted. 

“Katie Holt” the girl smirked. “But everyone calls me Pidge. I’m the green palidin.” 

“Where’s Lance” Jared sighed. 

“LANCE” Pidge yelled. “SOME WEIRDO IS HERE FOR YOU!” 

Lance approached the door wearing the same armor as Pidge, but it was blue. 

“Jared” Lance hissed, pulling him inside. “What are you doing here?” 

“Lance, what’s going on?” 

Now some dude with black armor was approaching them. A guy in yellow was there too. And...that Keith guy from earlier was in red. 

“Who’s that” yellow asked. 

“Guys” Lance groaned. “This is Jared. Jared, this is Pidge, Shiro, Hunk, and you already met Keith.” 

“Wait” Pidge snorted. “This is the boyfriend? Really? How’d he get in here?” 

“I...do you guys believe in magic” Jared asked. 

“Oh yeah” Hunk, the yellow one nodded. “We’ve faced so much weird stuff. Keith, show Jared the Galra side.” 

“No Hunk” Keith spat. “What magic did you use?” 

“I have a friend who can teleport” Jared explained. “She brought me here.” 

“Look, we leave soon Lance” Shiro groaned. “Say your goodbyes and get in your lion.” 

The other four left and Jared pulled Lance’s helmet off. 

“I’m expecting a magic explination when I get back J” Lance tsked. “I’ll be back soon, okay?” 

“Okay” Jared nodded, handing the helmet back. “Kiss me?” 

Lance leaned down and caught Jared’s lips. The shorter boy hummed softly before snuggling against Lance’s neck. 

“I’ll miss you Lance” Jared whispered. “Don’t die.” 

“I won’t J” Lance assured. “And if I do you can kill Keith to avenge me. Now, I’ve gotta go. I’m probably late for the launch. I’ll be home as soon as Allura and Coran let me. Promise. Bye.” 

Jared waved as Lance walked away. Veronica teleported behind Jared and grabbed his shoulder before taking them back to school. Jared sniffed and wiped his eyes. He had to be tough. He already revealed enough to the others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •God, can I get any more pathetic with my uploads? All this time for a weird and fucked up short story? Sorry guys. 
> 
> In other news, a while back I said I was running for my towns royalty. I didn’t get Queen, but I got first princess! My dance season ended earlier this month, and my school musical work is going great. While I’m still busy, I should have more time to write for all you readers, and help give these fools in the story life. Have a good rest of the day/night/whatever time zone you’re in!•


	33. I’m feeling better so let’s have a happier chapter!

**I’m feeling better so let’s have a happier chapter!**

 

Jared was bored. It had been exactly three days, four hours, eleven minutes, and fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen seconds since Lance had left earth. So, like any bored teenager (•Me in study hall today.•) he went through his old emails and computer files. 

Jared deleted over two hundered useless files on his laptop before switching to his gmail account. He was barely started when his Skype told him about a call. Who used Skype anymore? He didn’t even recognize who was calling. Oh well, live and learn. 

Jared accepted the call and his screen switched to Lance’s face. Oh my god. 

“LANCE” Jared cried. 

“Hey J” Lance laughed. “Pidge, thank you so much.” 

“Anytime Lance” Pidges voice called off screen. 

“You good J” Lance asked. 

“You’re in space” Jared muttered. “I’m sad.” 

“Ugh, I know” Lance groaned. “Do you want a tour of the castle?” 

“Castle?” 

“Oh, the spaceship is also a castle” Lance explained. “I’ll tell you more about it when I’m home.” 

“Sure” Jared nodded. “Show me.” 

“Alright” Lance nodded, switching the camera view so Jared saw the room around Lance, not his face. “This is my room.” 

“Lance McClain is that a hairdryer?” 

“Shut up J” Lance laughed, having his door open. “Keith’s room is down there, not the best neighbor.” 

Lance stared down a hallway. It looked like it could go for miles. 

“Let’s go see Hunk” Lance declared. “I’m only showing you the rooms we use anyway.” 

Lance started jogging and sooner than expected, he ended up in the kitchen. Jared saw Hunk clearly mixing something. 

“Hey Hunk” Lance called. “What are you making?” 

“You know...I’m not sure” Hunk chuckled. “Still not updated on all this alien food stuff. I really should just ask Pidge to teach me how to read this stuff.” 

“PALADINS” a voice cried. 

“Allura needs us” Pidges voice groaned off camera. “Let’s go.” 

Jared saw a glimpse of Pidge before Lance started running. They arrived in what looked like a control room. A girl with pointy ears was standing near s console. 

“What is is princess?” 

That was Shiro. 

“I’ve received a distress call from a smaller planet” Allura announced. “Galra have invaded their planet and require assistance.” 

“Let’s just fly our way down, form Voltron, beat the quiznak out of them and call it a day” Lance cried. 

“If we don’t need Voltron, we shouldn’t have to use it” Shiro frowned. “Get in your lions. Princess, let’s go get them.” 

Lance ran over to a door and put the phone that Jared was watching from in his pocket. 

“I’ll be back in a sec J” Lance assured. 

Jared waited in silence and was soon able to see Lances face. The teen had the blue armor on again. 

“Hey” Lance grinned. “So...how’s earth?” 

“It snowed again” Jared shrugged. “Cold I guess.” 

“What have you been up to?” 

“I...nothing really. School was cancelled today cause of the snow.” 

“Damn” Lance sighed. “One chance to miss school and I’m in space.” 

“Lance...your dorms are connected to school. You wouldn’t have missed anyways.” 

“Shit. You’re right. Wanna see my lion?” 

Jared nodded his head and the camera switched views again. The lion was huge. 

“Oh. My. Fuck.” 

“My gigantic mechanical lion” Lance grinned. “Well...we don’t belong to each other.” 

“You have a relationship with a mechanical lion?” 

“Being a paladin means having a connection with your lion” Lance explained. “We had to earn each other’s trust. You’ve gotta remember that this is really advanced technology and Voltron is the most powerful weapon in the universe.” 

“Sure” Jared scoffed, watching Lance enter his lion. 

“It is” Lance assured. “Let’s go blue!” 

“Lance, get off the phone with Jared” Keith’s voice hissed. “We need to focus.” 

“Right” Lance sighed. 

“Call tomorrow” Jared offered. 

“Absolutely” Lance nodded. “Bye.” 

“Bye.” 

The screen cut out and Jared closed his laptop. He’d just go pester Evan. Jared started up his car and drove to the other teens house. Connor was already there when Jared arrived. Okay. 

“Evan” Jared called, opening the door. “Heidi? Mr. Heere?” 

Jared heard someone yelp and Connor came sliding down the stairs. Evan was chasing behind him. 

“You pushed me” Connor cried. 

“Sorry” Evan whispered, pulling his boyfriend up. 

Jared stared at the two and felt his heart clench. Lance wasn’t here to push down a flight of stairs. Not that Jared wanted to do that. 

“Sorry, I’ll go bother someone else” Jared groaned, walking back to the door. 

As Jared passed Evan he could tell something was different. Jared has assumed the weed smell had been Connor... 

“YOU GOT EVAN HIGH” Jared cried. 

“Jared, shush” Evan whispered. “My mom’ll hear you.” 

“She isn’t here Ev” Connor chided. “Also, Jared, we knew that this would happen.” 

“You aren’t stoned” Jared blanked. 

“If I was me and Evan would be fucking, guarantee” Connor explained. “So no, not yet.” 

“Yeah, I’m leaving” Jared snorted. “Get that shit away from me.” 

“Weed?” 

“Not that.” 

“Jared...you’re gay...” 

“Yeah, but with me and Lance it’s cute. You? No.” 

“Fuck you” Evan spat. 

“Evan” Connor hissed. “No!” 

“I need some fucking tea” Evan grumbled, walking to the kitchen. 

“Later homos” Jared called, walking out the door. 

•Sorry.• 

“It’s okay Becca” Jared sighed. 

•Got an update to my Squip buddy.• 

Jared turned on the Squip and blinked. 

“You...” 

•I cut over a foot of my hair off! Well, I went to get it cut, don’t trust me with scissors and hair.• 

“It looks so 60s style” Jared said. 

•I like it.• 

Jared turned the Squip off again and started driving home. 

•JARED!!• 

“Jesus! What?” 

•My choir director might take a small group to go see Dear Evan Hansen when it comes to the theater that we go to for our yearly trip!!!!• 

“Congrats” Jared sighed. “Let me drive in peace.”

Jared continued the drive home and plopped down on his bed. Lance was probably still busy, yay.

”Becca!” Jared cried, turning the Squip on. Jared watched Becca appear and nearly fell off of his bed. “WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOU?” 

•Okay, umm, I almost died. Not exaggerating. Umm, I had surgery and that’s why I haven’t been working on this. I finally go back to school tomorrow my time. My depression got worse and I’m gonna go to court so I can stop seeing my mom sometime soon. It’s been rough lately. That’s why I haven’t been working.• 

“I thought this was supposed to be a happy chapter,” Jared whispered. 

Becca nodded, •It will be. Also, thanks to PSILoveYou, my writing style has changed again, so let’s hope that gets bletter.• The author snapped her fingers quietly, •Lance is now back on earth along with the rest of Voltron. You’ll get to see him in a bit. And now I started a [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/asktheaware) just for asking about you guys and shit. I will draw, but it won’t be great. So, yeah. Anonymous asks are welcomed and enjoyed and this will be what I do with you guys between chapters. Warning, I can’t draw hands or arms. So that’s something to be happy about. Also, I started working with [PSILoveYou](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PSILoveYou/pseuds/PSILoveYou) on a few works. They aren’t tree bros but we will have one soon that we’ve been working on for a while. The other works are [~this~](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16685623) and [~this~](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16489412) if you readers want to check them out. They’re kinda long, so bunker down if ya do. So, while my life has been literal garbage lately, this is what I’ve been up to since working on the last chapter. Sorry for the wait guys.• 

“Oh my god that first one is so sad...” Jared whispered. 

•Back to the chapter J.•

Jared heard a knock on the front door and he went down to open it. He was greeted with Lance. Jared was instantly scooped up and spun around.

“We finished and then wormholed home,” Lance murmured into Jared’s shoulder. “I missed you so much, J.” 

“Missed you too ya dork,” Jared beamed, pulling Lance down to kiss him. “Jesus, I missed you.”

Jared pulled Lance up to his room and flopped onto his bed, “I demand post space mission cuddles!” 

Lance laughed and snuggled against Jared, obviously Lance was the big spoon since he was ten inches taller than Jared. “So...you know about magic?” 

“OH COME ON!”

_(End of the Jared arc)_


	34. Dare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ✿My symbol is this today, I highly suggest reading till the end.✿

**Dare**

✿...Do I dare wake you up...✿

Evan opened his eyes and stared at his activated Squip. He then looked around the room and saw that all of his friends were there too. They were at Sincerely Me again, it had to be around two o'clock in the morning.

"So...you _are_ alive," Michael hummed, rubbing his eyes.

✿Michael, not now please. I know, I know, trust me.✿

Zoe shuffled over to her girlfriend, "How long has it been?" 

✿Umm...a month my time? Only a few hours yours...✿

"Why's your symbol different?" Jared asked.

"Why have you been gone for a month?" Michael growled.

"That means it's Christmas for you," Alana noted. "Have a happy holiday?"

✿Yeah, actually. I started crying when I opened one of my gifts cause...my dad got me tickets to go see Dear Evan Hansen when the tour comes near me. I didn't think I'd get them.✿

The author twirled her hair a bit as she glanced around at the aware.

"I don't think anyone saw the last chapter," Veronica stated.

✿Yeah, me too.✿

"...What else has happened to you?" Connor looked up from where he was now clinging to Evan.

✿Well, I said it in the last chapter, but I had surgery...again...and umm...you guys saw what I deleted, right?✿

"Holy shit," Jeremy whispered.

✿But it's okay now, promise. I'm all better.✿

"Thank god," Evan gasped.

✿You know how I said I was supposed to be in my school musical?✿

"Yeah?" Michael was still pissy but Becca was like a mom-friend-sister to him.

✿I missed it because of surgery. I was admitted opening night.✿

"Oh no," Jeremy gasped.

✿So...I'm sorry to you guys, readers and aware alike. I didn't plan on a month, hold up it's past midnight, a month and a day break from this. I won't be back  _anytime_ soon, fully returned that is. But this deserved a little attention. Kay?✿

"Oh, well, thank you for noticing us," Alana smiled softly. "Wait that sounded rude, I didn't mean it rudely."

✿It's okay Lana, promise. How about, since the main plot focuses on the boys, we do a girls arc? Is it **a-r-c** to spell it or **a-r-k** because they are both correct in my spelling. I think one has to do with math...I'm in algebra so...I dunno.✿

Connor snorted, "Good luck finding out. Seriously, what else has happened to you lately?"

✿...My birthday was recently? I'm seventeen?✿

"Listen up folks," Veronica sang. "War is over, brand new sherrif's come to town. we are done with acting evil. We will lay our weapons down. We're all damaged, we're all frightened, we're all freaks but that's alright. We'll endur it, we'll survive it. Martha are you free tonight?"

"Who's Martha?" Michael asked.

✿Old friend from her timeline.✿

"I can't promise no more Heathers," Veronica continued. "High school may not ever end. Still, I miss you. I'd be honored if you'd let me be your friend."

"She's really good," Zoe whispered, pulling Alana into her arms.

We can be seventeen," Veronica hummed. "We can learn how to chill. If no one loves me now, someday somebody will."

"You still haven't let us listen to the Heathers sound track yet," Jared noted. "We only know bits."

Veronica ignored them, this was her present to Becca. "We can be seventeen, still time to make things right, one day we'll change the world. But let's kick back tonight! Let's go be seventeen, take off our clothes and dance. Act like we're all still kids, cause this could be our final chance!

ALways be seventeen, celebrate you and I, maybe we won't grow old, and maybe then we'll never die! We'll make it beautiful! We'll make it beautiful! Beautiful! Beautiful! Beautiful! Beautiful! Beautiful! Beautiful! Beautiful! Beautiful! Beautiful!"

✿Thanks Veronica! Ooh! You know how I always call Jeremy my twink and Michael my twunk?✿

"...Yeah..." was the collective answer from the group.

✿I have nicknames for all of you now!

Jeremy: twink

Michael: twunk

Veronica: Roni

Zoe: Zozo

Alana: Lana

Connor: Con/Connie depending on the day.

Evan: Ev or tree boi

Jared: J

Heather (I realize she isn't here but I wanna make a statement that I enjoy her presence: Hmm (Cause her initials are H.M.)✿

"Cute," Alana squealed.

Connor looked at the time on the clock, "I think you should leave the chapter here and wait for people to start answering you about the girls a-r-c or a-r-k however you spell it cause we don't know if you don't."

✿Okay, I'll see you guys in the comments I guess?✿

"Yeah," Evan grinned.

[☃Seventeen Reprise Lyrics, yes I made the symbol a snowman for no reason.☃](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zAAXjHKXhNI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ☃I don't remember the key at this point, just leave questions and comments, I'll answer in a few hours.☃


	35. Reset

**Restart**

**_(Wiesel, your prompt will be next chapter bud)_ **  

**•** Guys? **•**

Connor and Evan looked up, "Yeah?"

**•** I've realized an issue with this story. **•**

"Your consistent spelling and grammar errors?" Connor guessed.

**•** No, well, yes it's an issue, but I'm talking about Lance. **•**

"What about him?" Evan asked.

**•** Well, Lance isn't a musical character. He doesn't belong here. **•**

"What are you going to do? Get rid of Jared's boyfriend he waited ages to get?" Connor chuckled.

**•** No, I'm going to deal with two issues at once. I'd like to point out that you guys are already in your second semester of school, and the whole story has to take place before you graduate. So, I'm going to reset the timeline. **•**

"What?"

**•** I'm going to start the story over. **•**

"Like...completely?" Connor whispered. "Like, getting rid of all the relationships we made here?"

**•** Yes, but all the former progress we made is stored on the internet in my world, so this will never die. **•**

"When are you going to do it? How is that fixing the Lance problem?" Evan squeaked.

**•** Lance will be replaced, as I said, with a musical character. Remember how Michael had a sister that I mentioned in like...one chapter? **•**

The boys looked at each other, "Yeah?"

**•** Well, when I reset the timeline I'm going to give Michael a twin brother instead. Named Grover. **•**

"Wait," Connor started laughing. "Like from Sesame Street?"

**•** No. Like from the Percy Jackson books that I never read. But anyway, they turned a book into a musical, and guess who played Grover originally. **•**

"...Britton Smith?"

"Connor, it's George Salazar you dumbass!" Evan started laughing. "Because Grover will be Michael's twin."

"Oh."

**•** Yeah! Nice Ev! Now, say goodbye to the readers you have never seen but have had talked to in the comments. For, when I restart the timeline, you will grow differently. Some things that happened before won't happen. You'll forever be a different person, even in the slightest amount. I plan on making Connor a bigger stoner, but that's for later. **•**

Evan shifted uncomfotably, "Uh, goodbye readers, even though I will see you again. See ya in the new timeline."

"As long as I end up fucking Evan I don't care what happens," Connor shrugged. "Later, I guess."

"Wait, we're gonna get together again," Evan grabbed Connor's hand. "Right?"

**•** Yeah. Eventually. **•**

Connor looped his arms around Evan's waist and kissed him.

"I love you,"Evan whispered.

"Love you too," Connor murmured. "Knowing the people in the comments, we're gonna be back together in a few chapters. So, I'll see you in a bit, I guess."

Evan nodded and wrapped Connor in a bear hug, practically squeezing the life out of him.

With that the author snapped her fingers, and we are back in Evan's bedroom, without Connor.

[•Scene Change Yippy Skippy•](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuUvPZDA25o) 

Evan groaned at the sound of his alarm. The teen hated getting up to have another day of everyone hating him. Granted the boy knew it was his own fault, he made the mess that is his life.

”Who said that” Evan squeaked.

 •Hey, long story short, I'm your god.•

"What..."

•My name is Becca the Biscuit Baker, you can call me Becca, how's it going Ev?•

"Uh...bad...I guess."

•That's right, everyone hates you right now! Let's fix that!•

Becca made a motion with her arm and Evan was sent back to the first day of senior year.

"What the fuck!" Evan stared at his casted arm.

•You'll get used to me. C'mon Ev, get ready for school.•

Thanks to the power of keyboards, Becca is able to skip the getting ready sequence and skip right to Evan being at school. There's gonna be a lot of time skips this chapter my dudes.

"Chapter?" Evan whispered.

•You're in a fan fiction, I'm sure someone can explain it to you in the comments.•

Evan tried to ignore the weird voice in his head and saw Jared approaching.

"Dude," Jared grinned. "New guy is hot! I know you're straight and all, but damn...new guy could fuck me any day."

"Well, one, Jared, I'm bi," Evan said. Wait...where did that come from?

•You're welcome!•

"And, uh, two, I'm not sure who he is."

Jared pointed to a boy with a goatee, "Right there! I mean, honestly, owo."

"What did you say?"

"Owo," Jared explained. "Get with the times Evan." Jared noticed the cast. "Uh, did you break your arm jacking off? Lemme guess, since you're apparently bi now...OHH! Both Murphy siblings pulled up on your shitty phone. Seriously, do you take that as an honor?"

"I fell out of a tree," Evan mumbled.

"Ah, well..." Jared's attention was taken away from Evan. "Hey Connor! Love the new hair length! Very school shooter chic!"

"His hair looks fine Jared," Evan snapped. "Don't be a dick just because you're into the dude with the goatee!"

Evan walked away, catching a glimpse of goatee guy walking over to Jared.

•His name is Grover.•

 

At lunch Evan walked to the computer lab. Time to write another useless letter.

•We all know what the letter says, so I'm not typing it up.•

"Uh...thanks...for earlier."

Evan whipped around and found Connor Murphy. His hair was in need of a shampooing, but looked fine.

•Dude, you're into him.•

"No...no problem."

"I...no one signed your cast."

"I know."

"Well...I can?"

"Sure."

Evan handed Connor a marker and let him write the letters across his cast.

"Now we can both pretend we have friends."

"...Right."

"Uh...is this letter yours?" Connor held up the paper. "Y'know, it says Dear Evan Hansen, and that's you...so..."

"Oh, yeah that's just an assignment," Evan grabbed the paper before Connor could read it. "Thanks!"

Evan hurried out of the computer lab and went to eat his lunch.

•Damnit Evan!•

"What?" Evan asked himself.

•Last time I tried to have you become friends with Connor I made it way too easy, so now I'm here giving you a harder time and I'm pretty sure Connor still feels depressed.•

"If you're my god can't you just make him not depressed?" Evan whispered. "And, like, why does it have to be me. Connor's nice looking and all, but why can't it be Jared?"

•Romantic relationships work best when there's a friendship behind them. I chose you to be the one to save Connor because I plan on you two getting together in preferably a few chapters or less, meaning next chapter if the people want it that badly and tell me.•

"And what's with the chapter shit? You aren't explaining anything to me!"

•Evan, last time I did this you resented me, so I'm going to stay a little distant until you trust me. The comments will most likely explain it to you if I ask. And I did already, so don't fret Evan.•

 

Evan started the walk to his locker after school. At least when they skipped time Evan remembered the classes.

•Evan, Connor's in a park right now.•

"Cool?"

•Dude! You know that he's suicidal! Go get him! God! Did you forget the reason that everyone hated you?!•

Evan thought a moment, "Shit! Where is he?"

•I'm literally your god, your body will just know the way. It's like the power of cliche gay romance is flowing through you to go save the boy of your dreams.•

Evan nodded to himself and tore down the streets. Becca wasn't lying, he just knew the way. Once at the park he saw Connor sitting at the base of a tree. Fuck!

"Connor! Stop!"

Connor looked up, "Knew I should've stayed home."

Evan didn't bother talking to Connor, He grabbed the pill bottle that was in his hand and examined it. Either Connor didn't take that many pills, or he hadn't taken any.

"Why the fuck would you do that?" Evan cried. "Do you realize how bad your family would miss you? You probably don't. Don't fucking do  _this_." Evan started letting all his anger out about what had happened when Connor had died. "You've got so much shit to live for! You're an amazing artist! Why the fuck would you do this to try and pass up a chance to go to a school for art?! Goddamnit Connor!"

"...Since when do you give a fuck?"

"Since I jumped out of a fucking tree and didn't fucking die!"

"Okay, Evan, chill the fuck out. I'm fine."

"You aren't fine! You just tried to kill yourself!"

Connor let Evan have that.

Evan dropped to Connor's level, "Please don't do this to yourself."

Connor looked broken, Evan hadn't noticed that last time. How had he completely forgotten what Connor did. This whole Becca thing was throwing him off.

"You don't care," Connor whispered. "You just want me to talk you up. "Evan Hansen saves the suicidal stoner," that's what you want, right?"

Evan took his hand, "No. I do care. If I had known before...I would have tried harder. No one was there for me, someone should be there for you."

Connor stared at Evan's hand, "You aren't scared?"

"Well, yes, I'm scared," Evan laughed. "But...no one tries to know you for who you really are. I wanna do that. Even if it means being a little scared. I just wanna get to know the real Connor Murphy. And maybe help him without getting anything out of it. Except..."

"What?"

"Can we just...not pretend to have friends?"

"Huh?"

"I'm asking you to be my friend, dumbass."

Connor pressed his lips together in a line, thinking about it.

"I guess."

Evan smiled bright, "Thank you."

Evan pulled Connor up from the ground. Connor brushed himself off and gave Evan a small trusting smile.

"Oh," Evan perked up. "I have a thing for hugs, you've been warned."

Connor nodded, "I don't...ever get hugs, so I'll try not to be weird about it." He picked at his nail polish, "Uh, can I...this is really dumb because I barely know you, but uh, is it cool if I hang out at your house? I don't wanna go home today. If not it's chill I can find-"

"Con, it's fine," Evan assured. "No one'll notice anyway. My mom won't be home."

"And your dad?"

"He moved to Colorado when I was seven," Evan explained. "You don't have to worry about him either."

Connor just nodded. They started the long walk to Evan's, the shorter boy pitching the pill bottle in a trash can on the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •So, uh, you guys...new Evan is here. Evan say hello.•
> 
> "Uh...Hi?"
> 
> •Leave comments for me and Evan if you want, tell me what you want to happen. Later guys!•
> 
> "Um, bye...I guess."


End file.
